Troubled and Abusive Relationships Forum - My Abusive Girlfriend
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My Abusive Girlfriend

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steven777

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 1
My Abusive Girlfriend
Posted: 11-24-07 00:25am

Hello I am new to this site and don't know what to expect from this but hey its better than doing nothing. So here we go....My girlfriend and I fight verbally a lot on average to once a day. We were dating for about 6 months and in the beginning she was awesome the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She was upbeat and outgoing it was great when she took interest in me I thought I was the luckiest man alive and so we started off very well. Well the upbeat and outgoing later turned out to be an addiction to ADHD medicine called adirol. Well I helped her get off of this only to learn that she was using it as a crutch to cocaine which she recently got off of. As soon as she got off her "meds" She started changing she was way more moody. Then the arguments came and also the insecurities. This was very difficult to deal with because I felt like I was always being judged and had to walk on Pins and Needles around her. Well one day I have to admit my patience had gotten the better of me and I slipped up and said some harsh words in an argument and I was hit and hit and hit. After the argument I couldn't believe that I was treated so unjustly. Why were we not just discussing this rationally is what I thought? How could it get to this? After that argument the abuse got worse and worse she kept up with the hitting. She keeps saying that I am ruining her life and trying to control her and that I put her down 24/7. When all that I want is the best for her. Am I a horrible person? I don't want to be that guy to anyone especially not to the woman that I love. She says that I just need to leave her alone??? That is confusing to me because if she wants to be alone then what am I here for..a punching bag? I let her live her life she just has no idea what she wants so is she just saying that I am trying to control her to deal with her own unknowing? I must admit that at first when I did try to get her to go back to school or at least go after something that she enjoyed. But now I just sit back and mention things casually so not to disturb her. I am not sure what I am asking here but if anyone can help with the abuse that would be great. I just hate flinching around her its awful. I am worried to that one day I may lose my cool and do something stupid that I would never have ever even thought of doing.
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young Girl

Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13932
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0

Posted: 11-24-07 00:29am

please consider ending this relationship

its unhealthy
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jinnymc

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Nov 2007
Posts: 16
Its Terrible
Posted: 11-28-07 00:11am

i feel so sad for you my answer is get out of this leave her stay away from her she might just relize what she has lost and get her head together
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Nikki090182

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Nov 2007
Posts: 1
Giving Up?
Posted: 11-28-07 10:25am

Oh sure, just give up like everyone else does. If you really love her, my opinion would be to hold on to her and help her the best that you can. Drugs can do some damaging things to your body, you need to fight this addiction with her....that is if you love her.
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Rosie H

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Posts: 1136
Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Thanks: 17
Thanked:7

Posted: 11-28-07 10:36am

Maybe you can help her seek professional help. It sounds like she has serious anger issues and insercurities. When this happens to people they usually lash out at the ones closest to them. That would be you. She has an addiction and maybe she hasnt handled or dealt with that yet. She also has mental issues, if she does have ADHD she needs to address that also. The abusive is a way of her expressing her feelings, as bad as that sounds
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Makoto

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006
Posts: 275
Location: Japan

Posted: 11-29-07 18:57pm

get the hell out of there. you will not change her or save her. in the end you will be left feeling used abused and like garbage. give yourself a christmas gift this year, dump the hag.
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Leanne86

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 5
my advice
Posted: 01-22-08 00:07am

It seems to me you are the saviour type. The problem is if you are a giving, compassionate person and you meet someone who will take advantage of that it can lead to chaos. I have been with my partner now for two and a half years and he lies constantly about his addictions and will go behind my back when he can.
He knows im forgiving and my approach is to help. But the fact is in the end im staying with him and just making allowances for his behaviour which isnt really helping him at all. If you love her, help her by leaving her. Its been so long for me and the abuse hasnt stopped. Focus on what relationship you wanted growing up. Dont settle for someone so selfish. Your worth more than that.
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Leanne86

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 5

Posted: 01-22-08 00:09am

BTW look up Nacsisstic personality disorder!!!
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