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Relationships > Dating Forum > Any Advice For My Relationship? Boyfriend doesn't want sex (Page 1)
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Q: Any Advice For My Relationship? Boyfriend doesn't want sex
asked by: PixieKat on December 12th, 2007
Experienced User
So my bf and I have been dating for 10 months, and he seems to of lost the want to have a sexual relationship with me. It seems we only have sex like once a month lately. Im getting really down from this. I like him so much, i really thought he would be the guy i end up marring. I even pictuared what our wedding would be like. And besides him have a few flows he is the best guy i have ever dated, and ive dated alot of guys. (dont want that to sound wrong, ive dated alot of guys, not had sex with alot of guys lol) Ive tryed everything i could think of, I usualy dress in a black shirt and jenes. im kinda punk lookin most of the time. So one night, when he decided to take me out on a date, i was really excited because he haddnt taken me out on a date since we first met, i got all dolled up, i looked sooo nice and hot, but not over board, he said he would be at my house at 2 so i was ready by 130.. and i sat waiting... by 4 i was woundering why he hadnt called or anythign so i started texting him and even called a few times. He never answered or wrote back. He finaly called at 7 saying he was on his way over, i asked why he haddnt aswered his phone or anything he said because he was asleep (my bf has a sleeping problem, he says he cant force himself to get up, i think ive posted about it before but im not sure) So i was really pissed when he got there, and he didnt understand why so i explained to him that i had been waiting for him since 130. He didnt comment on how nice i looked or anything.
We went back to his house and layed on his couch and i waited for him to start showing that he was in the mood but i heard him start snoring ( he went to bed at 4 am slept till 7pm, it was 10 pm How could he still be tired) so i started trying to get him in the mood and he fell asleep while we were making out, it was devistating. that was in oct, weve had sex once since than. and it didnt even feel like he was into it at all, im pretty sure he just gave up and stoped trying. Every time ive tryed to get him in the mood he turns me down. I talked to him about it and he said that it was because we dont get much alone time, so i made it so we had alone time, yet agian i was turned down. he wouldnt even let me get close to him to try. I dont try to force him to do it or anything, ill usualy just wait to see if he wants to. so i talked to him again last night and he said it was because he just isnt usualy in the mood,and he doesnt want that to be the only thing that holds our relationship togeither. i asked stuff like if i just dont make him happy that way and he said i do. I want him to be open with me and tell me everything. I tould him i was sorry but i just cant stop worrying about this, he says he loves alot, and i can see that really does like me. Idk what to do. Im really devistated the guy im in head over hills for is acting so strange!
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Aunt WeeWee
replied on December 12th, 2007
Experienced User
Ok, i juz skeemed through ur post, cause I don't have a lot of time.
1st of all, try tell-n him how u feel. Then try sumthin new, 2 spiece thins up a little. If there is aywy U can, go out 1 night, & get a room, & juz have a night w/ U & him, and have fun. MayB he's juz got a lot on his mind or sumthin. I would tell him how U feel, and talk bout it w/ him.

I hope I was sum help. keep me updated!
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Aunt WeeWee
replied on December 12th, 2007
Experienced User
Another thin, sum guys R juz like dat. I'm N a long distance relationship, but B-4 my bf moved 4 states away 4rm me, when I kne we were go-n out, i would always fix my hair & have sumthin cute on, and make-up on, but 95% of the time he wouldn't comment me on anythin. When he did comment me it was on how pretty my eyes or hair is. i wouldn't worry 2 much. Juz talk 2 him
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nightangel73
replied on December 12th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
pixie if I were you I would breakup with the guy. He is showing that's what he wants to do anyways. I had a bf once that began to turn me down like that and in a few months time he broke up with me. I should have figured it out when he began to turn me down. That was the signal. We didn't fight so I couldn't imagine he wanted to break up with me for any reason but the thruth was he lost interest in me for some reason and wanted to break.

My advice go get a guy that wants to make you feel like real woman. Forget that oh but i'm head over hills for this guy bluff. In the end it doesn't matter if you are head over heels for him if he is not head over heels for you. So don't waste your time. There is plenty of men out there looking for a relationship.
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PixieKat
replied on December 13th, 2007
Experienced User
Thank you for your replys, im going to give him a little while longer, and if things dont change ill make a desicion
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To0kxy
replied on January 15th, 2008
New User
I have been with my partner for a few years now, i have found that if i give him heaps of attention and call all the time, he shows less interest. Before you make a decision to break up, try not contacting him, dont organise anything. Be the same towards him as you are usually. just act like you dont care about what he does. He might not like it or get worried that YOUR not interested in him anymore. This might change his actions alot. If he organizes to do something, tell him you`ll meet him at his and be an hour late. Try not being affectionate to him, if he wants a cuddle he`ll come to you. If he asks you what is wrong just say something simple like "Nothing babe, i just got the impression i was smothering you."

Every guy is different though, just because i have found this to work with my relationship, doesn't necessarily mean it will work for you. Hope it helps though! Please keep me updated i would love to knwo what happens.
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PixieKat
replied on January 17th, 2008
Experienced User
Thanks for your reply:) I think im going to try what you sugested, it will be really hard, but ill do it.

