I have some similar issues, and I am glad to know I am not alone (and I hope you are to). I am a freshman college student and among other things I have had a variety of mental health problems.
I was treated for depression when I was in grade school (been off medication for a while now thankfully) and I have ADD/ADHD (Depression before middle school, ADD I "diagnosed" myself in 5th grade, years after my 2nd grade teacher suspected it). My lowself esteem came from developing a little quicker than my peers and indefintiely before my younger siblings. The three of them would gang up on me and make fun of me for things I had no control of, which only fed my previous insecurities (like the constant bullying I received at school).
When I first started shaving I would (heh, should probably mention I am a female) I would pick at the ingrown hairs on my legs and feel better... then one day they popped. (Actually, it started with scabs, then moved to pimples). I did not pick at my breasts, but my legs and face. My legs are probably already scared-- I would use my nails (and later tweazers) to pick at and pluck what I thought were ingrown hairs (anything that looked red, inflamed or had dark hair just beneath the surface). I would spend hours in high school picking at my face and legs. It made me feel better. Like I had some sort of control, even though I would waste hours of my time, missing out on friends and family time and ultimately ruining my skin so I was ashamed to show my legs or face. I started doing better for a while this past year, but now it has gotten worse as I am plagued with doubts and low self-esteem. It doesn't help that I seem to have developed acne or pimple like bumps now on my arms, thighs, chest, and back.
You might have scar tissue, but I'm not certain. I have never told anyone about this (you are the first), I have been too ashamed and never recognized it as a problem. Till this year. It is a form of self-mutilation linked to depression (or at least that's what To Write Love On Her Arms website said somewhere). And it makes sense. It is a means of control, and (for me at least) letting out the pain (I find I actually enjoy the pain I cause during my picking sessions in some weird way).
Just recently today I found an article and a name that described the picking at acne (real or imagined). It's called Excoriated Acne, and that is what led me to your post. Since I just found out about it oh, 20 minutes ago I am no expert, but go to acne.about.com and look up the article.
I am sorry for the long reply, it was unintentional. I wanted to let you know you weren't alone (and I guess I was relieved to learn neither was I and had to spill). I have not told anyone either so I know this is going to sound hypocritical, but I think you should talk to a doctor as you said. I am trying to work up the courage on my own to do so as well.
Good luck and please look up that article I suggested, it may or may not be relevant, but it does say it is a medically recognized condition and there are ways to treat it.
Lu
