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Mental Health > Self Injury Forum > I Don't Want to Cut Again...
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Q: I Don't Want to Cut Again...
asked by: Lilly Ivy on December 9th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I'm 18 and pregnant to a wonderful man. I started cutting when I was 14, usually because of my mother. Every time I would get a boyfriend, I would stop because I felt loved. but after many a men, nothing made it stop. I then had a boyfriend for 2 years who left me for some fat health forum and married her about 2 weeks later. So of course I started again, locking myself in my room, being a recluse. So when I met my fiancee, it of course stopped again. I've been with him for about a year and a half. He has a 9yr old boy and has had his share of psycho women, and I am just so afraid something is going to happen where we split, maybe not soon, but like 5yrs down the road and I am SO scared I'm going to go back to cutting again. He doesn't know it, so when I get depressed, I have to try really hard not to cut, I just cry, but it makes me more upset because he hates when I cry, even though he just sits there on his computer like always. Just wanted to share and hopefully nothing bad will happen, because I'll probably take it too far... Crying or Very sad
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twilight_mist
replied on December 10th, 2007
New User
First of: Let him know that you need him to be around, not just physically, but mentally (meaning be there with you, not the computer).
Let him know of your feelings, even if you don't tell him of your desire to cut, he should at least know you are hurting inside. Let him know you need him to support you (and that that doesn't have to mean buying you lots of stuff, but simply being around and showing affection, if that is what you want from him).

there is also a chance that he has some idea that you are feeling low, but retreats to the computer because he thinks you want to be left alone. - it's hard to say

_ and try to find activeties that keep you from hurting yourselves if you feel the urge building, - like going for a walk or taking a cold shower or something of the sort.
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Lilly Ivy
replied on January 4th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Thank you. It means a lot knowing someone cares and is giving me advice. Thank you SO MUCH!
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twilight_mist
replied on January 4th, 2008
New User
No prob. Just PM me if you want to talk more (and in private). I'm not here every day, but check in now and then
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keys101
replied on January 4th, 2008
Experienced User
hey Lilly. I was a cutter for about three years, and I haven't done it in two. I know exactly how you feel, needing somebody to be there so you feel loved, making it easier not to cut. I have a wonderful boyfriend who is sweet and supportive and makes me feel incredible, but I've found that it is very very VERY important that I am able to quit for my own reasons. You have to realize that YOU are important as your own person and you don't need anybody else to validate that importance. It's great to have that love from somebody, but you need to love yourself. Every person is an individual and each of us deserves respect. And that includes from yourself.
I am no stranger to cutting and if you ever need help please know that I'm here to talk! you may send me a message on here. Good luck!

-Paula
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Halfpint1975
replied on September 15th, 2009
New User
I am a recovering cutter which is really hard.
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