Is the Future Bleak Or Bright? Posted: 12-23-07 22:24pm
Hi everyone; I'm way new to this whole
Schizophrenia thing, I'm hoping at least
one person can read what I expect to be
pretty much a novel and perhaps try to
help out because this is a pretty hard
time.
For around a year and a half, I was in a
very serious relationship with a boy;
despite the length of our time together,
we had even been talking about marriage.
He had mentioned previously that he had
had Schizophrenia when he was younger
(diagnosed some time between twelve and
fifteen, I'd say; never got the exact
date), but because he shrugged it off and
I didn't understand much about it, I
shrugged as well.
Progressively, our relationship started to
completely deteriorate to the point where
I knew something was wrong, but couldn't
quite put my finger on it. We'd get in
fights where I'd be so frustrated with his
arguments (that absolutely made no sense
at all, mind you) that he'd claim that I
was Bi-Polar and that I needed to see a
doctor.
Fast-forward to a bit over a month ago,
where we completely fell apart. It ended
in a short phone conversation in which I
said I wanted to go on a break and he
completely shrugged me off about the whole
thing. I resolved to never talk to him
again, even, didn't even call him to tell
him the break was permanent because I knew
he'd twist it around. During the month
while we were apart, I heard a lot of
things he was saying about me, and for the
sake of anyone reading, I'm not going to
repeat the words he called me. Suffice it
to say that they were pretty cruel.
Since then, we became reunited after a
drunken phone call he made to me, telling
me that he's never been this much of a
mess in his life. Three days later, he
contacted me to tell me that he realized
that he still had the problem that he
thought he had "overcome." Hebephrenic
Schizophrenia. It's funny that the moment
he told me that and I googled it, I might
as well have seen his name in 18,200
sources.
We've slowly become more close through
this past week; I'm helping him stay on
track and he's seeing a therapist twice a
week as well as taking Haloperidol. He
continues to tell me that I'm the only one
for him because I was the one that refused
to let him screw everything up. When I
left him, he realized that the problem was
him, not everyone else.
Part of me really understands that he
couldn't help all of the thing he did, and
although I'll never forget the things he
did, I almost forgive him. I hate to say
this, but I love him still. He tells me
that it's a lifetime of difficulties and
an unfixable, yet manageable disease, and
I want to be there for him. He has no
problem with this; he's been begging me
for over a week now but I told him that I
need time. A lot of time; to think about
the situation. At least six months, I
said (I'm not sure if that's long or not,
it just seemed reasonable). Most of my
friends don't agree with my thoughts of
getting back together with him, but I
can't help but think that this can be
managed. He's such a wonderful and great
guy when he's not under the influence of
that disease.
He's got what seems like unending
willpower to battle this; is there any
hope for us?
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Philo
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2007 Posts: 331 Location: Montreal
Thanks: 4
Thanked:0
Posted: 12-24-07 19:33pm
No one here will predict the future for
you. If you are currently happy, stick
with him and see what happens. It's not
like you're getting married tommorow,
right?
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irChris777
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Dec 2007 Posts: 23
Posted: 12-25-07 13:12pm
dont mess with him anymore trust me youll
regret it if you have a kid with this dude
or something and have to deal with him the
rest of your life. dont have false guilt
about not wanting to be with someone that
says things like that about you then gets
drunk and loves you all the sudden. and
the "love" you feel for him youll feel for
the next hot guy that walks through the
door tomorrow- its a fleeting selfish
infatuation.
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stacia
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2007 Posts: 5
Posted: 01-22-08 00:07am
irChris777
wrote:
dont mess with him anymore
trust me youll regret it if you have a kid
with this dude or something and have to
deal with him the rest of your life. dont
have false guilt about not wanting to be
with someone that says things like that
about you then gets drunk and loves you
all the sudden. and the "love" you feel
for him youll feel for the next hot guy
that walks through the door tomorrow- its
a fleeting selfish
infatuation.
I think it's kind of obnoxious that you
actually just said that, it's a shame I
didn't see it until now. In the entire
time I've known this kid he only drank
during the month that we were separated.
It's kind of odd that you're telling me to
not mess with him anymore because you
state in other posts that you've suffered
from Schizophrenia. Why don't you have
compassion for people that are like you?
There's no false guilt here. I could walk
away any second if I didn't love this guy
and didn't want to spend the rest of my
life with him regardless of his mental
disposition. Leaving to find "the next
hot guy that walks through the door
tomorrow"--now THAT'S selfish.