Joined: 10 Dec 2007 Posts: 1 Location: Dayton, NV,, USA
Abused And No Money - how to get out? Posted: 12-10-07 04:44am
I have been in an abusive relationship for
five years. We have been together for
seven years. At first it was little digs.
Then it became constant verbal abuse even
in front of the kids. He says things like
I'm a loser, a dumb donkey, I will never
amount to anything etc. He has pushed me a
few times and one time threw me across the
room. He verbally abuses my son to the
point that he is now in counseling. But
his childen are angels. My biggest problem
is he has control of all the money. I have
been trying to get a job in my field, but
right now there is nothing available. I
have no financial way out. My children no
longer need to live like this nor should
they have ever had to. When I do work he
cuts me down and tells me I will never
make what he does. I have been thinking
about a shelter but my children would have
to leave the school they have grown up in.
His anger is building daily and so is his
hatred for my children. I have no family
to turn to. Does anyone have any advice. I
am realy desperate.
|
Hart74
Supporter
Joined: 06 Apr 2007 Posts: 533 Location: Woodlands (not like there are woods anywhere near) Garden City ,
Thanks: 9
Thanked:7
Wutch Posted: 12-10-07 07:04am
Some people tends to do what your partner
do to cover up what his/her shortcoming.
If he starts verbally abuse your children
it is time for you to stand up for you and
your children, you don't need this from
him or anyone else, summon all your
confident and tell yourself you can do
what he's been telling you that you can't
and YES your children donesn't need to
live like this. All is up to you now.
Always think positive about yourself, you
can do it! Good luck.
|
jodie 16
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Aug 2007 Posts: 271 Location: south wales, wales
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Right Posted: 01-02-08 14:42pm
To Start with dnt worry about the money
get in a shelter ??
your son will suffer terribly please
listen to me!"!
he calls you all these things cause he is
worthless not you but him>?
my mother had it for years all of it and
me cause i werent his kid my mother kept
promiising to leave him but she never did
!!
nw i have left home and have terrible
anxiety !!
no confidence and anger .....she always
had excuses about money
Get Out Now!!!
Before Your Son Grows Up Confused And
Angry And May Resent You On Times
X
|
roxy1234
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jan 2008 Posts: 37 Location: , newzealand
You are precious Posted: 01-21-08 02:17am
if you have a look on the net and type in
circle of violence it may give you some
more insight into power and control and
may have support contacts in your area.
its part of the game to isolate you.
abuse is a serious issue and i agree with
the others, and that while you are being
degraded it is teaching your children that
this is normal. Alot is taught to young
people about what is normal just by being
in a situation. they will often then take
that into their own relationships unless
there is intervention. (hate females, hate
father figures)but at this point you are
important, you were not created to be
abused. emotional abuse is just as
destructive,and yes it is often through
others insecurities that it manifests from
their own childhood. are you able to see
a councillor who specialises in this
field,A job in any field may be an option
just to build you up, in the circle of
violence it teaches you about the control
and finances putting you in a situation
where you feel you are powerless and
cannot leave, he has you pinned,
you dont have to put up with it, i grew
up in a very violent home, it left many
emotional scars. my mother died
prematurely from alcoholism, i now have 4
beautiful children that she has never
known.
her lawyer interviened and thretend to
take us children away, she finally left.
abuse does not result in happy and secure
for anyone. You have one life choose
wisely how you spend it. good on you for
having the courage to start seeking help,
you are allowed.
my mum would hide money so one day we
could escape. the time did come when we
did get free we were scared, we lived in
refuge and i knew it was ok becase we had
eachohter. the biggest reason he says you
cant do it, is that if you break free you
will expose what he has been doing, and
wiht that comes accountability. that is
not yours to carry, its his bagage,his
illness. he has no right to crush you or
your children.
