Girl walked into an elevator, followed by a guy. Guy looks over at her and says, "Can I smell your vagina?" Girl, obviously offended, yells, "NO!" Guys says, "Oh, it must be your feet"

Thanks for replying. I'm a little down right now (obviously, lol). How is your night?

lol
eww


whats wrong rebecca?

hey it's a joke and my mom got a kick out of it. Couldn't come up with anymore off the top of my head... but the ones that do are really perverted

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head went camping, the blonde decided that she had to pee... so the other two decided to play a joke on her. They went and skinned a rabbit and pulled out its intestines (sp?) and sat them behind her, ten minutes later they heard her scream, and a few minutes later she came back and said "man, I pushed so hard I sh*t out my intestines, but by the grace of god I was able to shove them back in!"

I don't know if I told it right, my 12 year old cousin told me that lol

lol yeah ive got one

kinda long
here it goes

ok so a women is pregnant with triplets. she gets shot 3 times in the stomach. she goes to the dr and the dr says your babies will live but when each one of them turns 10 yrs old they will caca out a bullet
so ten years and 2 girls one boy later....

the first girl comes in the rom and says "MOMMY MOMMY! youll never believe what just happened!"
and the mom says "oh lemme guess u caca out a bullet?''
the daughter says "YEAH! howd you know mom?!"
and the mom tells her "because im majic"

so a few minutes later the 2nd girl runs in " MOMMY MOMMMY you wont BELIIIEEEEVE what just happened!!!!!"
the mother again says "let me guess...hmm you caca out a bullet?!"
"yes mom how did you know!!!!!"
"oh its because im psycic"
so a few minutes later the little boy runs in screaming

"MOM MOM you wont BELIEVE what just HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!!"
and the mom says" umm lemme guess you caca out a bullet?"

"no mom. i was jacking off and i shot the dog!"

oh great, I started a gross joke telling thread... *gag*

LOL caca

its shiet
not caca

stuoid filters

Yeah, that's kind of the face I made. lol.

It's a long story. But, basically I have 5 grown sisters, and 4 of them treat me and my mom like crap. We have been nothing but loving and forgiving (and man have they tested how many times we can forgive) and they repay it with hate and abuse. I'm not trying to sound holier than thou about the forgiveness, because no one can forgive what they've put us through without A LOT of help from God. But, my mom and I live alone in an apartment, my mom is disabled and in NON STOP pain............. and they couldn't do as little as pick up a phone and call us? I hate watching my mom get hurt so much. She put her whole life into them. She's an amazing mother, I should know. I couldn't even put into words what my family has put us through. It's unspeakable and unbelievable. It's been so painful, but we love them any way, and do they care? Nope!
I will say that my oldest sister did call and doesn't act like the others. But, she lives in TX and I live in FL. All of the others live within like. 45 minutes of us.
Don't get me wrong I had a great day with my mom. But, it still hurts for both of us. I know there is a reason and a purpose. But, getting to the other side of all this hasn't been easy. I better stop before I write a book. lol.

And thanks for asking, Suzy!

oh my gosh! im so sorry hun!!!!! thats terrible! tell your mom that I said merry christmas to her
i know how you feel. i was in a similar situation today. travis grandpa got to get out of the nursing home for a few hours today and come home. his b(&*&*^ wife (who ONLY married him for his money because hes got alot of it. ugh she makes me mad lol) wont pay a few hundred bucks for a nurse to come help him through the day (change him and tuff since he cant do it alone) so shes too cheap to spend a little money on getting him a nurse. this woman has it MADE. shes got tons of money and shes bitter as heck. she married travis grandpa and then put him in a nursing home because shed rather blow all his monay and party than take care of him.

so all day today she complained and made TRAVIS AND HIS DAD change his granpas pants and everyhting then she told me and travis mom to go outside (in the cold and wind) while they chaged him beacuse she didnt want us to "see it"

omyfreaking gawd come on!

ugh
people make me mad

sorry lol i just had to get this out

atleast your mom has one awsome daughetr that loves her and takes care of her like you do

Aww, thank you!!




What is wrong with people!? That is horrible! That poor man. I will be praying for him. No one deserves to be treated like that. I'm glad he had people that care about him like you and travis and his dad. How was your day otherwise?

I also wanted to add that you made me feel a lot better. Thank you!

yeah its pretty sad to see him like that
travis dad even had to go buy a potato for him because he wanted a baked potato and she wouldnt make him or get him one.

my day otherwise was awsome
i didnt get to see my mom or anything but i talked to them
im going to go see her sometime this week

It's so sad how people are these days. You run into nasty and selfish people everywhere. I'm so grateful for my extremely small group of people that I trust and can count on.

I'm so glad you are going to see your mom! Will you get to see Barbara too?

yep! i got to see her on the 21st me and travis went to my dads. it was cool. she looks different lol
but i called my mom and dad today and talked to them which was nice

Aww, good! I hope you have a great time! I'm off to bed, but I will be on in the morning. Thanks for the company!!