Sexual Health - Men Forum - Virgin - Erection Loss Before Possible Sex Encounter ...help!

Mens Health > Sexual Health - Men Forum > Virgin - Erection Loss Before Possible Sex Encounter ...help!

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Q: Virgin - Erection Loss Before Possible Sex Encounter ...help!

asked by: si12j12 on November 23rd, 2007

New User

Im new here and i really need help , I have had this in my mind and its upseting me ...

Im 23 year old virgin , Ive been so close to having sex but right before the deed i cant keep my erection, im not shure if i might be overthinking things ,or might be over masturbating, its happened to me twice first time i was pretty drunk and though i had drank too much . I have an erection while clothes are on , kissing and touching is involved but when clothes start to come off and its time to go in ,the erection starts to loose and i cant do it, this happened to me for the second time about a week ago , i had an erection while i was kissing the girl and caressing but as soon as she went to give me a hand job i could feel me loosing the erection, i tried keeping it up, but it was not hard as penis should of been.
I did not end up having sex that time, the girl thought i was playing hard to get, but she wants to see me again and im pretty shure sex is expected .

Things i should mention are:
-Have had anxiety attack in the past
-Tend to be impatient at times
-Masturbate maybe once a day or every other day
-Stressed out at times
-Drink alot of coffee and energy drinks
-Taking hydroxycut hardcore
-Work out at least 4 times a week
-Felt depressed couple of times this month

i need some advice , i dont know if im ready to have sex mentally ..physically i should be able to , im fit and relatively healthy..please help!

Replies(7)

marvel

replied on November 23rd, 2007

Supporter

it's called performance anxiety. It happens to the best of us.

Just make sure you're having sex with someone you trust. That would be my suggestion. Take is slow if you have to. It's definitely a mental thing that can be overcome!

blue2dead

replied on November 25th, 2007

New User

yeah it can be overcome i had the same problem. my girlfriend was understanding. i slowly worked my way up id orally please her and get in the mood. take my time if needed aroused myself. and i guess after a couple of weeks i became comfortable with making love to her so whenever i wanted her i was able to just take her. hopefully some of this helps just take it slow. the more confident you are in your partner the more confident youll be in the bedroom.

kyles123

replied on November 25th, 2007

New User

I have/had the same problem.
i have been going out with my girlfriend for three months now and i used to always get hard (really hard) just from making out / touching. Three weeks into our relationship we where about to had sex for the first time. i was hard but right as i put the condom on and about to preform i instantly lost my boner ( realized few weeks ago it was from anxiety).
One thing that has helped me a lot is start slow, don't go straight to sex try going slowly as possible to be comfortable with her (telling her your problem WILL help you overcome this faster).
Also i used to drink 2-5 coffee's a day, I completely stopped when ever i have the urge to drink a coffee i just grab a bottle of water.
hope this helps its been working for me.

PS: i also had the same experience as you i was loaded (drunk) at a party few months before my girlfriend, same thing happened to me I couldn't get my boner up and when i did it did not last long (did notcum just lost it). My story was a bit worse though...... she was really drunk as well and she was walking home as a cop drove by and noticed she was drunk, she told the officer i sexually assaulted her and i went to jail for the night. they found out she was lieing since i had hickies allover my body so obviously i cant fours someone to do that.

anyways good luck again!

si12j12

replied on November 28th, 2007

New User

wow thanx for the responce people, now i know im not alone....but i have bad news, it happened again i was about to go in , and well just lost it ... she was teasing me for the longest time and all through the teasing i had an erection. By the time all it was time could get hard , the weird part is that my stomach and testicles were hurting , i actually had pain and could not continue . Long story short i just couldnt ..

Honestly im getting upset over this and makes me start thinking to just stop going out and going back to being passive guy ,focus on different things ...

KGB

replied on February 18th, 2009

New User

Same thing

Man, you and me both buddy, 22 and the same Fking problem, dont know what to do, ya sure take it slow but when it comes down to it.......nothing!!! We need some viagra or somethin

ace45

replied on May 30th, 2009

New User

I had the same problem when I lost my virginity. The girl was understanding though and by the third night together I was getting it up no problem. Like others have said, you need to be comfortable with her.

lovestocum

replied on May 31st, 2009

New User

Get your swerve on

Maybe u could get some sta-erect or something. But..I really wouldnt use that, because it actually numbs your junk. If you are really getting pussed-out before a session with yer woman, I would recommend a long romantic evening with your woman. After a whole night of romance, you both will be aroused and it would not even be an issue. Vitamin Water---Try it.

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