I'm sorry you feel this way, it's never good, phsically or emotionally. Keep a strong mind about it. Instead of always saying negative things, say positive things. It's amazing how the mind works, and I understand it's hard, I've had history of depression and it's hard to keep positive thoughts. Mind over Matter honey.
you don't have to weigh yourself, and of course tell doc not to tell you. when you look in the mirror, say "oh look, that's ALL baby!" I do the same thing and I KNOW it's not all baby, lol. again with the mind over matter. I hope you feel better and remember, you look good not matter what size! (you should see some of the people I've seen *shutters* yucky) usually anyone under 200 lbs seems skinny to me