From the feed back the clinic recieves it defines relief, closure, a new chance, and hope a hundred to one against upset, loneliness and "a wound to the heart".
There is sadness that something went wrong with the zef or the pregnancy, there is sadness that a pregnancy resulted before it was wanted. There is almost always relief.
Sometimes there is anger. anger at the circumstances, the timing, anger at the pregnancy itself and anger at the god or gods. Anger at people (strangers) invading a personal family situation at the gate. Anger that a much wanted pregnancy resulted in medical complications.
When my landlady helped me abort I saw her as a saint or as a light in a world that was red hot with my anger and my pain. I was angry that I had been hjurt, that I had been humiliated, that I had been brought to the place where I knew he was going to kill me and I just wanted him to get it over with. Angry that I was made to realise that my being was no more than something to be used in the most depisable ways worth no more to my atacker than a piece of toilet paper.
My abortion ended a good deal of the hopelessnes and helplessness I was swamped in. It gave me back not only my life it gave me back the ability to pull myself together to get my existing children out of the situation we were in and get them back to the US and safety.
A big part of my job at the clinic is with the patients and their families
listening to them talk. I know their stories and how much they agonised over their decision.
While no one celebrates having an abortion, most of us are relieved and grateful that we were able to have one when we judged it to be what was best for our personal and unique situations.
Every time I look at my grown daughters and grand children I know for a hard practical fact that they would not be here if my landlady had not helped me.
My abortion ment that I and my existing two children lived. It ment that I lived to go on and give birth to my youngest daughter. It ment that my children lived to become adults and to give me my six grand children.