This is very interesting, thank you for posting this. I experienced a certain level of depersonalisation when I was suffering from depression (am on an SNRI now and feel great!). Although it was not as severe as that which you have described, I can empathise with you. It's a strange feeling and I found it frightening at times but, strangely, quite comforting at others. It was as if I was not part of the real world and therefore it could not hurt me.

I'm on it

I think we need to raise the awareness of this condition. It can be a terrifying condition to have, especially when physicians, friends etc can pinpoint what it is.

I will also say that increasing paranoia was developed before I was treated... I was afraid if I went to sleep I would not wake up. I was paranoid I had some kind of brain damage or tumor, a stroke, parasites in my brain, etc... had an MRI, and EEG, nothing wrong. Then I was paranoid of obtaining brain damage... I wouldn't go outside after it had rained as I was afraid of slipping and acquiring brain damage. I was afraid to plug electrical cords into outlets. Constant fear and anxiety and paranoia... odd bodily sensations.

So if you're experiencing something similar, discuss it here. We can help eachother out. There are also useful forums and such devoted to depersonalization/derealization.

oh yeah I can relate to both depersonalization and derealization. combined with anxiety and depression it caused me to not trust anyone anound me. extreme paranoia. constantly wondering what was real what had meaning what were lies. What happened to me is it escalated to a point where I didn't even trust myself or my thoughts--rightly so, because they were completly detached from reality.
what caused it for me was going off of antidepressants and marijuana use- for sure. it was like a constant trance. But then I would understand my irrationality and beat myself up for it. Caused me to have to take a medical leave from college.
I think that there is not enough information about these subjects- nor do people understand the cycle of mental torture linked to it. having one foot in reality and one on a distant planet is hard to cope with

That was a good description.

my whole life i have felt normal until now! for the past 8 months i have experienced what i think is anxiety...and now i feel as if im battling depression. it started with not being able to breath, forgetting little things, my mind going blank, getting dizzy when going into stores, my heart fluttering on occasions, thinking im losing my mind, and for the past 2 weeks i feel as if im lost in a dream...i often question life and who i am and everyone else around me.. im in constant pain and sadness and confusion because my entire life i have felt normal until now! it really is a struggle and i feel sleeping is the only way to get away from it. i constantly think im going to die and im scared of this...and just wish to not have this feeling anymore. this shouldn't be the case, i am only a 19 year old girl who wants to live her life the the fullest...does this feeling ever go away? i want to be myself again i went to the er the other night because i was trembling and couldn't take the feeling anymore and the drs prescribed my zoloft and said im suffering from depression and anxiety. i did lose both my parents, my mom in march of 2007 and my dad in july 2007, when the symptoms of anxiety first began. it has come to a point where i don't want to deal with it anymore and life has gotten extrememly hard. i haven't taken the zoloft because i have a physical in 2 days and im waiting to see what my doctor says...and make sure everything else is ok with my body. im thinking of trying lexapro because my brother was on it and he said it really helped him with his anxiety symptoms. i think i have experienced 2 or 3 panic attacks in the last 8 months but recently the only thing bothering me is the feeling of being in a dream, not knowing myself, and feeling sad,hopeless,and like theres nothing i can do about this. i was on ortha evra birth control for little over a year and right when my anxiety symptoms started, i decided to stop it thinking that was the problem. ever since then i have just kept getting worse... i really don't know what to think anymore!!! has anyone else experienced this and been able to get rid of the horrible thoughts constantly in your head that you're living in a dream??? im scared its never going to go away...maybe it could be a chemical imbalance??

It sounds like classic anxiety and depression and after the loss of both your parents in quick succession, I am not at all surprised you are experiencing this reaction.

What worked best of all for me was CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - and that was after a very long time of suffering exactly what you are describing. I was given tranquilisers, antidepressants, sleep therapy, psychiatric assessment and of course, endless trips to ER as I was sure I was having a heart attack/ stroke or suffering from impending madness etc - you know the sort of thing.

You need to talk to someone who can help you confront your loss and your fears, your need to express your grief, your loss of control and perhaps even your anger.

You need to take little baby steps out of this, but if you can recognise small achievements every day, your confidence will come back and you will be able to accept these feelings of unreality and depersonalisation as just your subconscious mind's way of protecting you from further hurt.

