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Something wrong with my brain ? Drinking and Schizophrenic think

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BloodWillFollow

March 11th, 2007

I am a 27 year old. I don't know if I have schizophrenia or anything related but in a way I am curious. I believe it was 8 or 9 years ago I felt a little disorientation from reality. Ever since then it was increasing. Now I feel very questionable about everything. I will also state that I do drink. Over 10 years ago I was diagnosed with major depression, ADD, and if I remember correctly schizo affective disorder. Like I said, I don't remember exactly about the schizo affective disorder one though, I just remember hearing it before. I will admit that I have no life. I work, then come home and pace back and forth fantasizing of not being me, drinking at the same time. When I think of my real life, I get confused, frustrated and disoriented. It's like it feels like a dream of some kind, I can't explain it. I just feel so numb all the time. I will also let you know that I use to smoke cigarettes but quit almost a year ago. Since then I have been very energetic and awake. But it seems like somethings wrong with my brain and I don't know what. I'm a little scared of going to the doctor but most of the time I don't care. I was just wondering what you all think.

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desktapper07

replied August 18th, 2007

Re: Confused

I don't know what you had to go through to get to that "weird reality" thing, but I have it too. Except, mine started after a bad marijuana trip while drunk. I think my problem is very drug related, and that's how it began. I understand that, but I don't understand how it just starts to increase. But what I will share with you is something I read a couple of days ago that stopped me in my tracks. For 4 months, I have been feeling off-balance and disoriented. Sometimes I wonder if the whole world is just a charade, and the people in it are only mocking me and pretending to be real. Sometimes I will be at work and just drift off, eyes open, then come back and I'm slightly shocked to be back in the office. I don't know what the deal with that is, but this is what I read, and it comforted me quite a bit:

You will come to a part in life where nothing is the same. You won't be able to go back to the way things were, you will have to find a "new normal". That's how crossing Life's bridge works. At first, and perhaps for a long time, you may feel off-balance or disoriented but during that time Jesus Christ promises,

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 114:27+)."

BloodWillFollow wrote:

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desktapper07

replied August 18th, 2007

I have wondered the same thing also. I look at other people and wonder if they have ever experienced this. I've talked to a few people about it and they've never heard of such a thing and look at me as if I'm crazy. My friends have retreated a little bit.
Yesterday I read these lines from a book and immediately after went into a state of Enlightenment, I believe. I know for a fact, that I'm no saint and far from true Enlightenment, but for nearly three minutes I could sense the other dimensions around me and it was very frightening, but also very interesting. I CAN get back into this state of mind if I try, but I'm still afraid to get back into it.
I don't know if that related to what you were saying, but I wonder that also.

AbsentMinded20 wrote:

Is it possible that people with mental disorders tap into something that is forbidden to the general public...Ive talked to doctors, priests...read quite a bit...So from my 'limited' knowledge...can someone help me out?

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	Tags: brain, drinking, affective disorder, major depression, Depression, affective, hearing, admit, smoke, numb

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