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Q: disappointed by husband
asked by: Hart74 on December 29th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
Have anyone feel dissapointed before? I have I found out that my husband bought a new set of tyres and rims for his brand new car which he claims to be ours. I don't car much about the value of the money but I felt dissapointed that he have to do it sneakily behind my back - I only found out about it when I checked our bank account. I felt left out, I'm the last one to know, I got no one to talk to about it except here. He said that I got no right to argue about it since I bought a lot of stuff, I said I did that with his permission and knowleadge. It might look like a small problems to anyone else but to me it's a big one, he doesn't include in as his other half.
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misssemsem
replied on December 29th, 2007
Experienced User
I Really Feel What U Feel Now
may be as u said its small problem to some people but i feel the same feeling when some thing like that happen with me . i feel it when my fiance buy some stuff on our new apartment i feel its no need for it and he said the same to me that i not have the right to argue with him with direct way but in the end he said it to me with nice way i first i feel its big problem but after time i try to forget it cause i try to make my self busy with another thing and forget that one and the life go on so try to dont bother ur self and he already buy it so u cant change it so no need to tired ur self with argue with him
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bitzy
replied on December 29th, 2007
New User
i think it is important in a relationship to consider each other in all matters,however, sometimes you have to know when to give some space to the ones you love. At times i smother my husband because i expect so much of him and alot of the time, i find myself disappointed. I think we need to step back a little and try harder . It depends on if your husband does this all the time, never considering you for when a decision needs to be made. you have to write down the pro and cons- see what is really bothering you. Maybe it's a good thing, that he takes the time to care for your new car- if it is new why does it need new tires and a rim? well maybe he is so happy because maybe both of you finally could afford that car he wanted so much. Be happy together-don't get mad, make the point to talk about making decisions togethor on the big things...that you will let this one slide , with a smile or joke- don't harbor on the small things-pick your battles- learn to forgive and know women are a whole lot stronger than men - so just move on - and tell him you still love him.
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young Girl
replied on December 29th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
i would be MAD
thats both of your money
he definatley should have confided in you about it first Sad

im so sorry tini
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rose_liz
replied on December 29th, 2007
New User
i totally agree with you. its one thing to go out and have fun and spend some money. but when its a big decison like rims and tires for a car that is group decision right there. i would definately be mad if my boyfriend did something crazy like that.
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Hart74
replied on December 30th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
Thanks guys, I know it may be a small matter to him it's nothing to be fuss about but as for me whatever I do I consider the other party feeling, blessings and opinion - that's what it call respect and courtesy to each other no doubt he didn't do it often but when he do it it concern the whole family like the other time when he became a gurantor to any Tom , Dick or Harry the guy ran and he got to pay more than S$ 30K. Money to me is just a number but what important is trust once you break it you have a very difficult task to mend it.
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Birch
replied on December 31st, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Number One Most Important Relationship Rule:

Separate Bank Accounts.

This immediately eliminates all potential arguments over who is doing what with who's money.
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Hart74
replied on December 31st, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
Birch wrote:
Number One Most Important Relationship Rule:

Separate Bank Accounts.

This immediately eliminates all potential arguments over who is doing what with who's money.



Thanks Birch I'll keep that in mind.
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young Girl
replied on December 31st, 2007
Especially eHealthy
birch has a great idea lol
i would NEVER be able to share an acct with travis
wed go insane
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Hart74
replied on December 31st, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
Hahahaha me too but here we do need an account together for some transaction like housing, utility bills etc however I do have an account a personal one I mean and I know that he have not one but a few with money that he can't withdraw (his mom kept it since birth)
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