disappointed by husband

may be as u said its small problem to some people but i feel the same feeling when some thing like that happen with me . i feel it when my fiance buy some stuff on our new apartment i feel its no need for it and he said the same to me that i not have the right to argue with him with direct way but in the end he said it to me with nice way i first i feel its big problem but after time i try to forget it cause i try to make my self busy with another thing and forget that one and the life go on so try to dont bother ur self and he already buy it so u cant change it so no need to tired ur self with argue with him

i think it is important in a relationship to consider each other in all matters,however, sometimes you have to know when to give some space to the ones you love. At times i smother my husband because i expect so much of him and alot of the time, i find myself disappointed. I think we need to step back a little and try harder . It depends on if your husband does this all the time, never considering you for when a decision needs to be made. you have to write down the pro and cons- see what is really bothering you. Maybe it's a good thing, that he takes the time to care for your new car- if it is new why does it need new tires and a rim? well maybe he is so happy because maybe both of you finally could afford that car he wanted so much. Be happy together-don't get mad, make the point to talk about making decisions togethor on the big things...that you will let this one slide , with a smile or joke- don't harbor on the small things-pick your battles- learn to forgive and know women are a whole lot stronger than men - so just move on - and tell him you still love him.

i would be MAD
thats both of your money
he definatley should have confided in you about it first

im so sorry tini

i totally agree with you. its one thing to go out and have fun and spend some money. but when its a big decison like rims and tires for a car that is group decision right there. i would definately be mad if my boyfriend did something crazy like that.

Thanks guys, I know it may be a small matter to him it's nothing to be fuss about but as for me whatever I do I consider the other party feeling, blessings and opinion - that's what it call respect and courtesy to each other no doubt he didn't do it often but when he do it it concern the whole family like the other time when he became a gurantor to any Tom , Dick or Harry the guy ran and he got to pay more than S$ 30K. Money to me is just a number but what important is trust once you break it you have a very difficult task to mend it.

Number One Most Important Relationship Rule:

Separate Bank Accounts.

This immediately eliminates all potential arguments over who is doing what with who's money.

birch has a great idea lol
i would NEVER be able to share an acct with travis
wed go insane

Hahahaha me too but here we do need an account together for some transaction like housing, utility bills etc however I do have an account a personal one I mean and I know that he have not one but a few with money that he can't withdraw (his mom kept it since birth)

I have separate accounts but my husband buys big items anyway because he figures I'll pick up the slack. His most recent purchase: a new 2009 car for his mom...20,000. I am livid. He says he'll handle the payment but it still doesn't balance out...men are idiots but I feel like the bigger fool for putting up with his butt.

i think if you are a couple then you should discuss these things together because even if you do have separate accounts you are still living together..i mean what would your husband say if u went out and booked a holiday for you and your female friends do you think he would say ok honey have a nice 2 weeks love you! No he would go mad at you so its the same thing hun..Jenny

i agree with wolf, marriage should be a team to make things easier on each other, i totally understand where your coming from because that happened to me when i first got with my husband. i was always dissapointed and feeling way out of the relationship but with some talking me and my husband learned more of each other and talked about what was making us unhappy. one of mine was his decision making with out consultating with me, after he told me his reasons for not telling me i noticed it wasnt that he was trying to be mean or go behind my back, its just that men have a totally different way of seeing things and we get sad and blue really quick when we think our man is excluting us. my recommendation is to talk to ur husband, approach him calmlly and try not to argue because it will only make things worst. try to talk and listen to each other and make compromises, at the end of the day this is the person you chose to live with and spend the rest of your life with and be happy. so talk and talk, good luck

the best cure would be for you to each have your own money, do away with the credit cards and what not and use cash.