Tough Situation...please Advise

May I ask what her reasoning is for thinking you should wait?

I was dreading that question....and we both acknowledge that she has good points...but....
We have been together a few years, but only married for about a month. We bought a house earlier this year, both have good paying, steady jobs.
She feels that we should take some more time to ourselves and that we are too young....which, may be true....but we have discussed this a lot and feel we are prepared, emotionally and financially

Honestly, it is your decision not hers, if you and hubby feel like you're ready then go right ahead

You are right in saying that she has a good point. But I honestly think that if the two of you feel that you are ready then go for it. My husband and I are in a similar situation. We have been married for just over two months and we close on our very first house a week from tomorrow. We both have good paying steady jobs as do the two of you. We also started talking about having a family together and wanted to start trying. We were afraid that his parents woould be upset with us when we did get pregnant because of the situation. However, a week and a half ago we found out that I am in fact pregnant. I was more than happy to call my family then and tell them. But with his parents we took our time and made sure that we got to tell them in person so that we could more comfortably talk to them about it. They are both being very supportive of our decision and are very excited to be grandparents again (his brother has three children). I hope that knowing you arent the only one in this situation helps. Good luck with this decision and with ttc when the time is right.

Thank you, I appreciate you sharing your story. It does help. But my mother was also against us getting married (and we were engaged for over a year) and then, when the time came, she was wonderful!!! So I am just nervous and we both still want to stick with the original plan, but I don't want to hide the fact that we are ttc from her!!!

How old are you? If you don't mind me asking...

I know I'm asking a lot of personal questions, but I want to be able to help, and my advice would vary depending on some of the answers.

We are 19 and 23. We are young...I realize this and we aren't in a hurry, if we don't get pregnant for another 2 years, we will be okay...but we want to be able to try....

i was the same way im close to my mom and always wanted to do things her way so shed be happy but it makes me unhappy so i started sdoinign things my way so now im happy do what you think is best for you not her ok you will feel better in the end you are a grown women and she needs to realize that if she gets mad then she wil miss out on her grandchild cause once that baby is here her heart will melt away the anger then.

We started ttc after being married for 3 months. I was 20 at the time. So, I may be slightly biased.

I think that if you and your husband have discussed things, and it is something you both want, don't let anyone stop you. Moms are always there to give advice and support. But there are some issues, that we have to decide for ourselves. You have heard and respect what your mother is saying, but it isn't her decision. And I'm sure she will respect that.

I suggest you just tell her. Tell her you to have decided to 'let things happen'. If she tries to tell you not to, just tell her that you understand what she is saying. However, you have discussed things with your husband and you have decided that it is something you two want to do. I'm sure she will understand. But, I don't suggest hiding it. It will just drive you crazy.

Well, I emailed my mom about the situation and here is her reply (she had me when she was 19 and my sister when she was 34):
I love you and want you and Adam to do whatever you guys want that will make you happy. The ONLY reason I do not want you to have any children for a while is so you and Adam can have a while to ENJOY each other. Being a mother is a lot of work and is easier when you are older--at least for me. You yourself have commented on the difference between how you were treated and Jessi is treated, it is simply a more laid back position I am in. When you remove some of your stresses (money, free time, job security) it is easier to devote more quality time and attention to your children.
I love babies and will always welcome one. I just want you and Adam to be able to enjoy each other before you have children. There is TONS of time for babies. But, you are both adults and both should know the responsibilities that come with a child and the finances they involve.($100 + per week for care) The decision should not be taken lightly if it is a life long commitment that can not be given back.

--All of that is VERY true and we have taken all into consideration. It is just nice knowing she won't shun us or our decision. We are sticking with our original plan to start ttc soon.

Well that is good news. She is doing her job as a mother and making sure you are looking at all aspects. But, she phrased things beautifully. And she was correct. But you seem to have already discussed all of this with your dh.

So, welcome to the TTC world!! It can be hell. Trust me. I thought it would be easy because I'm young...no such luck. But I hope it comes easy for you.

If you have any questions feel free to pm me or post over in the Getting Pregnant Forum.

~Baby Dust~

Thank you so much! All of you girls have been a God Send!! : )
I hope things start looking up for you- mc4ever...I have been following some of your posts in Getting Pregnant! Lots of Baby Dust!

good luck TTC