Joined: 19 Nov 2007 Posts: 205 Location: gulf coast =), USA
Posted: 01-22-08 09:38am
hey junebug77 =)
just wanted to let you know that you are a
strong person. and i think that you are
making the right decisions. it's hard to
know what to do. i'm sort of in the omg i
have bp phase too. i'm glad the kids had
some time with him. the little one's are
so innocent in all of this mess. i'm sure
he was on his best behavior... which might
be a good sign?? maybe it would be better
to communicate in writing with him. i'm
not saying don't see him but it might be
easier to put your thoughts to paper...
for both of you. stay strong. xoxo puzzld
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Junebug77
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Dec 2007 Posts: 18 Location: Midwest, USA,
Posted: 01-28-08 21:10pm
well...I don't have to wait anymore...I'm
meeting with my attorney tomorrow. I can't
do this anymore. I can' t let him hurt me
and the kids anymore. He is so unstable.
He is more committed to taking care of his
drug-addict brother (who lives with him,
by the way) than taking care of his wife
and children. I don't care if he cares
about me anymore...he should care about
his children. I really think he is a
horrible person outside of being bipolar.
I could be more understanding if it was
just the BP...but he really is awful. This
has been the worst day of my life. I just
ant to protect my kids...that's all I
want. All we did today was exchange
hateful emails... is such a liar. And I
kepe finding out more and more what he is
lying about...and it's being going on for
a while, evidently. His mom is enabling
him...she thinks there is nothing mentally
wrong with him. She said he only threw
things at me and yelled at me to get my
attention..WHO SAYS THAT????? She said he
just stressed...not mentally ill. Did I
mention before that she is the one who set
him with his apartment when he left us??
Oh yeah...what a good mom.
He told me today that he did not abandon
us...I'm pretty sure he did!!! He hasn't
been back has he?? I'm so angry right
now...I don't want the kids to not have
their father in their lives but I can't
risk doing more damage to them. He has
done enough already! AAAAHHHHH
HELP ME!!!!
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Junebug77
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Dec 2007 Posts: 18 Location: Midwest, USA,
Posted: 01-31-08 19:50pm
My attorney filed the papers for divorce
yesterday...I know I wanted it, but then
again, I don't....I know this is what I
have to do to protect my children and stop
torturing myself...I just didn't know I
would hurt this bad. I'm a mess...
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designlady
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 55 Location: , USA
Thanks: 0
Thanked:1
Posted: 02-01-08 11:46am
I think you did the right thing. I'm not
saying that I support divorce as an option
for when things get bad because a
committment was made "for better or
worse," BUT in circumstances like these,
it was in your best interest and your kids
to cut the cord from this guy and move on.
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puzzld
Supporter
Joined: 19 Nov 2007 Posts: 205 Location: gulf coast =), USA
sweet junebug77 Posted: 02-01-08 12:02pm
sorry junebug77 i'm sure you made
the right decision. you made a decision to
protect you and your children. it's OK to
grieve the loss of him. but maybe your
right about it not just being about bp...
ya know? i wish i could be a fly on the
wall for you. i know your heart is
breaking/broken. remember he left not you.
and that is just plain awful that his
family enables him like that. run don't
walk. sorry, i'm just mad for you. you
don't deserve this. we all love you!!!
xoxo
puzzld
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Junebug77
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Dec 2007 Posts: 18 Location: Midwest, USA,
Posted: 02-04-08 20:02pm
He told me he doesn't love me anymore. And
that I should stop calling him my husband.
Whatever. He also said that I'm "the crazy
one." That there is nothing wrong with him
and I that I drove him to the point where
he had to check himself into the psych
ward. He said he's doing better than he's
ever been in his life. He said he's going
to go to court "guns blazing" against me.
That I'm a terrible mother and that he
didn't abandon us. He is delusional...What
is wrong with him?? I do not know who this
person is!!!
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Fairy*Godmother
Supporter
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1404 Location: , Georgia USA
Thanks: 55
Thanked:65
Hi Sweetie! Me Fairy*Godmother Posted: 02-04-08 20:13pm
I for one am very proud of you for you
taking hte bull by hte you know what and
proceeding with a divorce. It is NOT right
for a man to treat his wife and children
the way you have been treated. I have read
your comments from the past, and you and
your children deserve so much more in
life. Believe me, ther ewill be someone
out htere who will adore you and those
beautiful kids and treat you with respect.
