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Q: Worried about mom's drinking

asked by: worried_chick on November 21st, 2007

New User

i am worried about my mum, she is always drinking alcohol, she will get in from work at 3:30 ish an will start drinking then she will often have a bottle of wine or more a night and it seems when she starts drinking she cant stop. if we go shopping she always wants to go to the pub for dinner and has to have a drink, ive told her i am worried about her and that i think she has a problem but she just tells me to shut up and because she doesnt drink in a morning she doesnt have a problem, but its getting too much and i dont know how much more i can take i want to leave home but im scared if i do she will drink more and more because im not here. last year we went on holiday in april and july she brought back 5 litres of booze (vodka,brandy,whisky) and then i went away in august with my bf and we brought her 3 litres of whisky (supposed to be for xmas) but by november she had drunk the lot, i also know she had bought spirits inbetween and hides the empty bottles under her bed. please can someone give me some advice.

Replies(5)

CarolDiane

replied on November 21st, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

She Is Not Ready to Admit

You have tried the first step which is family intervention and she obviously got into a denial about it. Unfortunatly, untill the alcholic comes to grips with the fact that they do have a drinking problem there really is nothing more you can do. Just do not give up on her. Keep lovingly trying to remind her how much you love her and are conserned about her drinking. Intervention does not always work the first few times. Everyone is different and what it takes them to reach what we call "rock bottom". All I can advise you to do is not to argue of fight with her but, keep letting her know your concerns and love. Otherwise she will think that you don't care and we don't want that to happen. You have a hard deck to deal here and it ain't going to be easy. But, keep you streangh and you love showing. That is what will eventually bring her to rock bottom. Some have to get so sick and even hospitalized to realize how big the problem is. Keep you chin up.

I wish you the best and know we am here for you,
Carrie

worried_chick

replied on November 21st, 2007

New User

Worried

thank you i have been living with this for over a year and it is really getting to me i am depressed beacuse of it and she doesnt seem to care bout that she is making me ill i even thought of goin to the doc and tellin them but there wont b owt they can do

CarolDiane

replied on November 21st, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

I Have Empathy For You

My mom is right now 14 years sober. We tried everything. She went to 30 day rehab, came out and started drinking again. In 1993 she had a grand mal seizure and that was her rock bottom. She has not touched a drink since. You can imagine how I felt having worked in the field and not being able to help my own mother get sober. It was a hard road and I also was ill and depressed. But, I look back now and think of the Serenity Prayer.

God, grant me the serenity to except the things I can not change,
The courage to change the things that I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Keep that prayer in mind. It will help you through this.

Carrie

Inferior_Decorator

replied on November 22nd, 2007

New User

Help Is Out There

Worried_Chick,

I'm sorry for your troubles....been there done that. MsCarrie's wise words are very true, this addiciton of your mother's is her's as will be her recovery which she hopefully comes to one day.

In the mean time, help is out there for you. There are various support groups you can contact online or within your area. Al-anon is one of the most popular. It's a group formed by the loved ones and families of alcoholics....thier program is modelled after the AA 12 step program. I'm not sure if I'll get my fingers slapped for posting a link in here, but I'll take the chance. Al-anon can be found at http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.htm l Check the site out, at least to know that you're not alone in this.

Much luck in your journey, it's going to be rough, but not impossible to overcome.

CarolDiane

replied on November 22nd, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Re: Worried

worried_chick wrote:

Believe it or not, she has no clue she is making you ill. The only thing an alcholic thinks about is the next drink. Yes, she loves you. But, you have to understand that she is not herself. Never think that she does not care about the way you feel. She is in total denial right now and there is nothing anyone can do. She has got to be the one to come out of this with your unconditional love and help.

My thoughts are with you more then you know.
Carrie

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