I know what you are feeling. I have gone through this too and my own mother was never a good mother, so I find it hard to express myself properly and be a good mom. I have nothing to guide my actions.

You are on the right track because you know that it's wrong to be calling names and you want to be a good parent. Every parent makes mistakes. We are all human, and no matter how great or little our responsibility, and no matter even if we have had all the proper schooling and upbringing, we are going to be at a loss at some point.

Parenthood is the most difficult job in the world. But the answer to this situation isn't as hard as you think it is. Since he is 16, it is time that you became less of an authoritative figure and more of a friend. You have to be both since he is still young and needs guidance, but you can sit down with him at this point and explain your own past, and what you regret, and what you would like to do. He is old enough to understand. Even tho we are older and parents, we are still growing too in that we learn something new every day and become wiser.

I think your son would love to have some one on one time....a fun and healthy chat about your relationship, and maybe more than one chat. I'm sure that he will be willing to give you a new start and work with you on this. Just tell him the truth about what you have in view and it will be fine.

Good luck