Eating Disorders Forum - Bulimic and want to get better

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Q: Bulimic and want to get better

asked by: Isolated45 on December 31st, 2007

New User

Hello..
I'm new at posting personal things online so.. it might be a bit strange sounding sometimes when you're reading my post..
I'm a 17 year old girl.
i have been bulimic for around.. 2 years? and going onto 3 very soon
umm..
at first i lost a huge amount of weight, i thought it was wonderful being bulimic but then would gain it back sometimes and would have to use green tea to take it off fast.
i moved and everything has changed.. i gained more weight because i was depressed and went through so much stress from the move from home..
im planning to change... i know when i throw up its horrible
but its so disgusting because.. i dont even care about it anymore i find.. that its become a part of my daily routine?
tom. is new years and im suspose to visit my friends.. and ive gained probably 15 pounds - 25 in one week from christmas and being depressed
i dont know how im going to move back on my own
and i feel horrible about myself..
i have tried stopping so many times.. but i dont want to tell my mom or see a doctor? they will make me stop forever and eventually i will gain even more weight
even though i ate healthy for one whole week without purging.. and then gave up and ate the largest amount of food ive ever consumed and never did purge it..? because sometimes i dont even bother but other times i HAVE to.... probably because theres some type of event coming up that i have to look my best for... or im sick of feeling like a whale..
i just eat huge amounts of food and if one little thing goes wrong i say screw the shower and go to bed waking up 6-10 times at night of heartburn and an acidy feeling in my throat or wanting to throw up because i see my stomach looks like a pregnant womans..
i dont know what to do.. i dont want to talk to anybody
i just want to be thin and happy with my life
ive failed my entire grade 11 basically this semester
because i didnt care.. i was too busy eating and throwing it up and finding plans to move back

just it was a big mistake to ever become bulimic and i dont know how to get my life back on track.. i want to be home and with my caring friends.. and have good grades.. be alone.. and at the same time feel good about my image?

thanks to whoever had the time and patience to read my very long and somewhat confusing post...

Replies(5)

young Girl

replied on December 31st, 2007

Especially eHealthy

you gained 25 pounds in a week?

bubblez

replied on January 4th, 2008

New User

Dude, I was bulimic and anorexic for two years. I have a pretty good idea of what you're going through.

Listen to me, because I didn't do this. Wasn't able to.

Tell your mom and get help. They will help you and you will be happier.

If you eat small proportions, you will lose weight.

Question though...
You said you lost a huge amount of weight, how long did it take you to lose it?

gingerelizabeth

replied on January 11th, 2008

Experienced User

hey!
the best thing you can do is get help, and realize food IS NOT a comfort.
find some sort of hobby that gets your mind off binging and purging. you wont lose and gain weight so fast and you will be far healthier.
stay strong!

innerloss

replied on January 21st, 2008

New User

Wanting Recovery

I have been struggling with bulimia for a while now, and I can really relate to everything that you have said. One thing I have realized over the few years is that I have to let go of the weight thing. It is difficult.
Also you really do need some proffessional help. Someone who has cancer would not try and treat it on their own, so why just because this is a mental illness would you try and do it on your own?

Fairy Godmother

replied on January 22nd, 2008

Supporter

Here to help if I can..........

You are bulimic because this is the only thing you feel you have CONTROL over......your weight. Inside you are feeling very insecure about yourself. The weight issue is a CONRTOL ISSUE. When you feel the only thing left you can control is your weight, this overtakes you. You need to tell your Mother and you need to see a physican. This making yourself YAK, I can not tell you the damage you are causing to your esophogus and your stomach. By blowing chunks, the acid is eating away at your stomach lining. I haven't gotten to the part about eating the enamel off your teeth. Your dentist will be able to tell, and if I were you. I'd want to be the one to tell my Mother instead of her finding out second hand....kinda embarrassing. Theres a little flap, ( not sure what its called medically) that keeps the food waste from coming back into your mouth, this flap can actually flip and you could literally choke to death on your own vomit.............Sweet Girl, I've been there and done that. I have a 24 year old daughter and I never wanted her to have to go through this. You can control your weight this yo yo dieting /gaining and puking to loose is a no win situation. THere are healthy eating plans out there for you. Please take control back of your life, instead of allowing yourself such pain..........always here to help if I can!

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