My guy still hasnt changed, and i made this bet with him, we play halo alot, thats mainly what we do, so i tould him, if we play halo, than that night we have to atleast four play. When we went to bed that night, i felt bad, i dont want him giving me attention just because i want him to ya know. so i didnt do anything, he started it, and after he was really turned on and we stoped that was it. we went to sleep. How can he get really turned on and just stop? Not that i wasnt happy with the attention i got, but most guys, would of called me a teas if i stoped and was just done.

So i guess ill just try what you sugested.
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Neek
replied on January 19th, 2008
New User
You could find some1 who treats you a hundred times better than that!
he doesnt deserve some1 as special as you
look how much effort you are putting in, he doesnt even acknowledge that
i was in a similar situation, it took me a while to get out... but you have to before its too late, or you could get hurt more!
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PixieKat
replied on January 19th, 2008
Experienced User
Ya, i know i should try to find another guy, but out off all the guys ive dated, he is the only one who is close to everything i want in a guy.. Im just hopin it will work.. I dont know if i realy should dump him just because he doesnt want sex, to me that sounds like a weird reasion to break up with a guy.
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unnamedny
replied on January 20th, 2008
Experienced User
sex if very important part of the relationship, we need it for our health.
From reading above it seems to me that that SEX is not the only issue in your relationship. if you feel this is the issue you have to talk to him and find out what's WRONG, even if it goes into the conflict (sometimes you have to get into drama to resolve some issues).
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PixieKat
replied on January 20th, 2008
Experienced User
The only other issue we have in our relationship is him sleeping alot. Other than that and no sex its a great relationship. If there is another issue in our relationship, i dont see it.

I've tryed talking to him many times about it, and i havnt found out why he doesnt want to have sex with me. I asked questions like, if i excite him, what i can do to please him more. Why he doesnt like sex stuff like that, and he just says he doesnt like to have sex to much, that i excite him and there is nothing i could do to make it better stuff like that.....

Im just completely lost with this.
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Maddie34
replied on January 20th, 2008
Moderator
So does he have some problem with sleeping? Why on earth is he going to sleep at 4 am? Is he always like that? Does he work?

I'm only asking because obviously you aren't going to be in the mood for sex if you're exhausted. I used to work 10 hours get home at 12 am and stay up until 3 and then my boyfriend wanted to have sex-- it just wasn't going to happen for me since all I could think about was sleep. We had to work things out so I would take days off just for him-- like weekends were for my boyfriend and I while during the week I got sleep at correct times. And I know you'd think that going to sleep at 4 am and waking up at 7 pm sounds like MORE than enough sleep but it really messes with your body and its just not how it's supposed to be.

Sorry, I don't know the details so that might not even be the problem. I couldn't find any recent post of yours about your bf's sleeping problem so let me know!
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unnamedny
replied on January 20th, 2008
Experienced User
Well there are guys who only need to get laid once every month. Same type of girls exist. But I've met anyone with a such a sleeping disorder. Usually when people sleep overtime they might feel more tired than after sleeping 8 hours.
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PixieKat
replied on January 20th, 2008
Experienced User
Maddie34 wrote:
So does he have some problem with sleeping? Why on earth is he going to sleep at 4 am? Is he always like that? Does he work?

I'm only asking because obviously you aren't going to be in the mood for sex if you're exhausted. I used to work 10 hours get home at 12 am and stay up until 3 and then my boyfriend wanted to have sex-- it just wasn't going to happen for me since all I could think about was sleep. We had to work things out so I would take days off just for him-- like weekends were for my boyfriend and I while during the week I got sleep at correct times. And I know you'd think that going to sleep at 4 am and waking up at 7 pm sounds like MORE than enough sleep but it really messes with your body and its just not how it's supposed to be.

Sorry, I don't know the details so that might not even be the problem. I couldn't find any recent post of yours about your bf's sleeping problem so let me know!


Well he works graves from 10 to 5 am he usualy sleeps from 6 or 7am till 2 or 3 if i wake him up, if not he will sleep till 5 or later, even sometimes until 9pm when he has to get ready to go to work again. Sometimes i dont even get sex once amonth, last time it was 2 going on three.
Even sometimes after he's slept alot, he will come over and go to sleep, it seems like all we do togither is watch tv, play halo or he sleeps.. We occasinaly go bowing and stuff. but i dont have much money so we try not to do alot of things that cost money.

Sorry i thought i posted about his sleeping issue on ehealth, but it also might of been on yahoo before i found this site.
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young Girl
replied on January 20th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
ahh you play halo? halo 3? on x box 360?


if so........................................ ..ME TOO!
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PixieKat
replied on January 20th, 2008
Experienced User
You do! thats awsome! i havnt met very many girls that do. Do you play on live alot?
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young Girl
replied on January 20th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
yep x box live Smile i love social slayer. i just hold the trigger down on my gun LOL

me and travis play alot.
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PixieKat
replied on January 20th, 2008
Experienced User
Lol thats awsome ^_^

if you ever feel like playing against me you should add me

StripierAnubis


Its Stripier not striper lol, my twin made my name... and every one keeps asking if im a striper lol
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young Girl
replied on January 20th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
LOL awsome
are you ranked or anything?
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PixieKat
replied on January 20th, 2008
Experienced User
Yup, im a lieutenant grade 3, and my highest skill is 15... Now i sound geeky lol

Are you ranked?
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