I am asking for help! I am in a situation that has cycled for three years now. Though I might have some issue, which I am not claiming I don’t. This situation is about my girlfriend

I have been with my girlfriend for over three years and there has been a consistent cycle that occurs. She gets completely tired, and everything she says seems to be negative. I am an optimist and try to pump her up, but that does not work. She also has a commitment problem, being that there was a rough up bringing. So she gets into this stage where she tries to prove to herself she is not co-dependant. She will go out and get drunk till she blacks out. She tells me she doesn’t remember what happened. She then will turn it around on me saying. Well I am confused and I don’t think we are supposed to be together. Though 12 hours before she is completely in-love with me and her actions and words prove it. It seems to be a complete mood swing.

I understand that anger and love are close in relationship both giving off pleasurable endorphins. It would seem that she copes with her situation by string up the pot I call it. My example is I leave for thanksgiving and she goes out gets so drunk she says she doesn’t remember anything. She then processed to say she needs space. That she feels that our love is not meant to be. She doesn’t really care that it ruins my thanksgiving. In fact I think that gives her pleasure subconsciously. She brings in this drama and it helps her feel better. She will even confide with another guy because she doesn’t want to be co-dependant to me.

Why I think this is a mental problem is it is a cycle. She is not stable, she is not happy, she is to stressed out with work, her MBA, and because she has said to me multiple times I don’t understand why I am this way. I want to love you, but I can’t. But, she says I don’t understand.

She seems unhappy, but everyone that is close to her loves her and gives her 100%. In my mind most girls would be so excited and because they are having a Biltmore Christmas, and an amazing new years. Though she seems to fight the good in her life to try and prove she is so independent.

I say to myself why do I stay in this relationship and it is because I love this girl and I am committed to her. I know she has something wrong with her and I feel bad just walking away because 70% of the time she is amazing it is this 30% I hate.

What do you think her problem might be? How do I help her? Please do not answer just walk away. If I could I would.

Thanks for your time,

Andrew