Depression Forum - I Hurt So Much

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Q: I Hurt So Much

asked by: violetraindrops on December 30th, 2007

New User

I'm only 18 years old but i feel so lost and worthless all of the time. The thing is that while i'm at school i'm goofy,happy,and a big social butterfly but once school is finished for the day my spirits just drop and i wish that i was no longer living and then when i think about committing suicide i realize that nobody would give a damn if i was truly dead and it just hurts so much and my chest literally starts hurting and i'm supposed to be planning for college because i graduate this year and i just can't handle everything and i constantly feel like a failure and like i won't even have a chance at surviving in the real world and sometimes i just feel so numb and so fake because of the mask i wear at all times because i don't want people to think i'm weak or pity me or avoid me. I just don't know how to get rid of all of the pain..and i realize that i'm truly messed up in the head and whenever I try to talk to my mom about it she just blows me off and tells me to leave her alone..I'm just so scared and i try to constantly tell myself that it'll all be ok and that one day i'm going to be happy and someone will love me and i'll have a nice big family and everything...I just don't know how much longer i can wait

Replies(3)

young Girl

replied on December 30th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

ok well we have the foundation of the problem figured out
your fine when your at school and around people but when you go home is when you start to feel down right? has something traumatic happened while you were at home to make you feel this way? do you live alone or with family?

sounds like your mom isnt much of a help. you are calling out for it but shes not there to help you Sad

maybe you should talk to a school counselor?

impulser23

replied on December 30th, 2007

Supporter

Well my cousin is goin through the same thing you are. She hangs around a group of fake girls and she becomes one of them. She doesnt even know who she is anymore. She is looking for true love too. What i told her is what im gonna tell you. YOu cant find true love or happiness unless you realize who you are and what u want in life. You need to wake up in the morning and be able to realize that everyday is going to be a great day because everyday is precious. I rather live life happy then sad and depressed, how bout you? Sometimes u just need to change up ur surroundings. Im surrounded by people i care about and cares for me too and i mean we care for each other. Also u need to realize the important postive aspects of it. Ex: Your goin to college, alot of people will die to have a second chance to go to college and get an education. If you have a family, that is something u should be happy about too. Also if you still feel depressed its good to tell someone about ur problems. Most of the time is u bundle all the sadness inside and it just slowly builds up. Telling someone will allow u to let it all out.

violetraindrops

replied on December 30th, 2007

New User

the_girlfriend Its never really been peaceful at home just filled with drama and constantly listening to my mother put me down and threaten to kick me out of the house and the thing is i'm not a bad kid or anything i can be lazy and its mostly because i've stopped caring but thats just about it....and i don't think i'd ever feel comfortable talking to the school counselor but when its possible i will try to seek professional help

impulser23 I really do try to surround myself with positive people and in the past i did exactly what your cousin is doing i hung around with a lot of fake people and i started acting exactly like them and the thing about college is i'm not so sure if i'm actually going to be going to anyone's college i just hope i get accepted by one of the ones i applied to and if not off to the navy i go and your absolutely right i do bundle everything up inside its just i haven't been able to find someone to confide in or anyone to trust with my emotions..and i'm afraid if i do i'm just going to be overwhelmed with getting everything out of my system and i'll have an emotional breakdown

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