I am running into the problem of my son wanting to hit me,especially in my face. He also refuses to listen (mind) & it is a major struggle to get him to go asleep. I have tried since he was first getting around to get him to mind. Is it just the terrible two's starting? Swatting him only upsets him.
He is not in a crib anymore, so I can't palce him there. Any ideas will be appreciated!
There is nothing wrong with a little tap on the bum, and of course this is going to upset him....it doesn't hurt, but it is more the psychological fact that he has been told that he can't...that your will is going to be dominating his. Even tho he doesn't understand the why, he knows the consequences.
Whatever you do, you must be consistent with the punishment and nip it in the bud every time. You can also try the alternative method of catching his hand before he hits or at least on a repeat hit....hold his hand. Let him know that you are the stronger person and that you will not let go unless he gives up the behavior. Squat down and get onto his eye level in front of him. Say in a very firm, low tone, what you expect, such as " (whatever his name is) Don't hit" ...or something to that effect. Make him look you in the eye. When it looks like he has calmed down or you feel like he can be let go, release his hitting hand and see what happens.
IF he continues to hit after this, take a hold of him again and repeat. It will take a little while, but being firm and consistant should take care of it eventually.
time out is affective if you use it right. If he does something bad, don't let him play with anything for 5 minutes while sitting in the corner. If he doesn't sit there, give him a little tap on the bum, like mommashoe said. He should learn to not do anything bad if he wants to continue playing. If it's really bad, like he hits you in the face, make it 10 or even 15 minutes. It will seem like an eternity to him. I was always punished with a nice hard couple smacks to the bum AND sent to my room for a good half hour, so it's not gonna hurt him.
Haysmom, Time out is a really good idea BUT time out times are ONE MINUTE for every Year of your childs life please dont put a two year old in time out for 15minutes. He will not learn anything from that as he will forget why he is there in the first place. my son is 15mths old and does smack me in the face (not hard) but i always look him in the eye say "NO" dont shout but be firm. then tell him to say sorry (as he's only 15mths that means i get a kiss and hug as he can't talk yet)if he does it again i make him sit next to me on the settee that way i can keep an eye on him. a tap on the hand wont harm him either.
Another thing i would advise is NEVER punish him by sending him to his room. His bedroom should always be somewhere "safe" and "fun" if he associates his room with being told off he'll never want to go there and you'll always have problems getting him to sleep. I have a four yr old and he has never been sent to his room and He's never had any problems going to bed.
As your boy gets older just keep with time out but you may want to move it from settee to bottom of the stairs or in the hall way. somewhere close by so you can keep an eye on him but far enough awway so he knows he's done wrong. Also with time out always make sure he knows why he is there, and you get an apology from him. Plus he also needs a warning first. make sure you tell him to stop what he's doing or else he'll get a time out.
Hope this works for you. It has worked for me for the last 4.5 years.
A little smack on the hand or bottom don't really hurt, but we have found that making our 2 yr old granddaughter sit down for 2 mins works wonders!! We explain why she has to sit(You can't hit people, etc) and for every time she gets up we put her back in the chair and time starts over. She has come to understand that if she sits there nicely she gets out and that she can't do whatever it was anymore. You just have to be consistent with any type of discipline.....that's what counts.
23 months is a tough age, they really don't understand much punishment. I did my best to just distract my daughter when she went through her hell-on-wheels phase around that age. I'd also always put her down (she liked to be held), tell her "NO" firmly and then talk about how it hurts mommy when she does whatever.
A tap on the butt wouldn't have any affect on my kid (she wouldn't have cared), and I think at 23 months they're too young to really get it anyway. It sounds like a little spank doesn't help your situation at all right now (not to mention, I really don't think that hitting is a good way to teach a kid not to hit) so you might as well just drop it and if you beleive strongly in spanking as a form of discipline maybe give it a shot in another year when he has a more clear understanding of why.
I'm sure it's just a phase and he'll grow out of it quickly. Enjoy it while it lasts, next comes biting ;P
my son is going through the same, he's 22mths now.He hurt his hand when he was little on a piece of glass, we taught him this was and "ouch" and I would kiss it better for him, now whenever he does something bold or gets in trouble, or doesnt get his own way he wollops his hand of the nearest object and cries at me to say Im hurt kiss it better!!!
I think its his way of distracting me from the fact that he is being bold so he can get his own way, he has also slapped me in the face a few times and when this happens it straight into bed with no privileges, and a tap on the bum, I know time outs are a min per year but I tried that with the little guy, it didnt work he would come out and do exactly what he was doing to be put in there in the first place, so now it a simply case of when you stop crying and screaming you can come out to play, this worked, killed me the first few times and my partner had to make me stay out of the room, but he knows now the quicker he stops crying the quicker he can rejoin the fun, consistancy and stenght as well as been firm seems to be the best route, plus the odd tap on the nappy never did any harm. hope this helps.