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"friend" And Parents For Dinner

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November 21st, 2007
I have known this girl for a long time. I have seen her go through her eating disorder and come out of the treatment and everything. I always thought that she was the most beautiful girl in the world but she never knew how i felt until about 2 years ago. her and her boyfriend recently broke up and we have begun seeing each other. For the last 2 years it has seemed like we were connected more that her and her boyfriend were because she told me everything and i felt like i knew everything about her and she is the only one that i have ever been able to trust.

recently she said that she wanted to meet my parents and my parents have wanted to meet her before we are together. so i invited her over to dinner. she was happy and wanted to come. but then the day of the dinner she said that she didnt want to because she needs to feel comfortable eating with them. she has told me everything that she has felt with the eating disorder and i feel like i have been with her through it all and felt the pain that she has gone through. i just dont understand what i can do to help her with this.

in short... is there anything i can do or say to help this girl who means everything to me? i want her to feel comfortable around my family eating and everything... what can i do?
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myworld2me
replied November 21st, 2007
please? no one?

she says that she has panic attacks sometimes when shes eating... what causes this? what helps?
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young Girl
replied November 21st, 2007
Especially eHealthy
she will have to get over her uncomfyness by herself hun
theres not much you can do
let her know that they like her Smile and tell her its ok
the more she feels she fits in the more comfortable she will be Smile
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myworld2me
replied November 21st, 2007
i have told her that before, it seems like she needs to hear how i feel about her everyday (which i have absolutely no problem doing because just the thought of her makes me happier). but i told my mom about what she has been through and she fully understands.
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young Girl
replied November 21st, 2007
Especially eHealthy
shes insecure
its hard to deal with but youre probably going to have to deal with her insecurities for a very long time Sad
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myworld2me
replied November 21st, 2007
its so hard to understand, i see her as the most beautiful girl in the world
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young Girl
replied November 21st, 2007
Especially eHealthy
yes but SHE doesnt see herself that way Sad
no matter what you see
she doesnt see the same in herslef
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myworld2me
replied November 21st, 2007
so what can i do to help? anything?
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young Girl
replied November 21st, 2007
Especially eHealthy
just be there for her


thats all i know

the only way to go is up
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myworld2me
replied November 21st, 2007
thank you
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young Girl
replied November 21st, 2007
Especially eHealthy
your welcome

hope it all goes well
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myworld2me
replied November 21st, 2007
well the dinner was tonight so that didnt happen Sad

but thats not important for me, i just wish that she was able to see what i see. or at least be happy
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glynnis
replied November 24th, 2007
it takes lots of time to get ova an ed. she obv cares for u alot by telling u bout it in such detail, mayb just have her round for coffee with ur parents and try and work up from there

good luck
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PenguinsRus
replied November 24th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Maybe introducing her to them over dinner isn't the best idea since she struggles with eating disorders. Perhaps try having them meet her at a movie or go out bowling/ice skating/something you guys enjoy together. Maybe after she gets to know them a bit, she will feel comfortable to move onto coffee or snacks, and eventually dinner. Working up in baby steps may help. Good luck! You are a good person for being there for her.
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myworld2me
replied November 24th, 2007
it was her idea for dinner but then when it came time for it she wasnt ready. shes going to be coming over just to hang out and watch a movie with the family or something. and we both like to snowboard so we are going to teach my little sister this year. im sure everything will work out. thank you all for your help!
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pebbles07
replied November 30th, 2007
I understand her actually, i have an eating disorder (not as bad as I use to) and eating with others was hard. People with eating disorders eat so little that it is obvious to others or they eat so much and purge. If she is bulimic then she needs to deal with it her best way maybe eating just a little. If she has a problem not eating a lot then tell her that it is ok she can have as little as she wants and tell ur mom whatever she does DO NOT say have more or is that all, and to not get offended it is not the food it is an eating disorder. I think like the others said invite her for coffee or tea instead after she gets use to ur mom she will feel comfy and eat how she wants. I just tell people I am not eating a lot when we go out I take most home and it lasts for a while. I know i have a problem and not afraid to admit it and that's first step. Maybe u should work on her confidence and self acceptance.
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