Some good talk therapy can help you build up your confidence and show you that there is a way out of this. I wish you all the best .

did you ever feel better? like back to your "normal self" cus before i started feeling like this..thats what i think was "NORMAL" how a person should live...now im just really confused about everything should i ask my dr for a referal for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy?
and did any medication help you??

Yes, I feel much better now - I feel there is purpose in life and I do not get those awful panic attacks (unless I m about to board a plane!)

My employers paid for my CBT counselling as otherwsie I would have had to wait several months and they wanted me back to work quickly!

My GP also gave me Trazodone as a light sedative for night. It is not narcotic but a very mild anti-depressant. Many of my symptoms were excacerbated by lack of sleep so it helped in the sense that it relaxed me at night and made me WANT to sleep, rather than lie awake worrying about dying in my sleep!

In time, as your mind and body begin to relax, all these strange sensations you are having will disappear.

It's so reassuring to come across people who are going through the same feelings. The forums on anxiety/panic attacks saved me from a emergency visit tonight.
I've been having attacks on and off for like 4 years and I have different symptoms. I know an attack is coming because my lip or pinky finger gets a tingling feeling which later turns to a numbness.
But the most scary issues aren't the breathing or heart racing... Mine are the facial nerves start to numb and tingle. This scares me and makes me think I am having a stroke, and everytime I am always told, "not at your age". I've had CT scans, EKG's. Zoloft made me sleepy, Paxil gave me headaches, Celexia made me lose me sex drive. Soon I quit everything and said I would just suffer from them. They went away for almost a year, and recently started back. I have been taking Magnesium B-Complex as advised by my last physician. But when I haven't taken them regularly the problems come back. For some reason I still fear the symptoms because like everyone say, "I might actually be suffering from some under lying condition that's being overlooked".
So thank everyone for your posts and advice, they have helped me tonight.

For the past month i felt like my life has been hell. Antiquerose, i know exactly what you are talking about with your dream like feeling. I feel as though everything feels like i am in a dream. Nothing seems real to me and i cannot stop thinking about this terrifying feeling. I cannot get away from it even in my sleep, i constantly dream about the feeling of not being normal or really there. It al started when i had a panic attack while driving then instantly i went into a dream like feeling of everything not really feeling real. For a month now i have tried hypnosis,acupuncture,and have been on Effexor for 3 weeks. I feel as though nothing will work to stop these terrifying obsessive thoughts. Some times i get sooo deep into thoughts that i question myself am i really alive. I just want my old life back and want to feel normal. I then get depressed at times when i look at my friends and my boyfriend and feel as though nothing really feels real..i often feel like i am alone even though my boyfriend may be right in fron of me? If any one has any suggestions please help???? Thanks.

Great thread gang. I also have this and am on Depakote and Seraquil. Works wonders for me. I not half as parnoid as I use to be. I had Agoraphobia big time. Now I am outside all the time at stores and working in the yard. It is a horrible illness to live with.

Hi,
I just posted above about my daughter telling me that she doesn't feel like herself. And, although I have General Anxiety Disorder, as she does, I wasn't familiar with this symptom.
She has been a bit anxious since the school year ended, and instead of being happy w/ the summer vacation, she is anxious. She "seems" happy, but she keeps telling me that she feels like people aren't real, and she is in a dream. I wasn't really familiar until I read this post. I wouldn't call her case a severe case of depersonalization, but I think I'm on the right track with it. I hope more people will post about it as well. I would love to know how to teach her to cope with it.

I found this post from two years ago when searching "depersonalization" in the archives. This one really explained this phenomenon to me, and maybe it will help someone else here...


"When I first began suffering with anxiety and panic attacks, one of the scariest sensations I came across was that of unreality/depersonalization/derealization. Of course, I had never heard these terms at that time, and had no idea what the problem was (actually thought I was going crazy!). This excerpt is from mc2method.Com/anxiety - I think some of you will find it useful if you're experiencing such sensations: "do you sometimes feel like you or your environment are unreal? Or that there is a disconnect between the two? This dreamlike sensation can be rather disturbing, especially if you interpret it to be the onset of serious mental illness. However, it is much more likely that what you're experiencing is the common anxiety sensation of unreality, often referred to as depersonalization or derealization. In most cases, sensations of depersonalization result from the introversion that anxiety cultivates. Anxious people tend to become so preoccupied with worrisome thoughts, body sensations, and adverse emotions, that their awareness becomes increasingly directed within themselves, rather than on the outside world. And this inner focus increases as inner turmoil grows. With time, you may become so consumed by your inner mental/emotional world that the outer world begins to take on an air of unreality. When this sensation of unreality is encountered, a typical anxious response is to become fearful that you're going crazy or losing your mind. But that increased anxiety just fuels the introversion causing the sensation. Yes, it can be quite frightening, but know that there is a vast difference between the simple sensation of unreality, and true insanity. When you encounter this sensation, remind yourself that it is a common anxiety symptom that will disappear once you've resolved the anxiety itself." hope that info helps one or some of you out there - sometimes it comforting just to know that what we're experiencing is not abnormal."

