The only advice I can really give you is to just be honest. Make a list of your concerns and feelings, and a list of things that are within his (and your) power to control and change. If you have a list, then you won't forget things in the heat of the moment.

Don't worry about coming off like a psycho jealous girlfriend. You wouldn't be jealous if you didn't care about him - this is a way for him to realize exactly how much he means to you, and how his actions impact your feelings. Nobody's perfect - we all have flaws, and the fact that you're insecure happens to be one of yours. And it's perfectly okay.

I'm not going to give you a list of things to say to get your way, because I really do believe that the truth is the perfect place to start. Just think on how you're feeling for a bit, try to put it into rational words on paper, and present him with it in a calm discussion. I don't think the conversation should be about how to get your way, but rather how to make you feel more comfortable and secure in your relationship with him without him feeling like he's tied on a leash. You need security, he needs freedom, and neither sides should withhold information (such as where he spent his lunch break and with whom) for the sake of preserving feelings.

Honesty is a beautiful thing, and a relationship can't survive without it. Trust it and use it.

First of all, YOU ARE NOT UGLY!!! Far from it! That said, you are also not being a "nazi girlfriend". You're being human. Of course you don't want him hanging out with a girl he has a past with, especially if it isn't completely in the past to her. As far as what to say to him? I don't know, I'm sorry. If I come up with anything I will let you know. I hope your sister can help you out, or someone on here. Please don't be down on yourself like that. You are a wonderful person that works sooo hard, and does an amazing job with her daughter. I applaud you.

b*tch slap that ho and tell her to stay away from your piece of pie! lol ok no really i would b pissed too, especially with her clear disregard for anyone but herself, even if u were just a customer she should have respected that you were talking to an employee and waited but obviously its all about her. I would have to ask him how he feels about her, if he just wants to be friendly (like on speaking terms to keep it from being akward) or what? I dont think you have anything to worry about since he is living with you and basically being a daddy to Rowan he obviously loves yall. Maybe he feels threatened that Eric is coming back. yall need to have a conversation that helps both of you feel like everything is safe and fine.

I would be upset for sure. I don't think you are over reacting at all. However there may be absolutely nothing going on and you are letting your mind wander too much.
I agree with Laura. Be honest with how you are feeling with him. Try to talk to him without accusing. Own how you feel and why..(when I saw you with her today it made me feel_____, because I care about you. I'm sure you will do a great job wording it. You are wonderful with words.

Maybe he does feel threatened about your ex. Guys are strange sometimes.

If he loves you he will accept you for who you are. She's an ex for a reason.

YOU are beautiful Tanya!

I would be upset but I would also try to give Nathan more reason to want to be with me than her. Believe me, you are gorgeous and I know he wants to be with you. He would be crazy to not want to. He may just be wanting to get some more closure. Right before Dan proposed to me he called up his ex so that he could get some closure. They talked for about 4 hours and I think that it really helped him get over her.

I know that it can be hard but I think that it is probably innocent on Nathan's part. Guys are so stupid sometimes. He may not even realize how much she still likes him. Guys.... So oblivious they are.

I would be upset about that too. I agree with the advice the other ladies have given. I hope things work out and he completely understands and respects how you feel.

i would be inferiorated
expecially if he didnt tell me. your not stupid tanya. dont let him play you like a fool
i agree with dani LOL


oh and fyi your not fat your freaking georgeous
even travis said so LOL

Tanya, you have every right to be upset. He may have been trying to spare your feelings by not telling you about her. Either way it's definitely not right. If I was you I would just ask him about it in a non-threatening way. Has he even called you to explain or anything? You are not fat or ugly. You are a beautiful person on the inside and out. You deserve nothing but the best.

You know how I am.. I would be freaking out!! I miss talking to you... I am seriously going to get Jon to download messenger when we get home tonight. We are at Evelyn's right now.

Thank you for the replies, you guys gave good advice.

I do know for sure that Nathan loves me and Rowan very much.

I know that Nathan knows me well enough to know that I would want to be informed of such situations. In fact, let me back up a bit...

Nathan left his facebook open on the computer a couple of night ago. I'm really nosey so I clicked on his messages. I read messages between him and said girl from earlier this month. He just wished her a happy birthday, told her about his life lately (working two jobs, being busy, etc...no mention of having a girlfriend, or living with me). He told her they should get together when she's back in town. She is gone for school. She wrote back agreeing, and filling him in about her life.

