I fantasize about guys licking or sucking on women's breasts when I masturbate. Or what sex looks like. Or imagining someone sucking on my clit. Male or female, doesn't matter. And I'm a married woman, too!
You and me babe. I even masturbate the same as you, by humping my pillow. I'm a married woman, too, and I've shared my lesbian fantasies with my husband, who not only approves, but it drives him wild, too (especially while watching me ride my pillow!). I especially enjoy fantasizing about Jessica Alba or Rosario Dawson, or some other famous hottie. Other times, I think about breasts waitresses or strippers I've seen, or just babes on the street or in the store who my husband and I have scoped out. I often like to imagine them having sex with their pillows, the same as I do. All my sexual desires are same sex, so I've alternately thought of myself as bisexual or as a lesbian, though it was a man (that's my husband, by the way) who stole my heart.
I love humping my pillow, I can make myself cum so fast, and usually thoughts about other women, however... I am with a man, married, currently now pregnant even, and totally happy with him and our sex life. Sometimes, thinking of him having sex with another woman turns me on, but just the sex, the complications are enough to not want that of course. Often, I find it fantisizing to have both of us females laying our or backs as he switches from one to another. Ahhh, these threads are almost turning me on because I am so into the thought of another woman.
Me too. I love my boyfriend sex is more than great but I can't orgasm through intercourse. I used to orgasm through oral sex but can't even to that now. And of course men always want to know if you orgasm so I lie. I'm on hormone pills too which may interfere but I can only cum when I have a fantasy of a woman or having sex with two men. But I feel guilty about that and tense up more. Maybe it's because of my own body image issues thinking I am not attractive enough. When I have a fantasy of a woman there seems no performance expectations. It just flows so gently. The orgasms are different too. Women orgasms are awesome when I masterbate and men take longer, more mechanical and seem like more work! I'm thinking of just allowing myself use a fantasy and cum. I'm afraid to tell him on these thoughts so I think I will keep them to myself for now. I'm such an honest person though and when I lie it shows. And yes I have the humping fantasy too with a strap on and also a younger beautiful woman going down on me. Because I am really fair I've always thought men really want a woman who can get a nice tan. Ok too much psychoanalysis - I know!
I think it is natural. I think the porn videos that are supposed to turn on couples, get women in the mood, portray woman as being sluts, whores, less than, violent, demeaning. I know that i am not a lesbian. I am very happily married, but love to masturbate as it gives a certain freedom and excitement of independence that no one else can give me. Knowing that I am the reason for my own ectasy is part of the thrill and I really feel like 2 woman (for the most pat) are sensual, romantic, intriguing... slow and very into each other as supposed to watching a penis being sucked on for hours... forcefully by a man's hand on the girl's head, and then jammed into her anus or vagina from the back. I love having sex with my husband. He is sensual, slow and romantic. watching males have sex with females is very unerving. There is nothing left to the imagination and in most pornos or HBO romantic love setting after hour programs, the males are always demanding. They always get the woman to suck their penis like it's god gift to this world, and most often the males don't lick the woman's vagina. As soon as the guys get hard they start having rough sex with the girls. This is why I believe many woman masturbate or prefer to watch woman w/ woman to feel to get turned on to have sex or make love wih their male partner. We're not gay, we're keeping it real. we watch woman w woman because they pay attn to to the other girl and all her body. Maybe if more porn movies sensual with man and woman we women would watch them! Rock on women!
I agree that this is a very good thread. I also mostly have female sexual fantasies, though have always had relationships with men. When I masturbate and think of women, I come in about five minutes. I enjoy sex with men and am able to get (frustratingly) close to orgasm with men, but have almost never had an orgasm with a man unless I was masturbating, and even then, thinking of women. Sometimes I''ve wondered if that''s more an intimacy issue than a sexual one, but that''s another topic.
I used to beat myself up over it a lot, thinking, oh my god, am I a lesbian, am I bisexual, I must decide, I must experiment and know what the answer is! But now I just accept it about myself and don''t feel like I have to let that freak me out or make some sort of life decision over it.
Emotionally, I have always felt that what my boyfriends bring to the table feels like a complementary component to what I offer, and that they are who I want to be with (just as soon as I can find the right one!) as I continue to search for my life partner/best friend/teammate. I enjoy the differences and look forward to finding my guy and to learning together all the time.
I have read a lot on the issue and am ok with the way my brain/sexual response works and don''t think it means I''m supposed to be with a woman. I suppose it''s not impossible that I one day fall madly in love with a woman, but so far it''s been men that I respond to and feel attracted to in the social setting, to start the ball rolling. I like the dynamic of the relationships I''ve had, and have had good sexual relationships even though I haven''t been orgasm queen.
