I hear you LOUD and clear. Isn't it so frustrating having a picky kid. Nathan was like that. I treid so many different options. Every kid is so different. At first, he loved having his car at the table. I would take away his car until he tried a bite of the food he refused. If he refused, I just held onto the car until he complied. I gave him the car to play with after each bite, at first. Then I would make it every two bites. He would play with it for a few minutes until it was time to eat again and I would then take his car away until he ate more. He finally started to try different foods. If he didn't look like he was going to throw up (he didn't develop the art of manipulation until later), I continued to give that food to him. I increased the number of bites he was to take.
I DID strap Nate in a seat when he was younger.
Is there something that she likes to play with. I am wondering if a similar process would work for her, at least to get her to try different foods. For each meal, I still fed Nathan the foods he liked but had smaller portions so he would try something else, too.
It's amazing. Nathan really isn't a picky eater like he once was. I do believe that method worked for him. Of course, we no longer do the car/food exchange but now we do the "OH...eat your vegs so we can see your muscles grow." He will eat purposely for that.
Good luck. Hang in there. I really thought my naturally skinny boy was going to shrivel up to nothingness. He is still a skinny lil 'man but at least he is eating well now.