Joined: 06 Apr 2007 Posts: 532 Location: Woodlands (not like there are woods anywhere near) Garden City ,
Thanks: 9
Thanked:7
Husband not helping around house Posted: 12-31-07 21:46pm
I wish everyone Happy New Year but for me
it wasn't a good start for a brand new
year. Yesterday we are supposed to go out
as a family before going out it's my
ritual to make sure that everything is
tidy so while I was tidying up the rooms
my husband just sat down and watched tv, I
told him to help me he still watched the
tv then I switched it as he said that we
are going out.
Afterwards while all of us are ready and
waiting for him he was in a towel after
shower - still watched tv! When I asked my
son to switched off the tv, he then
scolded my son (he always hate our second
son) he told him off and warned him (my
son). I told my son who was crying that to
ignore his father.
To cut the story short, not knowingly I
cut my right hand, I only realized that
when my children said: "Mommy there's
blood on the floor". Everyone I try to
help in any forum that I can, so now
please help me to tell me how to solve
this problem.
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impulser23
Supporter
Joined: 14 Nov 2007 Posts: 122 Location: ,
Posted: 12-31-07 22:24pm
i can only think of talking to him.
Talking is the best way to solve these
kind of situations. Obviously your husband
is at fault here for yelling at ur son
like that, if anything u should tell him
to yell at you cuz the poor kid was just
doing what u were telling him to. My dad
used to be like that to me and my mom but
he has changed to a better man now cuz my
mom would talk to him and eventually when
i got older and landed a place on the
wrestling team i had the guts to tell my
dad howmuch i hated him for yelling at me
in the past. But im sorry u cut urself
during this whole issue, im pretty sure
that was just an accident. But definately
talk to ur husband about the situation.
New Years is for new beginnings dont start
it off shaky.
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Hart74
Supporter
Joined: 06 Apr 2007 Posts: 532 Location: Woodlands (not like there are woods anywhere near) Garden City ,
Thanks: 9
Thanked:7
Posted: 01-01-08 06:58am
Thanks impulser23, I did told him that -
don't take it on my son instead of me, I
told my husband that my son is just
following my order and I told him "do you
know why my son listens to me more is
because I don't scold him like you do". I
told him also:"you don't like your dad to
do it to you when you were young right so
now don't do it to my son".
You are right I don't want to start a new
year shaky, who likes it anyway but then I
can't help it when it involves my
children.
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mominashoe
Supporter
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 1702 Location: , KS USA
Thanks: 33
Thanked:16
Posted: 01-01-08 09:19am
Ugh, what a situation.
I'd just wish you a a Happy New Year too,
but it looks like you need more than just
that.
Your husband needs to be more
understanding. You could even just get
rid of the TV for a while and I know for
certain that this would help your
communication. Even if it's just for a
day, hide it, get together as a family,
and talk about the issues that are keeping
you from being a very happy and united
family and what you can do to solve them.
I'm not saying TV is bad, but it certainly
keeps people apart sometimes.
Don't worry about not having a good enough
start for the new year. Just because you
put up a new calendar on the wall doesn't
mean that things have to be perfect or
cannot be. Every day, every minute is a
fresh new start, so don't be discouraged
when something goes wrong.
Maybe your husband just needs some
incentives, just like you'd do for kids.
I don't mean a sticker chart, lol, but
when he's good to the family, do something
special....when he's not, ignore him.
Don't even give him the satisfaction of
having you around and talking to you or
your son, especially if he's verbally
abusing your son. Just leave quietly.
Let him realize by your actions that if he
isn't going to be a mature adult and
father, he can't be included in family
activities or have the advantages that a
husband should have, not even a
home-cooked meal.
Good luck and happy beginnings, no matter
what date they happen to be
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yogahoneybunny
Supporter
Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 880 Location: Strumica, Macedonia
Thanks: 4
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-01-08 18:45pm
My husband and I have an agreement about
the aork that we do around the house. He
helps washing the dishes and it makes both
of us feel good to participate. Don`t
feel that you have to carry the burden of
all the house keeping... this is the 21st
century qfter qll. Is your husband fairly
modern and open to helping you out?