I think when I am an old woman and look back on my life I will be happy that I made choices about going in the direction of love, and not in what everyone else says is the right answer. There is no shortage of opinions on this topic, and as I said, I like this thread because it feels like people are being honest about something that I kind of suspect a lot more people--women and men--are perhaps pretending isn''t there? Maybe it''s not fair of me to speak for other people but I wonder if that''s a little true.
From the beginning of time women have been encouraged and expected to be nurtures. This is across the board, weather its male or female. It is not uncommon for women to hug or kiss in public, it is the traditional way women greet each other. It is therefore no surprise that a preponderance of women may have thoughts about other women sexual and what not.
I'm a married 40 year old woman. My husband and I have sex most every night. He is very attentive and loves going down on me and does this most every night,as well. I still find myself masturbating several times a day. Usually to thoughts of being with women or even as myself as a little girl,having my 'first encounters' with a much older man. This never fails to get me off quickly and intensely. Am i sick??
bella_rush, Why would you think that you are sick? You are not harming yourself, you have good relations with your husband and are faithful.
Sex is normal, sex is healthy, sex is fun, sex is relaxing and sex is good. Your fantasies and thoughts are as much a part of your sex life as having intercourse or masturbating. Due to the hormones secreted in your brain when you orgasm, the more you orgasm, the more you will want to orgasm. If you are worried that your sex drive is too high, you can ask your doctor to test your hormone level when you see him/her again.
WOW, almost every night? All I can say is you go girl!!
I also thought of woman while masturbating. I took it on step further and had an encounter with another woman and it was wonderful very different soft, lots of stroking. I love my husband and he knows about it, so we took it one more step and had a three some. That was also wonderful! Now I can't seem to get the thoughts of him pleasuring her out of my mind so I sent him to her house and told him just what I thought they should do. But I wanted to know every detail from both of them. So we had dinner at my house after and I was so excited I wanted them to go all the way. I stayed in the begging but choose to leave and I went and masturbated while I imagined what they where doing on the sofa!! Oh my goodness, I have never really had much of a sex drive for many years now but now I can't seem to turn it off. We can all enjoy each other together or she and I alone or she and he alone but we have to tell the other two everything that happened and oh my goodness I feel like I finally feel free sexually. I know its no where near normal but it seems to work for us and wee talk about how everything is making us feel emotionally so we are all on the same page.
I am 32, married woman. me and my husband have sex every day, in the morning and at night. in the morning its more gentle but at night we go for it hard but throughout the day i do masturbate in my office under the desk whilst thinking of all the other female workers lying on their desk doing it too and having fun with me. I know im not a lesbian, i tried it out once and wasnt keen but i do still like to fantasize
pretty cool stuff, I LOVE boyz. However I only get off thinking about women. And ya hardcore porn is def a turn OFF! My boyfriend is HUGE 11 inch of man- meat and I've taken painkillers and ambesol to numb myself. He's drop dead sexy sweet strong tall beautiful man super patient and cuddly to death I LOVE him infinitely. However when i cum it's women all the way!! In fact the closest with a man was a big guy who kinda had boobies i spent so much time on them they looked like girls tits lol. I'll probably never tell my man because I'm not the sharing type! I just fantasize...hells i fantasize about myself. Thanx SOOOOoooo much ladies your not alone....kisses
This thread is so reassuring. I thought I was the only woman that considers herself straigt but has fantasies about other women. I'm 21 years old and I hav never been with a woman but I hav been with a few man. I've nevr had an orgasm from penetration but whenever I watch lesbian porn I orgasm within a few minutes. I get so turned on by them that it makes me question my sexuality, but after readin this I feel very reassured. THANKS!
I'm confused about the reaction of "being reassured" that you're straight. If you are having fantasies about women, and curious if it could be more than just fantasies, why not embrace and experience it? Why deprive yourself of something possibly incredible, life changing and fulfilling?
I dated boys for years. Fell in love. Had fabulous sex. But when I started being with women something clicked and everything made sense. Women's bodies are hot and the sex can be fantastic. And if its something more for you, the connection will be there too.
All this sounds familiar to me- fantasizing of women while having sex with my boyfriend. Sex in dreams with women to the point of waking myself up out of them. A huge absence of sex in dreams with boys. I dunno.. the fantasies were fabulous and the actual sex was even better. I had no idea what i was missing, physically and emotionally. (And this might not happen with the first woman you're with either.. think of how many boys you had to meet before something felt right.)
Why shut it out with a feeling of being "reassured"? Because you're scared you might be a lesbian? Or bi? Not to speak for everyone, because I know its not always a cake walk, but we have one go at this life thing and seems a shame to close off the possibility of something that may blow your mind..