i am feeling similiar to what has already been said. the thing is that my "panic attacks" or "anxiety attacks" just started recently, or in the past month or two. I play tennis, and in one of my matches it seemed like my arms were detached from my body, like the feeling of being high sort of but scary! i wasn't in any pain but i felt really unreal like i was in a dream, and before that I had been feeling sortof in a dream, like almost ADD like i would be "living" but not "really" living. Anyways, I had to forfit the match because i thought in my mind like i was gonna pass out, but than later realized that I wasn't. At school, in my classes I would feel strange like my hands were not connected to my body anymore like they could float around and had no feeling but i knew they couldn't in my mind. I thought that it was strange that my attacks would only happen during tennis. Thinking that it was because I wasn't eating enough, and I was just light headed, I played my second tennis match, and the same thing happened but I tried to ignore it, and guess what? Nothing happened. I didn't die, throw up, faint, pass out, or fall or anything. But it is one of the most distracting, uncomfortable, weirdest feelings ever. I played my singles match and my doubles match and everything was fine. It did effect my game though, I lost really badly because I just wanted it to be over with. I would just sit and cry and want my life back! I felt like I was wasting my time for how young I am! Like i wasn't "living" anymore. I have always been a HUGE worrier, scared of thunderstorms, rollercoasters, being alone, scary movies, public presentations, just anything. My mom kept telling me that it was because of stress but I was in the biggest denial because i thought WHY ME? All of my friends and everyone goes through stress and has anxiety before big games, or tests or anything. I was thinking, how can something mental effect me physically, that just seemed to impossible! I went to my doctor and I told her my out-of-body experiences, and she said that I was for sure having anxiety attacks. I still wasn't sure how to take this, but she has put me on Lexapro, and the attacks have not occured but I am either thinking they are happening but not sure if they are, or just waiting for them to happening. Meanwhile, for about a week after my first anxiety attack, I started feeling so unreal, not light headed or anything just so weird, my thoughts were so strong towards life, I thought about my every move, like my hands were not connected to me, even though they really were, my throat seemed like like it was closing sometimes, I would wake up and find my hands and arms feeling so weird, and detached and not apart of me, almost numb. I honestly thought that I was going crazy, like my mind was so clustered with so many thoughts. This wasn't me! I have never felt this way. I have been playing tennis since I was five years old and I never ever got this way on the court. LIfe seemed to fast. Weeks were going by and I was living them, but not realizing it. Hopefully, I can live my life. Lexapro takes 7 days to start being effective and working. I am on my tenth day and I must say I do feel better, we will just have to see how it effects my thinking process and most of all, my tennis game. Does anybody have any input or any help or comments, i am desperate!

