Relationships and Marriage Forum - Pleasure From Pleaasing Him?

I posted this in the women's sexual health board too...but out of 18 people who have read it..no one responded...

So my boyfriend and I haven't done much sexually...but I give him handjobs over his shorts..and he fingers me. But anyway...he says that it makes him happy to know that I am satisfied...and he likes getting me off because he feels accomplished. And I can't say that I feel the same way...Getting him off is just...blah to me...lol...it's just something that happens. Sometimes I feel accomplished...but making him happy doesn't make me happy it's just...blah. (He is the first boyfriend that I have ever had). I don't know why I feel this way, or if there is anyway to fix it. He went away on a long trip, and he hasn't gotten himself off in over a week, and he said he will let me do it this weekend when he comes to visit me...and I'm just like okay...but it almost feels like it's a chore.

Replies(3)

Whaturmuva

replied on December 17th, 2007

Experienced User

Well you need to talk to this guy and be honest. I know it would hurt to hear that your partner no longer wants to be intimate with you... but you can't go on doing things that you do not want to do or enjoy.

Tell him something like you want to take a break from the sexual side of the relationship and work on the emotional side... it could bring the spark back.

But if you do this, you can't expect him to bring you sexual pleasure either because it would be selfish of you.

Maddie34

replied on December 17th, 2007

Moderator

Is there a reason for it?

I used to hateit when it was "my turn to please." But I think that my problem was that I wasn't exactly comfortable with what I was doing yet. Once i figured things out I got a lot more pleasure out of doing it.

Are you sure you're really into this guy?-- just wondering, you didn't say what your feelings were towards him. Just that he's your bf and you don't get pleasure from his pleasure.

meblonde01

replied on December 17th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

I was going to ask the same thing.. are you sure you love this guy? I feel when you love someone it is a turn on to turn your man and make them happy sexually. But, that goes both ways.. I enjoy tuning my husband on. sometimes its all for him sometimes all for me and something both.. It should be exciting to you!

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