a Very Strange Feeling. Probably (definitely) My Fault.

Okay, so I am considered by most people to be what you would call an "alcoholic". I am very much unashamed of this and would care if everyone avoided voicing their opinions of the ridiculous choices I've made and just maybe give me an answer to the strange things that have been happening to my body which, I'm almost certain, are alcohol related.

I'm twenty. I've been drinking heavily for about a year, but was no stranger to alcohol for the past 4. About two weeks ago I downed a six pack of stale miller lite for reasons that don't need to be explained. The point is, it happened. As I drank the stuff (which had been sitting in a fridge for 2 weeks, apparently) I noted that with each gulp I'd get a strange, weighty, vibrating feeling in my stomach. It was, however, painless and I ignored it. Now, as I just said, I am a textbook alcoholic. I feel depressed/mildly sick if I do not drink at least every other night. And so my drinking habit has continued as normal, despite the fact that since that night, no matter what I drink, be it fresh beer or any sort of hard liquor, the strange weighty vibrating feeling that first occurred with that stale beer comes with every gulp I take.

Since last night it has now become worse. This strange thing that feels like a bag of jello shaking in my stomach now happens when I move too suddenly or quickly. It's not exactly constant, but it's happening enough to be an issue. It's continued to be completely painless, however it is scary and obviously something is wrong.

There is one thing I have that is more powerful than my depression or my dependency and it is my willpower. I can now say I won't be drinking tonight or any night until this thing goes away. But new years is fast approaching, and I feel I might cave.