I am a 30 yr old woman. I have had many short term relationships with men and many of these times felt like he's so special and I could really fall in love with him. Unfortunately they never seem to work out. I have never had an orgasm with any of my sexual partners, I wonder whether this is a trust issue and/or I haven't had the chance to get really comfortable and let myself go. However as far back as I can remember when ever I masturbate I think of having sex with woman and I can cum sooooo quickly from this. I have kissed (only kissed) girls before growing up just for the sake of it really but it never rocked my world. I get down on myself that by my age I still haven't had a long term relationship and so I point to the idea that maybe I am subconciously sabotaging these relationships because I am gay but as I type this I feel that I am not. Is it something about fantasising with females because its emotionally detatched, its all about the sex, just boobs and sex, no faces, theres no worrying if you are touching them in the right spot, or you are going too fast/slow or being too rough, or if they actually like you/care about you etc. As time goes by I feel as though I have to make the fantasies dirtier to keep them exciting and not boring otherwise the same ones become less exciting e.g the females have become a lot younger in my fantasies - teenagers, that sounds concerning to me..... and lately I have started looking at girls in real life but it doesn't feel good it makes me feel uncomfortable, I am wondering if I am letting my fantasies run into reality because I am not accepting to my fantasies just being fantasies so I am becoming paranoid and confused about my sexual orientation thoughts? In reality I fall for guys, get crushes - way more than crushes, I love guys, their bodies, their voices, hands, lips... penises, personalities, the attention they give me, them eyeing me up, flirting! Love them. But WHY can't I fantasize about a man and cum??? If I like a guy I get horny and will begin to masturbate because of him but to finish the job I turn him into a chick. I never think about girls when I'm having sex with a guy but I have never cum?? So confused. and the younger female thing freaks me out.
I'm 28, in a committed relationship, and just want to say THANK YOU to everyone who responded to this post. You have no idea how much better this makes me feel.
About six months ago, I met my current boyfriend through online dating. We talked constantly for two weeks over the phone before meeting in person. I am not a person who likes or seeks commitment because of past relationships, but with him it was different. When we met it was awesome - I felt instantly comfortable and attracted to him. The sex was HOT and after our first make-out session, I went home and had a dream where I woke up having an orgasm.
Well, a few weeks into our relationship, I read an article in the paper about a woman who came out when she was fifty. It freaked me out. I have been struggling with THIS VERY ISSUE (fantasizing about women and only being able to cum when I think about them) for a few years. I had a panic attack at that moment. It was so intense that I had to get medical treatment and begin counseling.
I should also point out that I have somewhat acted on my girl-girl fantasies. Prior to this relationship, I once made out with a girlfriend of mine when we were both very drunk (and not for male amusement) and I even went on dates with women. I went online and met some nice, hot girls. However, on the dates, I felt like I was just with friends. When one of the girls hit on me, it made me feel uncomfortable, and not in a "I like that but I don't want to like it" kind of way. More like a "Uh-oh, she's turned on by me but I'm not by her" way.
After this experience, I thought, "Ok, I'm straight." But I couldn't get the idea out of mind that I liked fantasizing about women. I began to ask questions and researching. However, I kept getting crushes on men so I just went with it.
Well, I am still somewhat getting over my anxiety attack. I take a variety of medication and it's hard for me to accept that this is a medical condition, and I still worry that the anxiety is being caused by the fact that "I can't accept that I'm gay." Admittedly, I do want to try sex with a woman, but I am in love with my boyfriend and I enjoy sex with him. For the first time in a long time, I met someone who I desire a future with, and for the first time in a long time, I do not want to run away.
Part of my problem happens when I read coming out stories from people who are openly gay, it increases my anxiety. They will talk about denying it for a long time and finally feeling free when they accept it. But, I can not relate when they say, "I knew all along" or "I was in love with my baby-sitter" or "It just felt right to me." What I could relate to was the fear, anxiety, and depression that comes with figuring out your sexual identity.
I have decided to stop beating myself up and trying to label "what" I am. This is difficult for me, because I do like everything to be "in its place". I have decided that it is perfectly okay for me to have sexual fantasies about women but be with my man. I've had fantasies about women, fantasies about men, fantasies about being with older men, fantasies about being with multiple men and multiple women! I've had fantasies about being dominated and about being a hooker. I never worried that I would quit my job and start working the streets, so why worry about this?
I love my boyfriend, I love masturbating, and I love myself. If I marry him and am happy for the rest of my life, so be it! If I leave him for another woman, that's fine, too!
Thanks to reading your posts, I no longer feel alone! Really, this has truly helped me immensely. Thank you so much for your honesty - I wish my girlfriends could be as honest as everyone else has been.
The way I look at it is. I enjoy my female fantasies.. but when I think about having a girlfriend/girlfriend relationship that's a whole different story whereby it isn't me. I don't look at other women and say I want her or I would like to date her. After I masterbate then it's pretty much forgotten and I move on with my day still wanting an intimate relationship with a man even though those are tough too. A fantasy is just a fantasy and having a dating relationship with a woman is a whole other story.