hi, indeedio.
I'm Zak. I had a very similar experience during my teenage years. I can remember having feelings for some of my straight friends, and being incredibly depressed as a result. It's so much harder to have feelings for someone of the opposite sexual orientation. There's so much more at stake, especially if you're not open with your sexuality just yet. You know they won't have feelings for you back. Furthermore, you know that it would put you and your friend in an awkward position. On top of that, you have a good feeling of how they'd take the news of your sexuality: not well. It's so overwhelming, isn't it?

I remember thinking constantly about the consequences of telling one of my straight friends how I felt about him. It was very difficult.

You know what, though? I'll be perfectly honest with you. Friends who don't accept you for who you are, aren't good friends in the first place. They should love you regardless.

I'm very glad you came here though! I didn't have anyone to talk to... not even ehealth! If you ever need someone to talk to about what you're going through, never be afraid to private message me. I'm here to listen.

I totally agree with marvel. You need to change you life around and finally come out and start hanging with friends like you. You will feel much better. You will have more of a chance of finding someon who could possibly be a future mate for you and enjoy yourself while going down that road. Coming out is one of the hardest things to do,but, once you have done it, you will feel like a mountain has been taken off your shoulders. I am straight, but in my younger adult years most of my best friend were either bi or gay. I loved hangin out with a gay guy.. They are so much more fun to be around. I did not hang around the the girls much.
I say, come on out, and injoy your life while you still can. So you loose a few friends, big deal. Thier loss IMHO.
Remember, you are now on a board where we are all friends and take care of each other. We don't care who or what your prefferences are. We are here for you!

marvel! You can talk to me love anytime.

I understand. I've struggled with those feelings myself over the years, and they have been a source of conflict and depression. I've never quite known how to deal with the feelings I have for other women. It's a scary thing, isnt it?

As a 30 year old gay man that is still in the closet, I can definitely feel for you in regards to coming out. I struggled through my teens and 20s with how I really felt, am I straight/gay/bi/, etc. I did have girlfriends in the past, and they did not do it for me. I was dating a guy, and that has helped me to be able to accept myself more as a gay man, and through him, met quite a few friends that are making my courage to come out grow more and more each day. Some may say that being in the closet is living a lie, but that to me just sounds as though they don't know half the issues GLBT people face with their alternative lifestyle.

What I am preparing for is the acceptace / loss when I do come out. I have my plans of doing so that are slowly coming in place, and I plan to tell alot of people at once (friends and family). I am mentally preparing for the consequences that can arise.

The one thing I can say is, when the time is right, you will know it, and once everything is said and done, I am sure you will feel much better about everything.

If your friends can't take it very well, they're not very good friends! My friends all accepted me right away because we all have a mutual understanding out each other. Just be strong!

Hi...I have posted a GLBT Youth and Mental Health thread that you may want to read. Its in this forum,check it out and I hope it helps.
Your OK just the way you are. There is nothing wrong with being true to your self and being Gay is good, it is nothing to be ashamed of. A true friend will love you no matter what. Good Luck to you.