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tangerine

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Is This Schizophrenia? Posted: 12-18-07 21:09pm


All right. I'm fairly nervous about posting, but here goes. I'm afraid I might be schizophrenic, and I thought that this would be a good place to see if I had some of the symptoms and if other people would agree with me...I'm a teenage girl who has had a fairly ordinary life. In mid October 2007, a character started to talk in my head. He started out monolouging in the back of my mind, and I used him in one of my novels, so I would listen and jot things down and stuff. One day, I was thinking and his voice suddenly popped up in my head, and I responded to him. We started to have conversations, and it is as if there is a real person here with me. At the moment I know he isn't real but I have fits of...something where I believe he is real. He sounds so real, and he has become a good friend of mine. I talk to him in my head, but apparently I talk to him out loud as well. This is disorienting and frightening. I also have episodes where I think people can read my mind, thus provoking me to think in code and not really think. My train of thought is a wreck, I can't keep my thoughts straight. Today, I got in a row with Alex (The voice) and it was really hard on me. I almost cried. I told a friend about this, and she kinda shrugged it off. He is nice to talk to, but it is starting to freak me out (and distract me!)! Please help! Sorry for ranting, if you've read this far you deserve a medal.

Philo

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Posted: 12-20-07 23:46pm


Sounds like it might be it. You should tell your parents and see a doctor.

irChris777

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Posted: 12-25-07 13:20pm


ya that is what they call "schizo." your most likely gonna find a doctor cant help you though. thinking people can read your mind and having a voice seperate from you in your head with its own personality- same things have happened to me. no1 is gonna tell you this theyll just throw you on a med and go play golf so let me tell you it k? NO1 CAN READ YOUR MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I PROMISE YOU! DO NOT OWWRY ABOUT IT! THEY CANNOT DO IT! if their facial expressions act like they can and tehy say things that your thinking about that they7 couldt possibly know that would be impossible it is just the devil messing with your head becuz the people themselves cannot read your mind i promise! heres the verse i used to own that one until it stopped happening - 1st Corinthinas 2:11 "For who AMONG MEN knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God." if anyone does know your thoughts its not another man and you can be sure of that. and if they act like they do its the devil makin them do it.

tangerine

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Posted: 01-20-08 16:21pm


I'd like to tell them, but I'm not sure how to encroach the subject: "Hi Mum. I'm hearing voices!" They poke fun at me when I act scared of anything, so I'm not sure how they would react. They'd probably call me hypochondriac and not do anything...

Philo

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Posted: 01-20-08 18:19pm


You don't know for sure. But you could also try the school councellor. He or she will be able to help.

tangerine

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Posted: 01-25-08 19:19pm


I just don't know how to. Whenever I try to say something about it, I lock up. I can't even say the word out loud, for God's sake. Another thing I've noticed which is so disturbing to me: I think that the songs are talking to me, and that the government is trying to watch me. Right now it seems s o ridiculous but when it is happening I'm not so sure... This is so horrid. There is also this kid at school who looks EXACTLY like Alex [voice in my head] does. I was so excited but then I was sent into a major sadness when my friend told me that she knew him. So obviously, not the voice. My friend is also pressuring me to get help, and I'm terrified she's going to call someone on me. Whenever the school counselor comes into the room, I freak. Whenever there are phonecalls, I freak. I'm so freaked out.

Galaxy

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Posted: 01-25-08 19:34pm


Whether or not you are suffering from Schizophrenia, you are certainly in an anxious state and I would use that as a starting point to open up conversation with your parents. It might not seem so threatening to you to be taken to the doctor suffering from nerves. Once you are there, you can go into more detail about what you are dealing with every day. It is too much for a young person to cope with this alone so please, tell your parents how stressed you are feeling.

tangerine

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Posted: 01-28-08 17:10pm


I tried to tell my dad...and I failed horribly. I nearly vomited, and the voice in my head was yelling at me for even saying the words, "Dad I'm...." so I stopped. I talked to a different friend about it and she's saying that I'm fine. In her words: "One, everyone has an imaginary friend at some point in their life. Yours is just later than usual. Two, people who think they have something wrong with them don't. It's when you don't know if there is something wrong that there is." I couldn't bear to tell her that I don't know anymore, and that the voice in my head is NOT imaginary...at least that's what it feels like most of the time. My friend said about the friend who is pressuring me to tell someone: "No, I don't think you need to tell anyone, you are probably fine, just a little hypochondriac. Just wait it out." She knows it's been going on for four months. Do you think I'm just a hypochondriac???? I just want to KNOW what is wrong!

Galaxy

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Posted: 01-28-08 17:47pm


Your friend is trying to reassure you and that is kind of her, but you have the sense and insight to realise this may not just be an imaginary friend. Even it is the case that you are 'hypochondriac' (and I don't believe that) then this would alert the medical profession to the fact that there s something seriously upsetting you. Try again with your dad, telling him that you are really worried because you feel there is something wrong. Don't go into too many details if you would rather not - just stick to 'feeling very anxious' and finding it hard to work etc. You don't want to risk having him think you are just imagining it all or, even worse, scaring him so that he won't want to take you to the doctor at all! All these worries and fears - they can all be sorted out, but you need to make a start. Delaying it will only make it harder to sort out later, when paatterns and thought processes are well established. Good luck.

antigone

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Posted: 02-01-08 01:29am


Tangerine, Nobody should live with the fear and uncertainty you are facing right now. If saying this out loud is too difficult try writing all of this down. Right down EVERYTHING you can think of that is odd or strange to you. Write about Alex, the government watching you.... You get the idea. You can give this to your mom and it will at least open the door for a conversation about what you are dealing with. Whatever is happening needs the attention of a professional. You need to consult with a psychiatrist that can evaluate you. That will be the first step to feeling better. All the best, luv.

