Hello im 14 years old and in desperate need for some advice i dont know whats happening to me and i really scared i might be developing schizo. For 2 years now ive only had 2 close friends i hung out with outside of school besides some others i talk with in school. I used to have some other friends but they had stopped hanging out with me because they thought i was uncool so they started teasing me.. my best friend since fourth grade stopped hanging out with me because of one comment a girl a girl had said about he might become cooler if he stopped hanging out with me
So because of that one comment he never spoke to me unless it was to insult me. since then ive had only 2 friends. It was pretty okay until i started school this year. In the beginning of september my sisters boyfriend came over and pressured me into doing weed. So i did it and felt completely horrible i thought i was going to die. This was the first and only time i had taken drugs. A month later i had began feeling really strange like i wasnt connected to myself all day. At night as i was trying to go to bed i felt the same way as i did when i was high it wasnt as bad but when i walked i felt like everything was in slow motion and the feeling of not being connected to myself had increased alot. Not only this but my mouth was very dry.
I thought this was something like a withdrawl symptom but i didnt know how that couldve been possible since i only used the drug once. The next day i told my mom and she took me to the hospital however they couldnt see anything that was wrong except high blood pressure. I still felt the feelings of being disconnected from the world. The next day i went to the doctor and he acted as if i was just some kid looking for attention. SO from then on i never said a thing about what was going on. And it seems from then on i was alone. The feelings continued some nights the same thing would happen feelins of being in slow motion dry mouth etc.
But one night it changed. I was laying in my bed for awhile my sister was playing music but then she stopped it, however it kept playing in my head. It was scary my heart was pounding when i closed my eyes all these weird thoughts were racing through my head. Like flashes. One of them i remember was a face something like zombie. i didnt see them while my eyes were open though but my vision was distorted. The only way i had gotten myself to fall asleep was by trying to relax my breathing and thinking of a nice song.
I had thought i was being possesed my a demon for alil because the songs seemed to almost speak to me like id hear little line of different songs i dont remember the songs i was hearing but it would be something like id hear the lyrics "How could this happen to me" from simple plan. The weird thing was i was only in this state when i was laying down it disappeared as i sat up.
Through october and november things kept getting worse days seemed to move by so quickly id look at the clock and it would already be time for bed it was scary. Like i was couldnt even enjoy the day where i felt kinda normal. But by then throughtout the day my concentration would suck my memory of the day was like that of a dream (strangely throughtout this i had began to remember more of my dreams which before i couldnt) also i began seeing like flashes in the corner of my eyes it was scary and sometimes when im turning my head things would look different like they would be morphed into something scary like a monster but then id look at it and it would be a coat or something sometimes my nightly symptoms would only happen one time one i remember is when my brother woke me around 3 am i tried to go back to sleep but some weird things happened it would be like i was dreaming but it was realer like it actually happened... i cant explain it so well so i dont even think im gonna try also what was even scarier for a few seconds i was like paralyzed im not sure if this mightve been a dream or not but its never happened again.
Since then i thought i was developing anxiety and depersonality disorder which most of you would probably agree but now my symptoms are getting freakier for the past few days when im at the computer ill hear someone whisper my name its really scary. And last night when i was trying to sleep i had gotten that feeling again where my head was pounding and my mind was racing with all these thoughts i couldnt control and when i opened my eyes for a split second i saw my brother sitting on the couch and few minutes later when i looked at the lamo my friends face popped up out of nowhere and disappeared. sorry if im not descriptive enough and theres some things i forgot to put but i think ive gotten enough in. Ive tried to tell my guidance counselor when he was talking to me about my grades which have been horrrible this year because of my bad concentration and memory but the words wouldnt come out so i jsut sat there and nodded as he talked like an fool. i heard the voice whisper my name alil while ago which is why i forced myself to write all this its like a lil echoey whisper please someone please tell me they know what im going through.