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Mens Health > Sexual Health - Men Forum > Male orgasm cannot cum (Page 1)
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Q: Male orgasm cannot cum
asked by: newbie88 on January 1st, 2008
New User
I have had sex about 3 times my first time was 2 hours and a half and I wasn't able to have an orgasm and I was half drunk so we thought that was the reason, then my second time we went for 3 hours and I still wasn't able to orgasm and we thought that was odd then I was close but still a ways to go, so we tried again Saturday and it was the same problem, can any one pls help me out or tell me whats wrong.
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unnamedny
replied on January 1st, 2008
Experienced User
same thing happened to me, just give it some time, once you get used to your partner you can even control your orgasms.
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yogahoneybunny
replied on January 1st, 2008
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How long does it take for you to orgasm if you masturbate?

And how is your partner dealing with it?
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newbie88
replied on January 2nd, 2008
New User
If I masturbate it takes about 5 to 6 minutes, me and my gf has been dating for about 6 months and we had sex for the first time 2 months ago and that was my first time I wasn't able to orgasim she doesn't have a problem with it that much but I do I can go about 10 or 15 mins then I start to soften up a little but if it comes out or we change positions I will go all the way soft I don't get it at all I can never orgasim and I get a bit softer during sex I am 19 this can't be normal but I do stay up long enough for her to orgasim thats why she don't mind but she still gets a little frustrated because she wants to start working on my orgasim after she gets hers. what could be the problem?
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yogahoneybunny
replied on January 2nd, 2008
Supporter
It is probably just anxiety and lack of experience. If you have no trouble reaching orgasm by masutrbating, you are probably just fine and need some more time to develop your style. When you do cum, do you increase speed or is it a steady rhythm?
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Georgia59
replied on January 2nd, 2008
Especially eHealthy
Were you drunk all of those times or just the first time?

Being drunk, for a lot of people, makes sex dull.

Other than that, I agree that you probably just need more practice to learn how to feel great when you're with a woman too. Sex is clumsy at first. Smile Try not to worry too much about it and just do what feels right, regardless of orgasm.
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newbie88
replied on January 3rd, 2008
New User
yogahoneybubby it feels weird telling you this.lol but I am searching for help so I will tell you.lmao I keep a steady rhythm, and Georgia59 I was only drunk the first time.
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yogahoneybunny
replied on January 3rd, 2008
Supporter
Here is my husbands advice:

1. Male sure you are having sex on a harder surface, instead of a soft crappy mattress. This way you can control penetration and go deeper.

2. Are you using condoms? Sometimes they can desensitize the penis and you cannot feel the tightness.

3. Are you using medication? Sometimes meds can kill an erection or orgasm.

4. Finally, is the problem that you cannot feel youèr girlfriend? Is she tight or loose?
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newbie88
replied on January 3rd, 2008
New User
1. I don't need to go deeper I already hurt her stomach so thats not the case.

2. I don't use a condoms I didn't like it my first time so I took it off and I haven't been using one since.

3. I am not on any meds.

4. I can somewhat feel her, there is feeling there.
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unnamedny
replied on January 3rd, 2008
Experienced User
you are probably perfectly fine, by the way your girlfriend should be thankful. I know it might make her feel bad, because you don't get an orgasm, but it will go away in a little while. Try different positions, you might feel more relaxed when she is on top of you.

The reason I'm telling you that, I had similar issue.
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x0x011
replied on January 3rd, 2008
Experienced User
Do you orgasm from oral sex/hand jobs from her? It always helps to get comfortable with that. If she can't make you ejaculate those ways either than maybe you just have anxiety.
If you do ejaculate from this you could always do it until you are really close, then have intercourse until you are finished. And just think about it feeling similar to oral/masterbation.
It sounds like you are over thinking when you do it lol. Like everyone else says just relax and enjoy, most guys can't last for 3 min when they first start having sex.

I hope your GF is on birth control if you aren't using condoms.
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newbie88
replied on January 3rd, 2008
New User
I do like it better when she is on top.


Thank you.
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newbie88
replied on January 3rd, 2008
New User
x0x011 wrote:
Do you orgasm from oral sex/hand jobs from her? It always helps to get comfortable with that. If she can't make you ejaculate those ways either than maybe you just have anxiety.
If you do ejaculate from this you could always do it until you are really close, then have intercourse until you are finished. And just think about it feeling similar to oral/masterbation.
It sounds like you are over thinking when you do it lol. Like everyone else says just relax and enjoy, most guys can't last for 3 min when they first start having sex.

I hope your GF is on birth control if you aren't using condoms.

We never tried anything else just sex and she doesn't do oral.
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x0x011
replied on January 4th, 2008
Experienced User
You mean you've never done ANYTHING other than sex? no progression?
Foreplay?
ANYTHING??
Have you given her oral?
No wonder you are having trouble reaching orgasm having sex with her if she has never made you orgasm any other way.
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newbie88
replied on January 4th, 2008
New User
x0x011 wrote:
Do you orgasm from oral sex/hand jobs from her? It always helps to get comfortable with that. If she can't make you ejaculate those ways either than maybe you just have anxiety.
If you do ejaculate from this you could always do it until you are really close, then have intercourse until you are finished. And just think about it feeling similar to oral/masterbation.
It sounds like you are over thinking when you do it lol. Like everyone else says just relax and enjoy, most guys can't last for 3 min when they first start having sex.

I hope your GF is on birth control if you aren't using condoms.

And yes my gf does use birth control thank you for you helpful info.
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newbie88
replied on January 4th, 2008
New User
x0x011 wrote:
You mean you've never done ANYTHING other than sex? no progression?
Foreplay?
ANYTHING??
Have you given her oral?
No wonder you are having trouble reaching orgasm having sex with her if she has never made you orgasm any other way.

Yep thats right I haven't done anything other than sex no foreplay at all.
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x0x011
replied on January 4th, 2008
Experienced User
Can i ask why?
and have you ever asked why she won't do oral?
If you have been together for a while and have both been tested for std's then it can be quite pleasurable for both of you and makes for a good progression to sex.
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newbie88
replied on January 4th, 2008
New User
I have a long story to tell you and this may relate im asking will you listen so I can type the whole thing.lol so you don't leave.
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x0x011
replied on January 4th, 2008
Experienced User
lol k ill be here
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newbie88
replied on January 4th, 2008
New User
Alright thanks....ok we grew up together then we started dating when she was 9 and I was 11 and we dated for 8 years the first 5 and a half of those years we barely saw each other at all we had basically a phone relationship then we broke up for a few months then got back together so it was off and on for a few months and with me not seeing her it was like a friend I never knew.lol then we broke up again for like a year then we got back together June 9 of 07 and we had sex on July 9 of 07 that was my first time but it wasn't hers and I was half drunk and so when I wasn't able to have an orgasm we thought it was that, and we tried twice after that and the last time was about 6 days ago and same thing, this long story is to say I know her but I don't know her so that could be the reason and she is the only girl that I ever really been with as in making out and sex and we just got that close not too long ago so I still get a bit jittery round her could this be my main issue??
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