Can Never Think of a Good Title So...

does anyone know if its possible to give your self split personalities by accident when your trying to cope with being depressed all the time?

i mean ,like, i made myself get back my social life and stop being a sad hermit all the time, but when i go out with ppl i have to forget about all the times when i wished i was dead, cut myself, called myself names, ect. i have to distant myself from those thoughts so i can function normally in public.

but now its like theres the one side of me when im alone who wants to die, is full of self hate, and knows the future is so hopeless...

but the other side, my public side, who is funny, loves to have fun, has a more-or-less girlfriend, the kinda guy who everyone invites to smoke a joint and all the girls hug...

i used to seperate the two, but now they conflict. like tonite i was out with a few ppl, i had no money but my friends as always gave me some of there liquor, and i was having a good time... then the othe me came out for no reason and i had to have an inner battle with myself to not bring out that sad and angry guy whos inside of me... it was like the forces of good and evil were having a katana duel inside my head...

but yah, i have a chemical imbalance, and lots of phukked up issues, so im worried that my brain will eventually seperate the two opposite personalities and ill become the guy from that jim carrey movie...

of course right now im totally fine, im just a guy who is really conflicted and confused, but im just curious if this could lead to something...