My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 14 months. He is 3 years older than me. Some of these problems are in the past...but they do sometimes keeps arising. First off, he used to get really mad last year when I wouldn't let him come visit me for a weekend because I had too much homework, or other things going on. (It's a long distance relationship, we are 3 hours apart). He would tell me that he understood that school was important, yet he would get angry and try and make me feel guilty about not letting him come. Then he would get angry because he never knew where our relationship was going because he told me he loved me within like 3 months of dating, and I was not ready to tell him that. But I finally did during our 1 year anniversary. Then he used to get angry when I couldn't give him a definite answer as to whether or not I saw in him in my future. I am 20 years old...and he is 23, soon to be 24. And he is the first boyfriend I have ever had, and yet he expected me to be positive as to whether or not I wanted to commit to him and marry him?! We don't really argue about that much anymore, but we recently had an arguement about engagements...because I am a junior in college, and I wanna finish my schooling, and that won't be until december of 2009, and so I had said I don't wanna get engaged until after I am done school. And then I wanna teach a few years before I get married. And he got really mad about that...because he said he doesn't wanna date me for like 4 or 5 years and then later down the road have him propose and then me say no. Well I don't wanna commit to him if I am not positive that I want to marry him. Then we got in a huge fight about abortions...I said something about if I got pregnant I would maybe get one because I am not done school yet and I am not having a baby until I am married. And he of course got mad about that, and I told him well it's not his body or his decision. And then we argue about sex sometimes. We aren't having sex yet, and I am always confused to as if I wanna wait until I am married to have sex (for personal reasons, not religious). He is not a virgin, he has had sex with one other girl. He told me if I wanted to wait, obviously he would wait for me, but he might propose sooner than expected. He also wants to live together before ever getting married. He might move closer to me soon, and he was kind of mad because I will be going home in May when school is up. So he would be moving here, and we'd be an hour apart, but then I would be moving home in May, and we'd be 2 hours apart...but only for 3 months until school starts again. I am not living with him until I am done school, I am living here at school with my friends.
Sometimes I just feel like he acts the way that he does because she is at a different point in his life. He is done school and has a job. His parents had him when they were 17 and 18, and so they are both young and they want grandkids...and he wants to start a family when he is relatively young. Well I am not having kids anytime soon. I want to graduate school, get a teaching job, then get married, and then start a family. He wants to have a kid, or 2 before he is 30. Which puts me at 26/27. I guess that is reasonable. But with the whole abortion thing, I just feel like he is at the point in his life when he could have a family now...which is why he is soo against it...well sometimes I just feel like saying tough luck...it's not his decision.
It takes me a longer time to feel a certain way and feel certain things. We just recently starting progressing in the sexual aspect of our relationship but that's because he is the first person i've ever done anything with. It just takes me longer to get comfortable with someone. Which is why it took me so long to tell him I loved him.
I guess I just want advice on things, or thoughts or anything. I do love him very much, I just wish he would wait for me to "catch up" to where he is in life. I don't want to break up with him...I just need advice on things. I guess this is like a therapy session lol. Thanks!
Saving 