Well, ladies I moved out of our apartment together. I packed all of my stuff in the back seat of my car and I left yesterday morning. I gave him a kiss on his shoudler and I didnt wake him up and I left. I am so sad and depressed. I miss him, I miss his smell. I miss his smile and I miss talking to him about everything and its only been a day.

This has been coming for a long time. I have become second in the relationship and that just isnt ok for me anymore. My last straw was when he got fired on thursday, now I have been supporting him since august due to an injury. Well he just got a new job and he got himself fired on purpose. He didnt like the work he was doing and I guess it didnt bother him that I am in debt because of him not working in the past. So that was my turning point. I realized that he would never care enough that he would never want what I wanted and so I moved away from him.

He is smoking pot all of the time. He hasnt been sober in 3 weeks. He brings drugs to our house when I ask him not to. He will not slow down. He smokes while driving, he doesnt respect me when I ask him to keep it away from me. He has told me : "I will get high when ever the f@!$ I want to, where and when I want to. I was willing to meet him halfway. I told him to just get high occasionally, or when he was out with his buddies I just didnt want drugs around all the time. He wasnt even willing to agree to that. He said he wants to get high all the time and that I am in the wrong because I was putting boundaries and rules on him. So I left.

We were fighting all of the time, nothing was enjoyable. I even started to use drugs with him so we could have something in common. And that is bad. I cannot let myself go down like that. We didnt agree on anything. This hurts so much, why couldnt he love me more? Why do the drugs mean more to him than us? That is the biggest pain, is that I am second to his friends and his fun.

Our problems started back in Sept. His friend Doug moved in with us. Things started to get really strained because Doug didnt work, he didnt clean, he was with us all the time. The only alone time we had was while we were having sex. So I talked to him and told him that I needed more of him and that we needed to be together alone sometimes and if he could tell Doug to take the car some days and leave us alone. That happened for a week, then the same things started again. now this whole time Daniel is not working and neither is Doug. I am supporting the entire household. They stay up all night and sleep all day. Daniel didnt even sleep in bed with me unless I asked him to. SO I made Doug leave. Things were great for awhile and then he started to smoke pot. Everything spiraled after that and that is what led me to leave. I beleive that Doug is the reason. Something made Daniel change and Doug is all I can think of

I am lost. I know I have done the right thing and I know that I will be ok. it just hurts