Jules
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Wrong to Put Child In a Religious Pre-school?
Posted: 12-06-07 11:20am
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I have posted this in parenting community
too but thought it raised an interesting
point to debate as well...
My husband and I are not religious at all.
We had Christian teaching at school but
not from our families and, when we grew
up, realised we did not believe in it
ourselves. We therefore chose not to get
our son, Max, christened.
Now, I have recently started taking Max
to a parent and toddler group which is
wonderful and he loves it. They say a
prayer before snack time which I don't
like much but just grin and bear it
because the rest of the time there are no
religious activities. There is a
pre-school in the same building which I
took Max to for an open day yesterday and
it looks fantastic. I wouldn't be
enrolling him until he is three which is
not til next March. Anyway, the problem
is that this pre-school identifies itself
as a Christian group so obviously it will
involve Christian teachings. I'm not sure
what to do about this. It looks like a
fantastic pre-school and the ladies that
run it are professional and kind and even
the other children look like they come
from 'good' families ie/ clean, polite and
well behaved. Some places can be really
rough and you can tell the parents aren't
bringing their children up to respect
others.
Is it wrong for me to put my son in a
Christian pre-school when we have no
religion? Will it brainwash him?
I'd love opinions!
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meblonde01
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Posted: 12-06-07 11:32am
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I don't think it is wrong, But I do think
you should expect some of the teachings to
rub off on him. Things said might stick
with him through-out his life, and when he
gets older he might decide religion is the
way of life he wants or he might choose
not. Some kids that where brought up with
religion simply don't believe nor follow
it when the get older some do. Some learn
it on there own after they grow up. I
think no matter what it is we instill into
our children that at one point they decide
it's for them or it's not. Our actions
and our thoughts about life, how we
portray ourselves reflexes what kind of a
person children turn out to be. Not so
much what they are told. When a mother or
father are racist, sometimes that turns a
child into wondering why their parent
where that way, but then for some children
they become racist too.
With it being pre-school he might not
remember a lot of it either..
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Tylanas
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Posted: 12-06-07 12:40pm
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I think the best thing you could to is ask
for the major curriculum that they teach.
If it seems too religious to you then
maybe another school is a better choice.
Many children don't stay as the religion
they are raised as; I didn't, and my
father who went through a very catholic
upbringing (including being taught by nuns
in elementary school!) is anything but
catholic lol.
It's all going to depend on your child's
personality. My father and I are
Analytical; thus we obsess over facts and
solid truths. Sensitive personalities
don't obsess as much and so may find they
like religion more than someone like me.
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marvel
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Posted: 12-06-07 14:26pm
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I don't really know.
I went to a Catholic school and was taught
by a couple of nuns during my childhood. I
was in Catholic school from the age of 3
until I was 18.
I think enrolling your child in a
Christian school is fine, as long as you,
at home, reinforce your belief that Max
can be whatever he wants to be, as long as
he's respectful. That's how my mom taught
us. Though we were being taught in a very
Catholic way, she encouraged us to
question what we were being taught. If we
disagreed, that was great, as long as we
weren't disrespectful. She helped us find
alternatives to what we disagreed with.
I have my qualms with religious education,
but as long as children have a solid
backing at home where they can dissect
what they're being taught at school, I
think it's great. I personally would
prefer putting my future children in the
public school system while teaching them
what the world has to offer spiritually at
home. But that's just me!
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Gu£st
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Posted: 12-06-07 14:45pm
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You answer the question re "brainwashing"
yourself, you were taught about
Christianity where you were educated, were
you brainwashed?
weather it is right for you to send your
son is a different matter
It depends on how you view christianity -
do you find it offensive, do you believe
it likely to make your son a bad person or
a good person, if he is exposed to
religion and he eventually became a
christian would you be opposed to that.
What it comes down to is do you think a
christian educatin would be a good
influence or a bad influence
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SmartyShirt
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Posted: 12-06-07 15:39pm
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u do whats best for ur kid
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Sandbox Party
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Posted: 12-06-07 17:03pm
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i think it will provide a good moral base
for him to grow up with.. they dont just
teach you GOD IS GREAT GOD IS GOOD they
teach you how to respect others, and to
treat others as u wish to be treated.
I went to a christian daycare that my
mother taught at when i was a child.
Im now agnostic.
My cousin also attended a private
christian school for grades K-4th.