i am feeling similiar to what has already been said. the thing is that my "panic attacks" or "anxiety attacks" just started recently, or in the past month or two. I play tennis, and in one of my matches it seemed like my arms were detached from my body, like the feeling of being high sort of but scary! i wasn't in any pain but i felt really unreal like i was in a dream, and before that I had been feeling sortof in a dream, like almost ADD like i would be "living" but not "really" living. Anyways, I had to forfit the match because i thought in my mind like i was gonna pass out, but than later realized that I wasn't. At school, in my classes I would feel strange like my hands were not connected to my body anymore like they could float around and had no feeling but i knew they couldn't in my mind. I thought that it was strange that my attacks would only happen during tennis. Thinking that it was because I wasn't eating enough, and I was just light headed, I played my second tennis match, and the same thing happened but I tried to ignore it, and guess what? Nothing happened. I didn't die, throw up, faint, pass out, or fall or anything. But it is one of the most distracting, uncomfortable, weirdest feelings ever. I played my singles match and my doubles match and everything was fine. It did effect my game though, I lost really badly because I just wanted it to be over with. I would just sit and cry and want my life back! I felt like I was wasting my time for how young I am! Like i wasn't "living" anymore. I have always been a HUGE worrier, scared of thunderstorms, rollercoasters, being alone, scary movies, public presentations, just anything. My mom kept telling me that it was because of stress but I was in the biggest denial because i thought WHY ME? All of my friends and everyone goes through stress and has anxiety before big games, or tests or anything. I was thinking, how can something mental effect me physically, that just seemed to impossible! I went to my doctor and I told her my out-of-body experiences, and she said that I was for sure having anxiety attacks. I still wasn't sure how to take this, but she has put me on Lexapro, and the attacks have not occured but I am either thinking they are happening but not sure if they are, or just waiting for them to happening. Meanwhile, for about a week after my first anxiety attack, I started feeling so unreal, not light headed or anything just so weird, my thoughts were so strong towards life, I thought about my every move, like my hands were not connected to me, even though they really were, my throat seemed like like it was closing sometimes, I would wake up and find my hands and arms feeling so weird, and detached and not apart of me, almost numb. I honestly thought that I was going crazy, like my mind was so clustered with so many thoughts. This wasn't me! I have never felt this way. I have been playing tennis since I was five years old and I never ever got this way on the court. LIfe seemed to fast. Weeks were going by and I was living them, but not realizing it. Hopefully, I can live my life. Lexapro takes 7 days to start being effective and working. I am on my tenth day and I must say I do feel better, we will just have to see how it effects my thinking process and most of all, my tennis game. Does anybody have any input or any help or comments, i am desperate!

Just please know that SOO many people feel or have felt like you do and live perfectly normal, happy lives! You are not going crazy, although sometimes it may feel like it! It is anxiety, and it's hard, and sometimes you don't feel like yourself. I understand that you just want it to be over, but just breathe and give yourself tiime. Knowing what the problem is is half the battle, and you've figured that part out. Keep posting here, try to relax your body from time to time, and look around you. You are fine, really.

for the last six years i have been unable to work due to this horrible condition. sometimes i could just scream for it to stop . its so intruding. i feel outside my body , pins and needles,get jumpy around people,have constant bad feelings, dizziness,dry throat and mouth, palpitations,sweats and the list goes on.its so horrible a nd ruins my life.i hate it so much. im on medication propanolol and anti depressants and naramig for the stress migraines i get too but recently i have felt orse so i cant go into shops without wanting to run out them etc. so im gonna phone my gp first thing and explain everything so heres hoping i can battle this horrible condition asap . good luck all...keep in touch .

Hi, I'm 19 and I've been feeling everything everyone has described and in a way, it's comforting. The feeling of hopelessness, insanity, depression, dream-like world, you name it. Like many others, it started because of drug use ( mostly marijuana). I began having these terrible spells about a year ago and they progressively got worse. I moved to college, got my own place, and everything seemed to be going swimmingly, until these awful anxiety attacks came back to haunt me when i would try to sleep. I'll try to describe the feeling to maybe help others feel less alone- for me, it starts as a small worry about having the attack, then you work yourself up into the attack( or however it may happen to you) and the feeling is indescribable. It's as though you receive another persons thought, while still trying to make sense of what you yourself were just thinking. Not to mention the pulsating heartbeat! I've found a probable cause is the fear of going insane, losing my mind completely, but it doesn't happen like that! A method I find useful, considering I'd rather not try to cure or mask the problem with drugs, is take a step back from this tornado of worry and have a cold glass of water. Take a deep breathe, look at a childhood picture and realize you're still you! It seems impossible to sway this feeling but little steps do help. I still experience these from time to time, but I'm trying to get deep down and cure it myself. To me, it seems like the only person who can cure it in the long run is you. It certainly helps to talk to people about it, to let you know you're not actually crazy, and who can give you ideas. You've got to got to realize that nobody truly knows what the hell is really going on, so it seems that the only way to really rid the shid is to understand the world in your own eyes, that way you can truly know what you're feeling and thinking. Maybe this was just a coping mechanism.. just a bunch of jib, but it surprisingly helped me to what was about to be an anxiety attack at the beginning of this! Hope this helps <3