What Is Going On

Allright look heres the sition. i was a young kid heading for trouble. i rebelled against my parents and started watching porno and smoking weed
idk how i did it but i got away with it all everyday for about 3 and a half years. Ive been worried my whole teenager life and find myself older with life wieiging on my shoulders. As a kid i was into sports and alot of athleticsi got girlfriends, friends and all that good things. Well unexpectly it seems as the years passed by a mentle illness krept up on me. I became addicted to a video on the computer called star craft. It was all i would do star craft, porn and do alot of drugs. Now when i get high i can't talk think and sit in an open "video game stare". I talk like a girl and look like one..lol it angers me off because i'm not gay just without a fire..will that come back? how do i get away from porn? and does marijuana play a roll in this. i stop masturbating for once a week, yet i still have trouble communacating, and staring into open space. My friends say i'm in another world but it don't seem like it to me. sorry for incorrect gramer spelling and slang. and i talk to myself in my head