Hes now a devout ATHIEST.
lol so no, dont worry about him growing up
to be the next Falwell. As long as u teach
him to be what HE feels is right, all will
be ok in the world. ^_^
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Birch
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Posted: 12-06-07 19:24pm
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I would personally not do it. Conflict of
interest.
While I think an education in major
religions is a necessary piece, I would
not enroll my child in a Christian
centered school because I have grave
concerns about the morals and ethics
taught within that environment. There are
reasons you have made the decision to bow
out of religion. I would revisit them
before making any decision.
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Georgia59
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Posted: 12-06-07 19:29pm
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I also would personally not do it.
Children are just too impressionable at
that age- and if openness is what you want
them to learn, a christian school just
doesn't seem the way to do it.
However, I think you could do it and still
manage to raise an open child.
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woops
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Posted: 12-06-07 19:30pm
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I just hope he doesn't grow into a little
piece of you know what.
And let's face it, religious or not, most
people are plain you know what, isn't that
what matters? If you had a choice of him
being religious and good, or not religious
and bad what would you do I wonder?
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Becky
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Posted: 12-07-07 06:25am
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What exactly is 'you know what' woops?!
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Lion79
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Posted: 12-07-07 09:48am
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I believe the parents are more
impressionable than a school.
I went to a catholic primary and secondary
school, and they made us say prayers
everyday and go to church sometimes.
Sometimes I did consider the possibility,
and even tried believing in it, and saying
prayers before I went to bed. But my
family didn't believe it at all, and when
I tried to believe in God it just didn't
work. When it was time for me to take my
first holy communion, my parents let me
decide if I wanted to or not (I didn't).
I'm also pretty open-minded (I'd like to
think anyway) so I don't think you have
any fear of that.
As long as the school isn't extreme, you
should be ok.
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Georgia59
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Posted: 12-07-07 13:41pm
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Woops- what about being non-religious and
good? There is such a thing...
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meblonde01
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Posted: 12-07-07 14:58pm
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I think no matter how a parent tries to
avoid their child being exposed to the
religon some time in their life it is
going to happen. And most kids when they
grow up will decide if that is something
they want to follow or not. Regardless of
their parents beliefs and input!
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sara19
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Posted: 12-07-07 16:54pm
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I went to an all-girls religious school
and my parents were very christian! And
though I grew up with the bible-thumping
mania, I am cherry-picker, and my two
brothers are die hard atheists, I really
do not think it makes a difference...there
were even some jewish and muslim girls in
my graduating class. One of them is now
training to be a Rabbi, sometimes it is
just a better education choice, the public
schools in my area were just awful.
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Verizon-y
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Posted: 12-07-07 23:30pm
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I would not do it. Here is an example of
why.
In first grade, my DD' best friend said to
my DD, "You cannot go to Heaven to be
with God because you were not baptized."
They were both 6. That actually unnerved
my daughter and she told me about it. I
took her into the bathroom and got my
fingers wet from the sink faucet. I
sprinkled her with water and said, You're
all set now."
She gave me a big smile and scampered
happily away to go play. But her little
friend REALLY believes what she said. She
really believes some people are going to
hell, etc. And that is from just a short
time in Catechism and Catholic Church once
a week. I feel badly for her, and I am
very glad my child is unburdened in that
respect.
As for teaching morals, etc., here is a
good example of why religion/belief in a
God is not necessary to accomplish this:
Alan
Dershowitz
IDEAS: Obviously, you don't think religion
necessary for morality.
DERSHOWITZ: Quite the opposite. You need
not to have religion to have morality.
Morality based on religion is often no
morality at all. If you do it because of
heaven or hell, or because an instruction
book told you to, it's not morality. It's
morality when you have decided yourself,
without benefits or threats, that this is
the right thing to do.
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Tylanas
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Posted: 12-08-07 00:03am
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I believe that quote so much...
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Sandbox Party
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Posted: 12-08-07 00:11am
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i personally beleive most religions scare
people into beleiving what they want them
to beleive so they do as they want them
to.
very cult-like.
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Georgia59
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Posted: 12-10-07 22:09pm
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Most? Can you name any other besides
christianity that does that?
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Tylanas
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Posted: 12-10-07 22:23pm
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Well the three main monotheist ones do,
Judeism Christianity and Islam. Aside from
that, I don't think many do.
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