I am writing today because I need some advice in how to handle better my best friend's disease. She has been bulimic for the past 2.5 years. She is a beautiful, intelligent, 23 year old girl, who suffered child sexual abuse for 10 years of her life. She is very aware of her condition, and she knows a lot about the reasons why bulimia seems as a good way out.However, I fear that the 'temporary control' that the disease provides, will eventually control her. She has more positive episodes than negative ones, to tell the truth, but still, every time she is faced with some sort of stressful situations in which is out of her hands, she binges and or purges.
We live in the same house, we are best friends and very honest with each other. She never hides any episode, and I don't ask anything unless she comes first and let me know about it. I usually leave it up to her to decide what to get for the house as far as groceries are concerned. Not much, actually. She prefers keeping the fridge less full even if it's healthy food. Junks have no place at our house, but as u know, that doesnt mean much, because if she feels threaten, she will go out and get them.
I am very supportive, understanding, and I am really determined to help her through this. However, even though I learn a lot from the whole situation on how to deal with her, I still don't know how to handle well when she is feeling down due to binging. I feel so bad for her, and I want to confort her, but she is always very moody in those situations. It's hard on me because it really affects me. Her self esteem is so damaged, she sees herself totally unworth of any support when she has a negative episode. It's tough! Even if I try to help her focus on how she is feeling other than the behavior itself, sometimes I get discouraged due to her strong personality. She has this belief in her mind that she is bad, she has always being bad. And of course I understand where this comes from, but I feel I want to do something to boost her self esteem. She is a wonderful human being, but it's very hard for her to see other than what the outside shows.
I try to respect her decisions, but I want to be able to cope better, because I want to be usefull, and more important, I want to see her out of this cycle! I just feel I need some help in order to support my best friend. I love her a lot, and I want to see her happy. So, please, if you have any comments or advice at all, it will be much appreciated.
Take care,
nina