MarijuanaKid

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Psychoactive Meditation??? Posted: 02-01-08 03:56am


Well, just a thought, I was wondering since Schizophrenia is a mental disorder, do you think a psychoactive drug such as mushrooms, could be taken and the Schizophrenic could possibly try a deep psychoactive meditation? it might calm your brain down?? I dont know if this would help at all, just a thought though.

Jules

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Re: Psychoactive Meditation???
Posted: 02-01-08 06:17am

MarijuanaKid wrote:

Well, just a thought, I was wondering since Schizophrenia is a mental disorder, do you think a psychoactive drug such as mushrooms, could be taken and the Schizophrenic could possibly try a deep psychoactive meditation? it might calm your brain down?? I dont know if this would help at all, just a thought though.

I'd be fearful that such drugs would actually cause a deterioration in the mental health...

MarijuanaKid

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Psychoactive Meditation Posted: 02-01-08 12:27pm


Well I think, it could do that, or it could help, the only way i think it would put you in a deeper mental disorder is by experiencing a bad trip, and even so, it would deteriorate with the mushrooms, so you would experience the worst of what the disease has to offer, therefore maybe helping you control your schizophrenia.

Philo

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Posted: 02-01-08 13:10pm


Mushrooms are not a cure to schizophrenia! Don't fool yourself.

o0Heather

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Posted: 02-01-08 13:29pm


Sounds like paranoid schizophrenia. You are having a hard time telling anyone. You really should and whoever said a doctor cant help you was wrong,you can get help from the right resources. You dont have to live like this. Its important to get the help as quickly as possible too, you dont want this to continue to mount and grow until its too big to handle. I wanted to suggest writing it in a letter and giving it to someone that will take it seriously and that will open up the dialogue about it for you. I dont think your parents would think its hypochondria I think they would react quickly to get you to someone you can talk to that knows about this sort of thing. You have to study for years upon years to come close to understanding this type of thing , a friend as much as they want to help cannot give you any advice on this. They simply are clueless to put it bluntly. You know its not normal for you and its obviously disturbing you. Make sure to include in the letter that you DO need help with this. The people around you love you and dont want anything to be wrong so you are going to have to reach out and help yourself here. Write a letter to your dad and be completly honest, if you dont want to tell him everything at least make it enough that he will not hesitate to get you help asap. Then you can talk to someone who understands whats happening to you and they already know its not your fault and wont judge you so it will be easier to talk to a professional.

tangerine

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Posted: 02-03-08 18:44pm


Thanks, all. I'm telling my mum tomorrow. She was just talking about mental health and said: "You can tell me anything, you know." That settled it, I'm going to tell her. It's just a horrid feeling, to think that the only reason I can be ordinary is through medication. And no, I'm not going to try mushrooms, to whoever said. Heh, no. The other thing is, I've become so attached to my...hallucinations? To think that I'll be alone for the first time in four months is strange, to say the least. I'm going to miss him, no matter how much of an a-hole he sometimes is to me. I'm so scared about telling her, what if her reaction is wrong? -le gasp-

o0Heather

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Posted: 02-03-08 23:13pm


I know its scary your going to feel so much better after you confide in your mom and have someone to talk to that really cares about you. Dont worry she already opened the door to you. She sees you need to talk to someone she knows something's up. She sat back and casually says you can tell me anything. But inside she is screaming Please please please talk to me I love you I dont want to scare you off so Im acting casual I LOVE YOU no matter what please talk to me! You dont know exactly how she will take it but its going to be with love for you, she might cry a lil or something but she will definalty want to get it worked out and be glad you came to her. Good luck keep us updated :p

o0Heather

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Posted: 02-03-08 23:18pm


I just read your post Antigone, we basically said the same thing :p heh I didnt read yours before I made mine. Kinda neat.

antigone

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Posted: 02-04-08 20:51pm


Tangerine, oOHeather has some words of wisdom that make a lot of sense. Go to your mom. She wants to be there for you. She wants to support you and love you through all of this. This is a difficult thing for both of you. Your mom may react in an unexpected way but I get the idea she already knows something is wrong. She mentioned mental illness to open the door for conversation with you. You need your mom. Let her be there for you. Let us know how you are doing. I am thinking of you! Hugs.

tangerine

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Posted: 02-09-08 12:21pm


I went to my mum. Stupid of me, she thought I was faking it. "You just saw that movie with that guy, you sure this isn't....?" I didn't bother to tell her it has been going on since 1 month before I saw the movie. She's not even sending me to a REAL therapist. She's sending me to a social worker who practises alternative medicine. I wish I hadn't told at all, now.