I knew that there was a potential for them seeing each other once she was in town. So I gave him a chance to talk about it. I brought up that an ex boyfriend had emailed me, and asked if I wanted to get together some time to "catch up". I told him I wouldn't want to do anything to make him feel bad, so I thought I would bring it up to him first. I said that more important then remaining friends with an ex was being considerate of his feelings. He told me that he would be fine with that scenario. He said nothing about his ex. The point is I started that conversation to give him the perfect opportunity to bring up his ex and him planning to hang out, where I could tell him how I felt about it all. I even said in that conversation "if the situation was reversed I know I'd want you to tell me too, so I'm telling you". I did all this acting like I didn't already know, and he said NOTHING. He obviously knew because of that what I would prefer, and chances are I would have been cool with it, if he had just freaken acted like it was no big deal.

I'm not okay with it because he didn't tell me after knowing I would rather know, and that makes me feel like he has something to hide.

At first I thought I was being stupid, and that I could have said "hi" to her, and kissed him and said bye to him and that I love him in front of her, that would have been the smart thing. Now I realize anyone would be upset if their boyfriend was getting secret visits from their ex at work. I don't feel like talking to him at all, for a couple of days.

I just think I'll hang out at my moms, and when he attempts to talk to me I'll just say that that is not how it's going to work with me. That he needs to be considerate and let me know about these things.

I knew he was going to get together with her, I figure he'd wait until the day of to let me know, not that I'd just walk in to his work to see it happening. I still trusted that he was going to tell me eventually.

He called an hour after work. He just said "I know why you're upset" and "I see you don't want to talk, call me later if you do want to talk to me".

That is it.




He's such a good guy. I have so little to complain about. I just don't want to even give him the chance to do something that could really hurt me. I think well this isn't so bad, but should I stick around till something really hurtfull happens?

I know it's completely over reacting but it makes me feel like I want to break up with him. And if something like this could ruin a good relationship for me then I really have no hope for ever having a stable relationship. I just don't feel like even opening myself up to more disappointment.

I don't know. Leaving him because of this is stupid, but it's not like I would be leaving just because of her. I'd be leaving because I don't feel like I can afford to chance a heartbreak. It will drive me crazy if it happens, so why not just avoid it all together.

I've actually been talking to someone I know, who has been a good friend for years and years, about moving out to Calgary. If I was to leave I would just pack me and Rowan up and leave without telling anyone.

I guess me not going home to have to see and talk to him also gave him to perfect chance to spend more time with her today, if he wanted to.

Which isn't a good thought, but I'm pretty sure that is what happened because he hasn't tried calling at all after that once, and he hasn't been on msn, or really tried talking to me at all.


Samantha, I miss talking to you so much. I could really go for some of it right now. You need messenger, please please.

Why can't I stop typing up novels!

I know you're afraid of being hurt, but there's no such thing as a risk-free relationship. It's hard, takes lots of work and patience from both people, and above all... it takes more strength to stay and work at things than it does to walk away when things get hard.

I know how you feel about trusting him, and needing him to trust you. I know you deserve to be told the absolute truth. But this is exactly why, instead of staying at your mother's for a few days, you should go home and talk this out face-to-face with him. Sit him down, make him listen to you, and even if he might know "why you're upset", I'm sure he only knows maybe 40% of the actual reason. He's basically doomed to repeat it again because he'll have no clue. (Yes, boys really are that stupid and blind.)

Call him and let him know you're willing to talk things out if he is. Don't accept an apology from him until he's heard you out, because I promise he doesn't understand the scope of things.

This is one of the major reasons that Tommy & I broke up, because when I made a mistake, he'd stop talking to me for days. (most times they were big mistakes, but it still didn't help the problem, it made it worse.)

You have every right in the WORLD to be upset, but I know you love him & as much as you don't want to, I think you should take the time to call him and or see him and talk it out to make yourself feel better.

Good luck tanya, I love you and I'm sorry he hurt you

I'd be super pissed... its disrespectful to be seeing her in the first place, but to not tell you? Makes it waayyyy worse.
We expect the same out of our significant others that they should expect out of us... we are supposed to be considerate of each other and think about how certain things will make them feel.
I'd definitely talk to him about it.. If Rob did something like that to me I don't know what i would do.. just thinking about it makes me uneasy..

You deserve respect Tanya.. you cant allow somebody to hide things from you.. obviously he knew it would upset you thats why he hid it.. which means he knows he was doing something wrong.

