Hello I am new to this site and don't know
what to expect from this but hey its
better than doing nothing. So here we
go....My girlfriend and I fight verbally a
lot on average to once a day. We were
dating for about 6 months and in the
beginning she was awesome the most
beautiful woman I had ever seen. She was
upbeat and outgoing it was great when she
took interest in me I thought I was the
luckiest man alive and so we started off
very well. Well the upbeat and outgoing
later turned out to be an addiction to
ADHD medicine called adirol. Well I
helped her get off of this only to learn
that she was using it as a crutch to
cocaine which she recently got off of. As
soon as she got off her "meds" She
started changing she was way more moody.
Then the arguments came and also the
insecurities. This was very difficult to
deal with because I felt like I was always
being judged and had to walk on Pins and
Needles around her. Well one day I have
to admit my patience had gotten the better
of me and I slipped up and said some harsh
words in an argument and I was hit and hit
and hit. After the argument I couldn't
believe that I was treated so unjustly.
Why were we not just discussing this
rationally is what I thought? How could
it get to this? After that argument the
abuse got worse and worse she kept up with
the hitting. She keeps saying that I am
ruining her life and trying to control her
and that I put her down 24/7. When all
that I want is the best for her. Am I a
horrible person? I don't want to be that
guy to anyone especially not to the woman
that I love. She says that I just need to
leave her alone??? That is confusing to me
because if she wants to be alone then what
am I here for..a punching bag? I let her
live her life she just has no idea what
she wants so is she just saying that I am
trying to control her to deal with her own
unknowing? I must admit that at first
when I did try to get her to go back to
school or at least go after something that
she enjoyed. But now I just sit back and
mention things casually so not to disturb
her. I am not sure what I am asking here
but if anyone can help with the abuse that
would be great. I just hate flinching
around her its awful. I am worried to
that one day I may lose my cool and do
something stupid that I would never have
ever even thought of doing.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 11-24-07 00:29am
please consider ending this relationship
its unhealthy
|
jinnymc
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Nov 2007 Posts: 16
Its Terrible Posted: 11-28-07 00:11am
i feel so sad for you my answer is get out
of this leave her stay away from her she
might just relize what she has lost and
get her head together
|
Nikki090182
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Nov 2007 Posts: 1
Giving Up? Posted: 11-28-07 10:25am
Oh sure, just give up like everyone else
does. If you really love her, my opinion
would be to hold on to her and help her
the best that you can. Drugs can do some
damaging things to your body, you need to
fight this addiction with her....that is
if you love her.
|
Rosie H
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 1136 Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Thanks: 17
Thanked:7
Posted: 11-28-07 10:36am
Maybe you can help her seek professional
help. It sounds like she has serious
anger issues and insercurities. When this
happens to people they usually lash out at
the ones closest to them. That would be
you. She has an addiction and maybe she
hasnt handled or dealt with that yet. She
also has mental issues, if she does have
ADHD she needs to address that also. The
abusive is a way of her expressing her
feelings, as bad as that sounds
|
Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 275 Location: Japan
Posted: 11-29-07 18:57pm
get the hell out of there. you will not
change her or save her. in the end you
will be left feeling used abused and like
garbage. give yourself a christmas gift
this year, dump the hag.
|
Leanne86
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jan 2008 Posts: 5
my advice Posted: 01-22-08 00:07am
It seems to me you are the saviour type.
The problem is if you are a giving,
compassionate person and you meet someone
who will take advantage of that it can
lead to chaos. I have been with my partner
now for two and a half years and he lies
constantly about his addictions and will
go behind my back when he can.
He knows im forgiving and my approach is
to help. But the fact is in the end im
staying with him and just making
allowances for his behaviour which isnt
really helping him at all. If you love
her, help her by leaving her. Its been so
long for me and the abuse hasnt stopped.
Focus on what relationship you wanted
growing up. Dont settle for someone so
selfish. Your worth more than that.
