Joined: 21 Nov 2007 Posts: 50 Location: Southern, United States
Jealousy Issues, Need Advice Posted: 12-19-07 14:00pm
Hi, I've been with my girlfriend for a few
months over a year. She's my second really
serious love and I am absolutly mad about
her, she and I work together in nearly
everyway, and I don't plan on being with
anyone else. We have pretty good
communication and she has indicated that
she feels the same way towards me. Now
there is a problem that lies within myself
and I'm worried that I may be a hazard to
our relationship and my own worst enemy.
Down to the issue in short I am a pretty
jealous guy, not the violent I'm going to
kick some ass jealous guy, the "you really
dont need me around so I'll just go"
immature sort of jealous. I really hate it
and absolutly wish i wasn't this way. The
weird thign about it is that I'm dead sure
that she will be faithfull to me, she
would never lie to me, and she geniuenlly
loves me (I believe anyway). The bulk of
my jealousy lies within her friends. She
ha much moe guy friends then girls bc she
finds guys are easier to hang out with bc
they casue less drama (haha perfect woman
right) but at that extent I HATE seeing
photos of her with these guys or when she
spends time with them, or when she does
anything with them really. I know its
stupid and we have talked about it and we
always end up in a big fight when i bring
it up. When she hangs out with them
without me i feel like i dont exisit and
that she doesnt need me at all and that im
just another person she can hang out with,
i dont feel anymore special then any of
them. Shes told me I'm being stupid and i
guess i am but i simply cant help that my
emotions get the best of me. If anyone can
help me prevent such intense feelings of
anger, jealousy, and sadness in this
situation please do, because I dont want
it to get out of hand and be the death of
such a wonderful relaionship i have with
this girl.
From what you wrote you sound a bit needy,
you need the constant reassurance that YOU
are the number one in her life. You are
un-confident in yourself and in your
relationship, which is causing you to feel
this way. If you really trust her you need
to know that she will come back to you and
not run off with another guy. If the
relationship is truly wonderful, then put
a little faith in it and just let things
alone. By picking at her for having male
friends you are just going to harm the
relationship.
Has she given you any reason that you
think she does not deserve your trust? If
not then you need to give her the benefit
of the doubt.
To sum it up, be confident in yourself and
your relationship and things will look
brighter
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Melina
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Dec 2007 Posts: 17 Location: ,
Posted: 12-20-07 09:24am
I agree with WHATURMUVA... if you love
her you will enjoy the times together and
miss her when she is not there. The worst
thing you can do is always question her
love... if she is not thinking of doing
half the things you think she is doing,
trust me you are giving her a reason. You
can't live you life wondering of the
things she's doing or is going to do. My
suggestion... get a hobby that you really
like and try not to think about her so
much. Make yourself appreciate you for
you... Love yourself and don't pick on the
things you don't like, look at all the
good things you have to offer for each
other... GOOD LUCK.
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samba88
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Nov 2007 Posts: 50 Location: Southern, United States
to Whaturmuva Posted: 12-22-07 02:29am
Well, the truth can hurt but you do prove
a good point, I know the first step in
fixing an issue is realizing you have one,
so i'll take your advice and work on not
being "needy" as you put it, that makes me
feel pathetic and i dont want that. As for
hobbies I have lots of those, some i share
with her so no problem there. Thanks
though i think ths might help.
