body image issues

I guess I'm just another case of a teenager with emotional issues, but in honest truth, I feel like I'm ad the end of my rope on what I'm supposed to do. I mean, I have body image issues, I'm trying to deal with my sexuality and otherwise having issues with the fact that I don't seem to have any luck in love at all.

So starting with myself, do I think I'm ugly? No. Fat? Maybe a little pudgy, but no. Short? I'd like to everyone else to be shorter (considering every guy I know around here magically breaks 6 foot) but I'm content being 5'8ish.

So with that, why would I be so upset about body image? In all honesty, it's because I've never once been personally complemented on how I look. Sure, people online have said it, but that never really compares to it being in person, no matter how honest and heart felt it may be. I mean, I'm glad I'm not called names about how I look or anything, but what am I supposed to do? I never feel like anyone is ever attracted to me, and any time I try to convince myself that I am attractive I feel like a run into a brick wall. It hurts so much for a reason I can't even fully explain, to the point where I just feel like crying. It's just so frustrating.

Even worse is that I can't talk to anyone about it, not even my own friends. Being a guy, I can't talk to other guys about it because they always seem so non-caring about the issue, otherwise saying its non existent and making a brash question about my sexuality (so what if I'm gay, this is a universal issue people) and girls don't help because... hell, I don't know why. Its like they avoid it always trying to pull out this "You're beautiful on the inside" stuff which I don't need because I already know that. Its the fact that others can't see it unless the look for it which is what makes it a problem.

My sexuality issues aren't even with the fact of worrying about what I am. I'm fine with the fact that I'm gay but I live in a place where I can't find anyone who shares the same preference, and few that are around are so flamboyantly provocative. I'm not looking for sex or being able to claim that I have a boyfriend. I just want love and companionship. I mean, is it really so much to ask that I have someone who's attracted to me? Someone who wants to be with me always? Someone I can actually confide in without having to put on this exterior of levelheadedness?

Maybe some of the issues I have are vain, but for so long having almost no kind of positive action in this area, what am I supposed to do? I'm in no way thinking of committing suicide or anything, but it just hurts so much that it tears at my heart and literally makes me feel sick. It really does feel like my hope is dying, because I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel.