Hello..
I'm new at posting personal things online so.. it might be a bit strange sounding sometimes when you're reading my post..
I'm a 17 year old girl.
i have been bulimic for around.. 2 years? and going onto 3 very soon
umm..
at first i lost a huge amount of weight, i thought it was wonderful being bulimic but then would gain it back sometimes and would have to use green tea to take it off fast.
i moved and everything has changed.. i gained more weight because i was depressed and went through so much stress from the move from home..
im planning to change... i know when i throw up its horrible
but its so disgusting because.. i dont even care about it anymore i find.. that its become a part of my daily routine?
tom. is new years and im suspose to visit my friends.. and ive gained probably 15 pounds - 25 in one week from christmas and being depressed
i dont know how im going to move back on my own
and i feel horrible about myself..
i have tried stopping so many times.. but i dont want to tell my mom or see a doctor? they will make me stop forever and eventually i will gain even more weight
even though i ate healthy for one whole week without purging.. and then gave up and ate the largest amount of food ive ever consumed and never did purge it..? because sometimes i dont even bother but other times i HAVE to.... probably because theres some type of event coming up that i have to look my best for... or im sick of feeling like a whale..
i just eat huge amounts of food and if one little thing goes wrong i say screw the shower and go to bed waking up 6-10 times at night of heartburn and an acidy feeling in my throat or wanting to throw up because i see my stomach looks like a pregnant womans..
i dont know what to do.. i dont want to talk to anybody
i just want to be thin and happy with my life
ive failed my entire grade 11 basically this semester
because i didnt care.. i was too busy eating and throwing it up and finding plans to move back
just it was a big mistake to ever become bulimic and i dont know how to get my life back on track.. i want to be home and with my caring friends.. and have good grades.. be alone.. and at the same time feel good about my image?
thanks to whoever had the time and patience to read my very long and somewhat confusing post...