Do not allow him to try to put the blame
on you.......Let him make his
threats....... You are hteone who has the
kids and he's the one who walked out....no
judge in their right mind will take the
children away from a caring and devoted
Mother, and most will respect the ones who
actually go ahead and try to make a better
life for themselves and children. He's the
one on record for going inot the psych
ward.........DUH......We are here to back
you up girlfriend....you are not alone and
never will be. Yes this hurts, but from
what you've written in the past, you've
been hurt plenty. Time heals all
wounds.....You just hang in there
girlfriend, and be the best Mother you can
be......You are gonna come out smelling
like the rose you are!
HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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puzzld
Supporter
Joined: 19 Nov 2007 Posts: 205 Location: gulf coast =), USA
Posted: 02-07-08 13:55pm
he is delusional!!! and very ill. i pray i
never hurt anyone like that. he'll never
get those kids. duh is right. love u girl!
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newbride807
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Feb 2008 Posts: 12
My husband left me too Posted: 02-16-08 11:02am
I am new to this forum and new to this
disorder and am trying to learn all that I
can about it. I believe my husband is an
undiagnosed bipolar. He left about 4
weeks ago now, before we even reached our
6 month anniversary. We just got married
at the end of last summer. We have known
each other for several years now, friends
in the beginning, turned into great
friends, and then turned into love. We
had a lot of ups and downs to say the
least when we started dating but that
would be a whole novel to write. After
some time we seemed to get on the same
page and after living together for 3-4
years, he asked me to marry him. We were
married within 8 months after our
engagement. We had just gotten the proofs
from our wedding and we still had wedding
presents on our living room floor that we
didn't have room to store in our small
apartment, and now all these things are in
boxes in storage in my sister's basement
and in my brother's house.
He had left while I was at work. I didn't
realize he wasn't coming home until I
called him when he normally would already
be home. He had seemed frantic earlier in
the day while I was at work. For some
reason he had thought I was mad at him and
he was trying to contact me. My battery
died on my cell phone while I was at work
and I had to turn it off, he had tried to
call me but I was on the phone with a
customer. I had emailed him in the
morning that I would be leaving work early
because we had talked the night before
that resulted me in tears throughout the
night and I was wiped out. I guess my
lack of responses to him during his
frantic state forced him to think I didn't
want him around. So he left work early
and packed as much as he could. I didn't
realize how much he took until he was
about an hour late coming home. After a
weekend and talking to people with
experience with this, I got nervous. I
was hearing all these scenarios where I
needed to find out if he was going to
work, check our bank accounts, close the
credit cards because as I'm finding out,
spending sprees are part of the manic
state. In doing all I could to try to
figure out the puzzle, I found out that
there was also another woman involved and
that they were maybe moving in together.
My heart broke and I was destroyed.
I didn't know what to think. Up to that
point I had been staying in our apartment
to show him that I did not leave and that
I was there waiting for him and wanted to
work with him to figure out what was
wrong. I hadn't seen any of this coming
and now am seeing a psychologist myself.
He does not take my calls or his family's.
He's shut us all out. I have a pretty
strong indication that he is bipolar
because his sibling also has it who has
been diagnosed and is undergoing
treatment. As I research it, I shake my
head because all the symptoms were there.
Everything up to this manic episode.
There are a lot of holes in what I know -
as far as this other woman, where he's
living, etc. Everything I hear is from
other people and I don't know what to
believe. I want to talk to him and show
him I'm here for support, even if it is
only as his friend. We were friends for
almost 10 years, I can't turn that off,
that caring. For a long time I was the
one he came to with his problems. The
infidelity, I don't know what to say about
that - it sucks yes - but do I attribute
that to his illness? Right now he isn't
the man I married. I feel like that man
has died and this illness has taken him
over. For the last 4 weeks I've been
mourning him. We don't have kids and
everyone is saying that it's best for me
to find out now. I know they have my best
interest at heart but how do I know when
to turn my back? He is my husband, and
most of all he is my friend. I want help
for him, even if that means the end of our
marriage. Getting him help is what's most
important to me right now.
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newbride807
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Feb 2008 Posts: 12
Posted: 02-16-08 12:08pm
I was behind on your story Junebug77. I
didn't read far enough to where you
announced your pending divorce. Good
luck. Knowing how hard it's been for me
for these 4 weeks, I can't imagine being a
single mom at the same time.
i'm sure you made
the right decision. you made a decision to
protect you and your children. it's OK to
grieve the loss of him. but maybe your
right about it not just being about bp...
ya know? i wish i could be a fly on the
wall for you. i know your heart is
breaking/broken. remember he left not you.
and that is just plain awful that his
family enables him like that. run don't
walk. sorry, i'm just mad for you. you
don't deserve this. we all love you!!!
