Are you just having vaginal sex? Many women cannot orgasm this way. Does your husband give you oral sex? Are you comfortable with your sexuality? Are you too embarrassed to talk to your husband about what you'd like? Do you have any sexual abuse issues? Any medicine or drug use that could interfere? Are you comfortable masturbating?

I hope that we can help you figure this out!

only 10% of women can vaginally orgasm
many women dont get an orgasm during sex at all

i didn't have my first orgasm until two years after me and my husband starting dating. it rarely happened after that, but now that i am pregnant it does seem easier. is there much foreplay? this can be VERY important for the girl, especially stimulating the clit. good luck!

I think I'm very insecure. I feel like I suck at sex, and so I worry more about him getting something out of it than myself. I'm very shy about it all, and feel bad asking for much extra from him, but he does try to pleasure me.
Last night I did have him rub my clit while he was going in and out with his penis, and that seemed to do a lot. I think I was getting close to an orgasm, but I don't know. I was shaking a little and getting very warm, I wanted to crawl up a wall. I felt some build up, but no explosion or whatever. Does that sound crazy? Am I getting close to having the real deal?
By the way, thanks for the help.

sounds like you were almost there! the most frustrating thing for me was/sometimes is that i'll feel sooo close, and then it seems like the feeling goes away and i miss it! if your guy wants you to have pleasure too, then, trust me, he will not mind doing a little extra work!

I hope so. Thanks for the help, I didn't really know where else to go with this problem I originally joined ehealth for support with my uterine problem, but then I found this chat area and thought I'd throw it out there. This is helping a ton as I don't really have someone around that I'm comfortable enough to talk to about this.
I'm going to probably keep posting on here with issues I may have (I'm sort of naive with all this), if ya'll don't mind helping me out.
Thanks again.

Sure thing. That is why we are all here!

By the way have you ever tried giving yourself an orgasm? By masturbating?

It feels weird for me to masturbate, uncomfortable too. I've attempted it before, but it was just too odd for me.

I think once you get comfortable enough having an orgasm on your own, you may be able to "break the orgasm ice" with your husband.

And this might be ridiculous, but a couple glasses of wine might help loosen you up a little.

Welcome to the forum! Hope you stick around!

Ok this is based off of my experience. AND FOR EVERYONE. There is such a thing called the "G" spot or what you might be looking for to achieve that "orgasm" On youtube theres this fabulous lady who does video blogs and informs you on things that your curious about. Recently shes done things on the female menstrual cycle, the HPV virus, and the G Spot. To start, I don't think i'd recommend you masturbate if your husband is ever around. For my and my girlfriend she always tells me that, prior to us going out, when she masturbated, it was never the same as when i did it for her. Well, prior to sex, you gotta make sure theres foreplay, your husband should "loosen" and "set" the mood. If you havent already great way to do that is have your husband perform oral sex on you. As far as the G spot, when he is fingering you, tell him to curve his finger that he is using (some what like a hook). The G spot is located literally behind where the clitoris is. It feels like soft bumps. Thats the G Spot. You'll have to find it cause its different on most women. But yea, I think what your missing out on is the whole fore play part, and when your husband is close to climax, dont let him finish until your satisfied :]. I hope that helps out. AND! Music helps set the mood, I like listening to ATB haha... Cheers!

Oh yes one more thing about the lady on you tube. Look for [AMC] or Askmisscris. :] I had used the video about the female cycle to help differ if my girlfriend was going to be pregnant or not. God willing she won't :]

thanks for the suggestions everyone.
we'll see what happens.

Never heard of ATB before, but I'm looking it up on myspace....it's pretty good, I'm liking what I'm hearing, thanks!

I totally not even bother with the g-spot. Mine doesn't bring me pleasure. I am 100% Clitorally Lovin!!!

yes ATB is a german DJ. If you want a really nice chilled out and relaxed album, pick up his new one called Triology :] Its amazing, if you can go on you tube listen to "Renegade" and "Made of Glass" those are his two best. If you are into the electronica, house, trance, kind of music let me know I know a whole bunch.

Yeah I agree with Eiri, if you haven't had an O at all I certainly wouldn't start trying it out with the G spot. Most women I know don't have an O that way anyway. I get off literally every single time my husband and I have sex/fool around and it is all clitoral every time and more often than not it is all with the skills in his hands! I would wait to experiment other ways once you at least get the clitoral orgasm down because for most women that is all they get but trust me that is plenty. I suggest trying it yourself. Seriously I know it may be uncomfortable but if you can just get over that you may do wonders for yourself. Once you know how to O you may be able to relax enough so that your hubby can get you there too. I personally believe that being able to O yourself is essential to being able to let someone else get you off. It sounds like you were close, which is great, and good for your hubby for making it an important part of your sex life. Just remember it is all about the clitoral stimulation.

I will keep that in mind. Thanks for all the tips guys, you've been so helpful and enlightening.