Hey hun...

I'm not usually one to suggest abortion. I'm highly not in favor of it. But, at 14, your body really isn't ready for pregnancy. Your hips are too narrow, and you're doing too much hormonal development. Pregnancy is not good for your body.

I would suggest seeing a doctor to seriously discuss your options. At 17, pregnancy nearly ruined my body. I can't imagine what it would have done at 14. Whatever you decide, good luck.

Good luck.

Good for you to take that road!! It's not easy, but you will make it. Later on in life you will not be sorry for it. I think you make a very good choice: a very mature choice and that's a big step up

I agree with Altari.

you never know her body could be ready, she could have hips.. just cause your body wasnt ready dosnt mean hers isnt... i found out i was pregnant less then a week after my 17th birthday. i had my son and my body is fine. im a small girl too, im skinny and short.. to give you an example of how tiny i am i only weigh in at about 90lbs, so yes im tiny, im not anerexic or anything, but im just tiny... and i delived a 8 lb baby (well one oz short of 8lbs) my body is fine, aside from some minor streach marks on my boobs and my belly isnt flat like it use to be. oh and the nice scar on my crotch from getting a second degree ter... so yeah i dont consider that screwing my body up.. and i knwo a girl who had a baby at 14, her body is fine except shes got a belly of streaches, she looks like a tiger!

I wouldn't want to risk it, and there is a big difference between 14 and 17.

It's not about being "small" it's about anatomy.

Again, why would you play roulette with your life? Step right up, throw the dice, let's see if your pelvis has expanded enough to fit a baby!

During puberty, your body expands to become a baby making machine (sorry, it's the purpose of DNA). Your hips widen, your breasts become fully developed, and your body stores fat in a way that is more conducive to pregnancy. Girls change from being relatively androgynous at the age of 10 to a anatomical adult woman by the age of 16-17.

That is why 17 year olds suffer less bone-related problems during delivery. Their hips have already spread to a point that will accommodate passing a 7.5 pounds bowling ball. The stretchy ligaments that allow further hip spreading are also present (and I believe they are not present during puberty). Most of this is related to a rise in hormonal changes, which may, considering the dynamics of pregnancy, stop in a post-partum girl who hasn't completed puberty.

Take a look at some pregnancy related death statistics from Africa, where young (<15 years) pregnancy is more common. Such problems include prolapsed uterus, torn bladder, shattered hips, and a variety of painful obstetric fistulas.

good luck hun... Hope everything goes well.

i would choose abortion

but thats just me

good luck

Me, too. I wouldn't even think twice about it. I cannot in a million years understand why a 14 year old would want to go through all of the physical and emotional (in school, facing the teachers and other students who can be cruel, etc.) pain of pregnancy and the torture of childbirth (I cannot even imagine what it would be like at that age, it was bad enough when I gave birth as a fully grown adult).

She's only 3 weeks pregnant, she could just take a pill and have a medical abortion.

Has she been to a doctor and been tested? I'm hoping it is all a mistake.

hmmm
how would you know your 3 weeks pregnant?

When I asked if her pregnancy had been confirmed -



So there is hope that the test was read wrong and once she sees a doctor she'll get a real better test.

If you test right after your first missed period, technically you are about 2 weeks pregnant.

I'd say she was counting from her missed her period. I didn't know how they measured pregnancy by weeks til I got pregnant (1.

I agree with futureshock, I couldn't deal with the stress of it. If you are on the small side, and the fact you are immature (physically anyway, whether you think so or not), I would go with abortion only because it is a hazard to your health at this point in time. Good luck with your decision.

I'm glad to hear her parents are level headed about this and gave her the two smart options - they clearly don't want to raise her child and don't think she should have to either, since she's still a child herself.

I've got to say adoption is emotionally harder in so many ways... Not to mention you've already expressed fears about going to school and being pregnant. You can imagine how the other students will treat you.

Why do you not want to abort? I agree with most of the others here: pregnancy is not good for your body at this age. I've also read of the african girls just like you dying in child birth because the baby gets stuck.

In the end it's your choice, but please consider both ideas with an open mind. Pregnancy is not easy or fun. You will most likely deliver the baby prematurely and it will have to stay in the hospital for a long time before its mommy can come pick it up... and that mommy won't be you. It will be someone else. Maybe a stranger. Premature babies face many health risks. None of this sounds like the right solution too me.

"I've got to say adoption is emotionally harder in so many ways... Not to mention you've already expressed fears about going to school and being pregnant. You can imagine how the other students will treat you."-Eiri

And living with the aftermath of destroying what would be her child isn't nearly as emotionally damaging as giving it a chance at life? (emotionally key word)

And what do you know about teenage pregnancy in high school... have you been through high school with a child that it yours? I am and contrary to popular belief most people aren't stereotypically "mean". You'll be surprised at the number of people who will be proud and considerate of you.
There might be a few who might be unkind however all that matters is what you think.

"I've also read of the african girls just like you dying in child birth because the baby gets stuck. "----where?
And apparently this is race specific to african (African American) girls?

It seems like you made up your decision and I commend you for it. At your age especially make sure you see a doctor on a regular basis. Keep your chin up and I wish you the best of luck!

16 father...

No, it isn't race specific. It's case specific. In the developed world, typically, girls younger than 16 don't maintain a "healthy" (read : viable) pregnancy.

While it is possible for a 14 year old to carry to term and give birth without complications, my un-med-school-educated opinion, based upon case studies, is that the physical risks outweigh the emotional benefits.

Are you familiar with the terms "obstetric fistulas" and "prolapsed uterus"? Case 1 : A fissure develops between the vaginal canal and another major organ, usually bladder or colon. It's a relatively fatal condition. Case 2 : The girl's uterus actually falls out of her vagina. Again, relatively fatal.

Medicine in the developed world (read : sterile c-sections) generally prevents these two conditions. However, they are just the tip of the ice burg for health risks at such a young age. There is an enormous physiological difference between a 14 year old and a 16 year old.

of course not

then she wouldnt be forced to carry the child full term which can be emotionally destroying.
id rather terminate and get rid of the fetus before it was turned into a actual child, which i think it'd be 100% easier on my part to live with myself after an abortion then adoption

but tahts a whole nother topic