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myworld2me
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 8
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"friend" And Parents For Dinner
Posted: 11-21-07 14:27pm
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I have known this girl for a long time. I
have seen her go through her eating
disorder and come out of the treatment and
everything. I always thought that she was
the most beautiful girl in the world but
she never knew how i felt until about 2
years ago. her and her boyfriend recently
broke up and we have begun seeing each
other. For the last 2 years it has seemed
like we were connected more that her and
her boyfriend were because she told me
everything and i felt like i knew
everything about her and she is the only
one that i have ever been able to trust.
recently she said that she wanted to meet
my parents and my parents have wanted to
meet her before we are together. so i
invited her over to dinner. she was happy
and wanted to come. but then the day of
the dinner she said that she didnt want to
because she needs to feel comfortable
eating with them. she has told me
everything that she has felt with the
eating disorder and i feel like i have
been with her through it all and felt the
pain that she has gone through. i just
dont understand what i can do to help her
with this.
in short... is there anything i can do or
say to help this girl who means everything
to me? i want her to feel comfortable
around my family eating and everything...
what can i do?
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myworld2me
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 8
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Posted: 11-21-07 16:32pm
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please? no one?
she says that she has panic attacks
sometimes when shes eating... what causes
this? what helps?
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13932
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Posted: 11-21-07 16:42pm
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she will have to get over her uncomfyness
by herself hun
theres not much you can do
let her know that they like her  and tell her its
ok
the more she feels she fits in the more
comfortable she will be
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myworld2me
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 8
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Posted: 11-21-07 17:36pm
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i have told her that before, it seems like
she needs to hear how i feel about her
everyday (which i have absolutely no
problem doing because just the thought of
her makes me happier). but i told my mom
about what she has been through and she
fully understands.
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13932
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
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Posted: 11-21-07 18:57pm
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shes insecure
its hard to deal with but youre probably
going to have to deal with her
insecurities for a very long time 
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myworld2me
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 8
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Posted: 11-21-07 19:40pm
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its so hard to understand, i see her as
the most beautiful girl in the world
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13932
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Posted: 11-21-07 19:41pm
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yes but SHE doesnt see herself that way
no matter what you see
she doesnt see the same in herslef
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myworld2me
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 8
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Posted: 11-21-07 20:20pm
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so what can i do to help? anything?
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13932
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
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Posted: 11-21-07 20:20pm
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just be there for her
thats all i know
the only way to go is up
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myworld2me
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 8
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13932
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 11-21-07 20:36pm
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your welcome
hope it all goes well
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myworld2me
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 8
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Posted: 11-21-07 20:42pm
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well the dinner was tonight so that didnt
happen
but thats not important for me, i just
wish that she was able to see what i see.
or at least be happy
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glynnis
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2007
Posts: 33
Location: , london
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Posted: 11-24-07 11:47am
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it takes lots of time to get ova an ed.
she obv cares for u alot by telling u bout
it in such detail, mayb just have her
round for coffee with ur parents and try
and work up from there
good luck
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PenguinsRus
Supporter
Joined: 05 Nov 2007
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Location: New York, NY United States
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Posted: 11-24-07 12:01pm
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Maybe introducing her to them over dinner
isn't the best idea since she struggles
with eating disorders. Perhaps try having
them meet her at a movie or go out
bowling/ice skating/something you guys
enjoy together. Maybe after she gets to
know them a bit, she will feel comfortable
to move onto coffee or snacks, and
eventually dinner. Working up in baby
steps may help. Good luck! You are a
good person for being there for her.
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myworld2me
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 8
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Posted: 11-24-07 13:24pm
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it was her idea for dinner but then when
it came time for it she wasnt ready. shes
going to be coming over just to hang out
and watch a movie with the family or
something. and we both like to snowboard
so we are going to teach my little sister
this year. im sure everything will work
out. thank you all for your help!
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pebbles07
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Nov 2007
Posts: 37
Location: ,
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Posted: 11-30-07 03:25am
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I understand her actually, i have an
eating disorder (not as bad as I use to)
and eating with others was hard. People
with eating disorders eat so little that
it is obvious to others or they eat so
much and purge. If she is bulimic then she
needs to deal with it her best way maybe
eating just a little. If she has a problem
not eating a lot then tell her that it is
ok she can have as little as she wants and
tell ur mom whatever she does DO NOT say
have more or is that all, and to not get
offended it is not the food it is an
eating disorder. I think like the others
said invite her for coffee or tea instead
after she gets use to ur mom she will feel
comfy and eat how she wants. I just tell
people I am not eating a lot when we go
out I take most home and it lasts for a
while. I know i have a problem and not
afraid to admit it and that's first step.
Maybe u should work on her confidence and
self acceptance.
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