I wonder how you are getting on stephen777 ?,
I've looked for information on 'something' on the net for my own problems and found this thread, how would i know what i'm looking for i'm no doctor! i just have no-one to talk to about it. I can relate almost 100% to what you saying has happened except for the physical side. I seem to argue with mine almost every single day. She starts out very elated normally, when she�s elated i know from experience of 5 years the next thing that comes will be a big drop in mood usually started with an argument. she gets very excited and it's very hard not to tell her to calm down a bit, when i do tell her to calm down a bit (nicely) she says i am trying to control her and starts raising her voice and bieng more annoying, almost purposely if you know what i mean to see when i will give in, she takes the arguments to a level of swearing in your face and calling you hurtful names and saying she wants to end this relationship and sell the house, it really hurts you know. i would never have sworn first i would have tryed to keep my calm, I just want to diffuse her anger and live peacefully and happily. i find it very hard to communicate without her bieng abusive to settle a simple disagreement, I know if I don�t agree with her (most of the time) I will more than likely end up in an argument saying that I am trying to �control her�.
She has phases where one week she�s great, then the next week its all hell on earth at home.
I am now having a week off work on holiday and so far we have argued almost every day over trivial stuff that you would think is not worth arguing about, honestly!, you feel any other person would talk it about it rationally.
In the end i sometimes give in and swear back and call her names its very hard when someone is telling you to f off at full volume and saying that she�s not putting up with this and cant cope with it, day after day, week after week, year after year its the same thing. At christmas because i did not buy her a present she liked, in front of her daughter (16Yo) she told me to f off to my mothers for xmas and then went and got into her bed and was inconsolable and saying again 'i always do this i never 'listen' to her' and am uselss and she wants to end us and sell etc, because shes 'not' putting up with this. I made every effort to make sure everyone had a present at xmas and all the food was brought and I did the cooking aswell and did what I could, so when that happened its like you open yourself up and give as much as you can to try and make it a good day for everyone especially to her because you know she is very tempromental at that point it feels like she just stuck a knife in your heart its very demeaning and frustrating, your left explaining to her that you did as best you could and you hadn�t done anything wrong and she just continues the shouting and wearing until I usually exit the house. I come back later and she�s all changed and calm, I know if I mention it it will bring up another argument, so I just try to be reassuring and I forget it and move on.
This morning it was because I made a comment on her splashing the bathroom floor, I said I should �give her a good thrashing!� now.. that was me being confident and jokey (trying to hold my confidence I am!).. and I then went to the shop , by the time I returned she was crying and again I had �ruined her day� by saying that .. I immidiately said I didn�t mean it like that and I would never or have never done that etc, and she took it the wrong way.. so you go to hug her she pushes you away and starts swearing.. and uncontrollably bursts into a fit of tears while swearing at you �f off etc�, its very hard and hurtful I�ts like you cant do anything right.. and you always put your foot wrong, I have been tiling the bathroom floor for the past few days and reminded her not to splash the floor before it was dry every day, the floor was wet that�s all, I have to say something. It does not matter what it is, or what is say if I try to do something my way it will only turn out wrong. She says often that I have ruined her life, hey, I was just a single guy with normal friends before i met her.
So before I met her, she was living in a studio flat on her own. She could not afford to look after her daughter so her daughter was kind of entrusted to her sister and brother in law to look after. She had not lived with her daughter for about 7 years, and I fell for her because I wanted to have a nice girlfriend, and also for her to have her daughter steadily in her life, I thought I could help with that, you know who is lucky enough to have a perfect life?.. its what you make it right. and since then we had moved into various one bedroom flats, then two bedroom, now we own a 2 bed flat and her daughter comes to stay sometimes at the weekends ( her daughter is an absoloute angel, educated privately abroad). When they are together sometimes they get on but most of the time they disagree and row aswell, the daughter usually stays away because she knows of the mothers temproment.
I�ve not much more to say really, well I could go on all day but you probably wouldn�t understand its just so mixed up. I�m a level headed engineer, don�t go out drinking or anything like that!. Someone help.