here it goes again.
my heart hurts. i think maybe ive been haveing panic attacks. it happens when im alone most of the time folding laundry or awke in the middle of the night when the baby wakes up. my breatheing gets really fast and my chest tightens up and my heart starts to hurt and i just cry. i think about my fmily and it triggers this to happen.
last night i was thinking about christmas and how things used to be and how different they are now nd i started to hyperventalate almost and i had to calm myself down because i didnt want travis to see i was getting upset. i dont like it when he sees me getting sad or mad or missing my family. i dont know why. maybe because we fight about it so much?
i lopve this time of year and i love christmas
but god why am i so sad? whats wrong with me?