We arent 5 anymore.. he needs to act his age and not his shoe size. I know hes a good guy... he makes you happy.. he just needs to learn about respect.. you know?

Terra I know it drove you crazy when Tommy didn't talk to you, but he obviously doesn't care that I'm not talking to him (and I really wish it would upset him!). If he was trying to talk to me I'd act willing to talk and solve things, but he's not even trying.

My speculations is that he is spending his day with her.

And Laura I know boys might be stupid, but I also KNOW Nathan knows I'm really super sensitive when it comes to his ex's. I know he knows not telling me wasn't the right thing to do. I just don't feel like it was a simple mistake on his part.

I feel like he knew what he was doing would have been the wrong thing to do in my eyes, that I would have wanted him to tell me.

I guess when I talk to him that would be the first thing I bring up. I will ask him if he thinks that I would have wanted to be told in advance.

I think mayb I will just tell him we're taking a break. I really don't have the energy for anything in my life that isn't 100 percent positive, and if a relationship with Nathan is going to contribute to me feeling badly then I don't want to be doing it.

I know if I did things the way Laura and everyone is advising to would help make this better, and help make us know how to do the things the other one needs, but I'm not willing to do that just yet.

I want to be mad for a while because I'm really disappointed in him, and if I went to try to make things right any time soon it wouldn't be sincere because I don't feel that way yet. I just feel angry and spiteful right now.

im so sorry
i can tell you this tanya- ytravis has done thins
infact on my birthday that night i fell asleep on the bed and he secretly got on his myspace and added and msgsd hid psyco ex bf who still liked him and infact called him and invited him to a party with her after she KNEW we were together she still continuosly called and stuff. and he would talk to her
but i didnt care because i trusted him so i just let it go

well anyways so i fell asleep and god knows how long he was on myspace but i woke up because i herd the tv still on. and i was behind him on the bed. he didnt know i woke up i guess. but i saw him press the send friend request button to annie and then msg her. on my birthday
it hurt me SO bad because of the fact that it was my BIRTHDAY

i was so upset i started crying and he turned around. i asked him what and he acted like it wasnt a big deal. i rolled over and cried and he was like"ok fine ill sleep on the couch"
i told him he was ruining my birthday and he got mad.
the rest is history

point is you have the right to be upset huney. if travis would have saw annie then i would have nbroken up with him. expecially if he went behind my back to do it. infact one time annie called his cell and i picked it up. i told her really nicely to not call anymore (this was after all that myspace BS) sot hen she said "omg suzy he came to my work (thats how they met at a pizza place) and he was wearing his brown volcom hat (the one i bought him last x mas )
so i was FUMED
i asked him about it. he lied and said he didnt see her. but i knew he did. she told me exactly what he was wearing,everything. down to the T. so i told him to talk to her and figure out why she was "lieing" (i knew HE WAS lying) and he wouldnt talk to her. so i basically knew he got caught and he didnt want to admit it. i broke up with him (this was back in...april? so i was preg but didnt know it yet) and i tried to leave.
well me and him got into a huge yelling match about how i "dont trust him blah blha whatever" i was hurt. and he knew that. it freaked him out that i broke up with him and i guess he didnt know any other way to handle it than get mad? so soon the yelling got louder and louder. i called my mom and told her how i wanted her to come get me...and i told her what was happening. in the meantime we were still screaming at each other, my mom got scared so she called the cops. cops showed up...

anyways i didnt end up leaving. we talked and i let it go. i knew what the truth was. he did see her. but the point was that i loved him and i dont want to be a jelous person.
since then i hope he hasnt ever gone behind my back to see or make the effort to talk to her again. if he has and i ever find out- it will be over. because he knows how much it hurt me the first time


anyways theres my novel lol
sorry

and i wrote all that with one hand

I would have confronted them both right there in the store >.> but i'm evil like that. Right now it's alot of assuming on your part. Boys really are stupid, he may honestly think you're blowing off steam from seeing her there, and wanting to be with your sister instead. They really are that dumb O.o. Call him and tell him how you feel, atleast then you'll have a direction to go in.

Tanya, I don't know you or your situation, but I understand jealousy and I understand how you must have felt...ugh, that makes me mad! Not that this makes it any better, but at least you didn't have to see him kissing her or finding suspicious MySpace messages...now you have the chance to confront him, and if his story isn't legit, he's not worth the jealousy.
Be strong!
- Lily