Proper Punishment For a 23 Month Old Posted: 12-01-07 02:46am
I am running into the problem of my son
wanting to hit me,especially in my face.
He also refuses to listen (mind) & it
is a major struggle to get him to go
asleep. I have tried since he was first
getting around to get him to mind. Is it
just the terrible two's starting? Swatting
him only upsets him.
He is not in a crib anymore, so I can't
palce him there. Any ideas will be
appreciated!
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rooted
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Posted: 01-24-08 13:39pm
What kinds of limits does he respect?
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mominashoe
Moderator
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 1687 Location: , KS USA
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Posted: 01-24-08 13:50pm
There is nothing wrong with a little tap
on the bum, and of course this is going to
upset him....it doesn't hurt, but it is
more the psychological fact that he has
been told that he can't...that your will
is going to be dominating his. Even tho
he doesn't understand the why, he knows
the consequences.
Whatever you do, you must be consistent
with the punishment and nip it in the bud
every time. You can also try the
alternative method of catching his hand
before he hits or at least on a repeat
hit....hold his hand. Let him know that
you are the stronger person and that you
will not let go unless he gives up the
behavior. Squat down and get onto his eye
level in front of him. Say in a very
firm, low tone, what you expect, such as "
(whatever his name is) Don't hit" ...or
something to that effect. Make him look
you in the eye. When it looks like he has
calmed down or you feel like he can be let
go, release his hitting hand and see what
happens.
IF he continues to hit after this, take a
hold of him again and repeat. It will
take a little while, but being firm and
consistant should take care of it
eventually.
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Lilly Ivy
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Joined: 09 Aug 2007 Posts: 1526 Location: Moorefield, WV
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Posted: 01-29-08 19:37pm
time out is affective if you use it right.
If he does something bad, don't let him
play with anything for 5 minutes while
sitting in the corner. If he doesn't sit
there, give him a little tap on the bum,
like mommashoe said. He should learn to
not do anything bad if he wants to
continue playing. If it's really bad, like
he hits you in the face, make it 10 or
even 15 minutes. It will seem like an
eternity to him. I was always punished
with a nice hard couple smacks to the bum
AND sent to my room for a good half hour,
so it's not gonna hurt him.
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Galaxy
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Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 512 Location: U.K,
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Posted: 01-29-08 19:52pm
You are not really allowed to hit your
child at all here in the UK but do you
know, I think a little smack when they are
2 would save a lifetime of problems.
I do not approve of shouting at a child
though, but that seems to be a common
occurence where I live.
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Ginge31
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 5 Location: , England
Punishment for child Posted: 02-03-08 18:33pm
Haysmom, Time out is a really good idea
BUT time out times are ONE MINUTE for
every Year of your childs life please dont
put a two year old in time out for
15minutes. He will not learn anything
from that as he will forget why he is
there in the first place. my son is
15mths old and does smack me in the face
(not hard) but i always look him in the
eye say "NO" dont shout but be firm. then
tell him to say sorry (as he's only 15mths
that means i get a kiss and hug as he
can't talk yet)if he does it again i make
him sit next to me on the settee that way
i can keep an eye on him. a tap on the
hand wont harm him either.
Another thing i would advise is NEVER
punish him by sending him to his room.
His bedroom should always be somewhere
"safe" and "fun" if he associates his room
with being told off he'll never want to go
there and you'll always have problems
getting him to sleep. I have a four yr
old and he has never been sent to his room
and He's never had any problems going to
bed.
As your boy gets older just keep with
time out but you may want to move it from
settee to bottom of the stairs or in the
hall way. somewhere close by so you can
keep an eye on him but far enough awway
so he knows he's done wrong. Also with
time out always make sure he knows why he
is there, and you get an apology from him.
Plus he also needs a warning first. make
sure you tell him to stop what he's doing
or else he'll get a time out.
Hope this works for you. It has worked
for me for the last 4.5 years.
Good luck
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mrs_jenjen
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2008 Posts: 13 Location: Georgia, U.S.A.
Posted: 02-03-08 19:13pm
A little smack on the hand or bottom don't
really hurt, but we have found that making
our 2 yr old granddaughter sit down for 2
mins works wonders!! We explain why she
has to sit(You can't hit people, etc) and
for every time she gets up we put her back
in the chair and time starts over. She has
come to understand that if she sits there
nicely she gets out and that she can't do
whatever it was anymore. You just have to
be consistent with any type of
discipline.....that's what counts.
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prettygirlygirl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2006 Posts: 213
Posted: 02-28-08 22:25pm
23 months is a tough age, they really
don't understand much punishment. I did my
best to just distract my daughter when she
went through her hell-on-wheels phase
around that age. I'd also always put her
down (she liked to be held), tell her "NO"
firmly and then talk about how it hurts
mommy when she does whatever.
A tap on the butt wouldn't have any affect
on my kid (she wouldn't have cared), and I
think at 23 months they're too young to
really get it anyway. It sounds like a
little spank doesn't help your situation
at all right now (not to mention, I really
don't think that hitting is a good way to
teach a kid not to hit) so you might as
well just drop it and if you beleive
strongly in spanking as a form of
discipline maybe give it a shot in another
year when he has a more clear
understanding of why.
I'm sure it's just a phase and he'll grow
out of it quickly. Enjoy it while it
lasts, next comes biting ;P
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binxeo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Mar 2008 Posts: 6
Posted: 03-18-08 04:23am
my son is going through the same, he's
22mths now.He hurt his hand when he was
little on a piece of glass, we taught him
this was and "ouch" and I would kiss it
better for him, now whenever he does
something bold or gets in trouble, or
doesnt get his own way he wollops his hand
of the nearest object and cries at me to
say Im hurt kiss it better!!!
I think its his way of distracting me
from the fact that he is being bold so he
can get his own way, he has also slapped
me in the face a few times and when this
happens it straight into bed with no
privileges, and a tap on the bum, I know
time outs are a min per year but I tried
that with the little guy, it didnt work he
would come out and do exactly what he was
doing to be put in there in the first
place, so now it a simply case of when you
stop crying and screaming you can come out
to play, this worked, killed me the first
few times and my partner had to make me
stay out of the room, but he knows now the
quicker he stops crying the quicker he can
rejoin the fun, consistancy and stenght as
well as been firm seems to be the best
route, plus the odd tap on the nappy never
did any harm. hope this helps.
binx
