Sexual Health - Women Forum

My wife is 28 y/o. We used to have a normal sex life and satisfy each other very much. We have been married for 2 years.
2 months ago i descovered that my wife has a sexual relation with another single woman. I know the other woman, she is 23, single and really very sexy woman. She lives alone.
My wife did not know that i discovered that thing.
They used to have sex while i am at work.
My wife has some changes in her behavior, some times i can hear her masturbating in the bathroom many times.
It really turns me on to think that my wife has sex with another sexy woman.
My question is : Should i talk to her or just keep it a secret ?

Replies(29)

Tylanas

replied on December 30th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

I think you should talk about it, but make sure to let her know up front that you don't have a problem with it and that you want to help satisfy her more since she clearly needs more sex than you're currently providing.

Georgia59

replied on December 30th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

I agree. If you're comfortable with it, tell her you'd like to be invovled.

However, is your wife a lesbian? I mean, it's perfectly fine for her to have sex with women and men, and this isn't a sign that she isn't attracted to or anything. But you'll want to be sure that she is attracted to you, know what I mean? Just be prepared for a honest open discussion with her about it.

nightangel73

replied on December 30th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

I can bet happyman is thinking now is that maybe he can get some of that other sexy woman too. That's probably what turns him on.

womaninpain

replied on December 30th, 2007

Experienced User

You should definitely talk to your woman, she might be experimenting or may have changed her orientation at this point, it's not uncommon for that to happen...

happyman

replied on December 31st, 2007

New User

It is not satisfaction issue. We have sex as much as we need. Each time we have sex he gets very satisfied and she has many orgasms each time.
We love each other very much.

What i realised is that her vagina became very sensitive and her nipples are erected most of the time.
Now she gets more orgasms during intercourse that before.
This is good for me.
But i don't know what makes her attracted to another women ? Is it normal ?

young Girl

replied on December 31st, 2007

Especially eHealthy

ummm
shes cheating on you?

have you thought about that? maybe she doesnt love you anymore? or is loosing intereste in being with you?

nightangel73

replied on December 31st, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

happyman wrote:

First of all if she is cheating you with another woman then she doesn't love you. I actually knew a guy who had a gf that eventually turned lesbian in the same fashion that your wife and she left him.

Second a vagina doesn't suddenly become more sensitive and nipples don't get erected all the time unless she is cold, when cold my nipples surely get erected. So this is a product of your vivid imagination.

Third in regards if you wife behavior is normal the answer is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. What makes her attracted to another woman? Well there is plenty of gays and lesbians here which you can ask here that can tell you what they find attractive with somebody of the same sex. I don't know because I don't like women. I only like men.

Tylanas

replied on December 31st, 2007

Especially eHealthy

How do you know she doesn't love him? Maybe she does, but another female provides something mentally and physically a male simply cannot.

His observations may indeed mean something: she could be on libido-enhancing drugs which would cause all of the above-listed symptoms. So it's not the result of his imagination at all. Heck, if his wife is feeling more sexual in general these things could be happening. I know if I'm not in the mood, my vagina is not as sensitive.

Thirdly, there is nothing unnatural about being bisexual or lesbian, and that's all I can tell you. That's all I dare say.

happyman

replied on January 1st, 2008

New User

Eiri, you are right, this is not imagination at all.

But tell me, what should i do if she asked me to let her girlfriend come up with us and join our sex relation.
I am expecting this because these days i can see that the girl visits us more than often and my wife asks me to sit with them and share the conevrsation.

What should i say ?

nightangel73

replied on January 1st, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

happyman wrote:

You tell her that you are not interested in an orgy.

nightangel73

replied on January 1st, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

Eiri wrote:

Thirdly, there is nothing unnatural about being bisexual or lesbian, and that's all I can tell you. That's all I dare say.

I know you don't like to hear it but it is very unnatural to be bisexual or lesbian. That is why most people are not. Yikes!!

Now you are right about the second, yes she could be well doing some kind of drugs.

meblonde01

replied on January 1st, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

People that have sex out side of marriage are unhappy with something in their relationship.. as mentioned she might need more sex then she is getting. But she is still being VERY dishonest and cheating.
People that have sex with others and both agree.. Most, eventually get divorced.

Tylanas

replied on January 1st, 2008

Especially eHealthy

happyman wrote:

Well, do YOU want to have sex with your wife and this other girl? If you're not comfortable, then just say no.

Mikolas

replied on January 1st, 2008

Active User, very eHealthy

Fo shizzle dizzle the_weirdgirlfriend. =P I find it funny how this turns him on (I guess it would for most guys at the thought of that rarely attainable fantasy of 2 girls 1 guy) and doesn't really recognize it as a Negative reason for being cheated on. I bet his head would turn the other way if she was cheating on him for a guy. He might end up feeling like Ross in Friend's when he lost his wife to another woman, even though he did achieve that 3some dream.

Georgia59

replied on January 1st, 2008

Especially eHealthy

Honestly, there is no way for us to know how this would work out. You need to talk to your wife and find out what's going on. Is she a lesbian? Is something lacking in your relationship? Does she simply want to add sex with a woman in to your relationship? If she does, and you're ok with that, go for it.

Talk to her openly and honestly, figure out what is motivating this, and how you feel about it.

young Girl

replied on January 1st, 2008

Especially eHealthy

lol the_wierdgirlfriend
ill remember that lol

fo

sho

Georgia59

replied on January 1st, 2008

Especially eHealthy

If you wish to debate homosexuality or bisexuality, please do so in the general debate forum. We just stick to the sex here.

Like I said before, talk to her and decide why she is with this other woman, how you feel about it (really) and what you want to do about it.

Oh- have you thought about STD's? Make sure that other woman is clean otherwise you're gonna get something!

If she is, and you're fine with it, tell your wife you'd love to have her along. Only if you're really fine with it.

jaynemae

replied on January 1st, 2008

Experienced User

well, i am married and would consider myself a heterosexual. but that does not mean that i have never thought of having sex with another woman. would i now, no. i am married to the man i have been with for almost 4 years. i would never risk anything to lose him. even if he said it was okay for me to experiment, i wouldn't do it. marriage is for two people...unless your an old fashioned mormon, i guess.

Strumphette

replied on January 2nd, 2008

Experienced User

jaynemae wrote:

BTW-Marriage is for 2 people in mormonism too. Mormons haven't practiced polygamy in ages. Don't believe all the negative things people say about mormons.

I think you should talk to your wife about your concerns, that's the only way the situation will get straitened out.

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