I have a huge problem right this very moment! Yesterday my girlfriend hit me, i dont mean just punch or slap but attacked me. She held me down and kicked me hit me scratched me. It has happend before but i hoped it would stop, i threatend her that i will hit her back if she doesnt stop.

So after it happend last night i couldnt stop thinking about it after she had gone to bed. Then i did something terrible! I went to confront her. I asked her if she can see the scar on my face and to apologise, she said that she cant see it and said "Those are just pimples" Geez i did something bad. I Grabbed her violently and gave her a hard shake that hurt her alot! And said: "You never hit me again!" She started to cry uncontrollably like i had punched her in the face or something although i didnt. She threw a plate at me, a cooldrink bottle hit me with a gholfclub and sprayed me with pepperspray. Smsed someone that i was abuse and hitting her and broke of our engagement, although she asked me to sleep next to her in bed?! i did,we sleep in the same bed every night. We've been together for 5years are engaged love each other to death, she was my first and only and i was hers! we've never made love to anyone else. We bought an expensive home together that we will not be able to affort if we split. This happend yesterday what do i do? She already said that we are over forever and regrets that she met me. I feel like an abuser! I feel really messed up and confused. What do i do??