Stuck Between a Rock And a Hard Place Posted: 11-23-07 16:01pm
I want to finally have a life, finally
live on my own.
I just did my second of 3 exams in my
computer course, and undoubtedly failed it
(yet again). Thing is, I'm having more and
more trouble concentrating in school and
life in general because of my painkillers
(morphine-based). They make it so I
constantly have to maintain an effort not
to drift off into dreamland during class,
and I often do anyway.
I HATE being on them at this point, I hate
every aspect of the effects, but my
condition is only degrading and the pain
is a lot to deal with as is. I've asked
many doctors about this but they all give
the same answer: I have to decide between
more pain or more mental foginess. Neither
are an option if I want any hope of
getting an education.
I've tried working at a few types of light
jobs, but making it through a 4 hour day
is too much pain to bear, let alone a full
8 hour one.
So at this point, I really don't know what
to do with my life. I'm 22 years old and
still living in my parents house for frig
sake. I want to leave so bad, this is just
getting rediculous. But are there any
options to be had? Something I haven't
considered, maybe outside work or school?
It's not like I can live in their basement
for the rest of my life, I want to start
having a life already! And that's not
going to happen till I move out, have at
least some money to spend. But as long as
I'm on these stupid painkillers, keeping
up in school is too difficult. I'm
struggling with only 2 courses right now
as is.
*sigh* I don't know... any ideas? Life is
feeling pretty hopeless right now.
