Join Our Community!
Share
Relationships > Relationships and Marriage Forum > Ladies, I Need Advice On Getting Her To Communicate
User Profile
Q: Ladies, I Need Advice On Getting Her To Communicate
asked by: samba88 on December 19th, 2007
Experienced User
Oook, I'll try to keep this short, bc no one likes a rambling post. I love my girlfriend, and she loves me. We've been together for a little over a year. My advice that i want is in the area of communication, this post is mainly directed towards women because I've yet to find a guy like myself. I'm a bit old fashioned in the realm of treating women, I consider myself a gentelmen and love to be very sweet to her and keep her as happy as i can, my goal is to make her life better. She had to deal with a bit of nasty divorce of her parents when she was younger and has a really hard time showing emotion. I on the other hand wear my emtions on my sleeve. When ever i want to have a serious talk with her or talk to her about serious matters she rarely opens up and it makes me feel bit sad. Also sometimes i look at her and feel overwhelmed with love for her and i tell her that, she has a really hard time telling me she loves or giving me compliments, i ed up having to ask her t tell me she loves me or things like that. When i try to have an intimate conversation with her responses are someimes plain yes/no asnwers followed by a chuckle or seomthing, and when i try to have a deep conversation with her i feel like im interrogating her or talking to a cat. Ive talked to her about it and she says shes trying to get better but wont change over night, its been a while nad ive sen little improvment. I'm frustrated because I was always under the impression that girls were always hassling their men to open up, not the other way around. Any advice at all would make me feel better.
Did you find this post useful?
|
Replies(5)
User Profile
Whaturmuva
replied on December 20th, 2007
Experienced User
You just need to give her some time. Do whatever you can to make her feel comfortable talking with you. Whenever she does talk make sure she knows you are hanging on her every word, this will let her know you are listening and may help her with comfort talking with you. Right now you just need to do what you can to let her feel comfortable with you.

Also how long have you two been together? It might not have been long enough in her eyes for her to fully open up to you.
Did you find this post useful?
|
Avatar
Melina
replied on December 20th, 2007
New User
I think you answered you own question, she has a hard time showing emotions and you have them on your sleeves... lool, in my relationship is backwards. Its easy for me to show my feelings and emotions(sometimes too much) to my boyfriend. I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant and I tend to be more sensitive. My boyfriend on the other hand is as cold as ice. He doen't show his emotions and rarely talks about his feelings. I know he loves me and cares for me, why else would he help me with my 2 girls (not his) and gives me the opportunity to race my kids in a safe enviroment. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and frustrated but when we lay down to sleep I have heard him say I love you so much... (he thinks I'm as sleep) I don't answer I just smile and keep my eyes closed. Listen not because she doesn't show her emotions doesn't mean she don't care. You can't force no one to love you. Not because you are ready for her to tell you that she loves you means she is... give her time and value the good moments in your relationship...
Did you find this post useful?
|
User Profile
samba88
replied on December 22nd, 2007
Experienced User
We have been together for about a year and 3 months
Did you find this post useful?
|
User Profile
Maddie34
replied on December 22nd, 2007
Moderator
Well with my boyfriend I need to ask just the right questions to get him to talk (it's the same with me sometimes as well).

Sometimes to get someone to talk you need to ask the right questions to get them to open up-- and you'll probably have to ask more than a few questions too. It's frustrating sometimes but it usually works.
Did you find this post useful?
|
Avatar
lovealiyah
replied on December 22nd, 2007
New User
I am in a similar situation. My boyfriend always wants me to open up to him more. He gets offended when I cant fully open up to him but it is hard for me. I have been through a lot and I have issues with trust. He thinks I dont love him because I cant open up to him but that isnt the case at all. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone but it is still hard for me. I just found it even harder for me to communicate when he kept pressuring me about it. I am willing to give him my all and open up to him I just need a little time. Just give her time and dont pressure her. Let her come to you when she is ready just let her know you are there and are willing to listen whenever she wants to talk.
Did you find this post useful?
|
Quick Reply
Search