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TrollSlayer
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 6
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Oral Sex Question
Posted: 11-21-07 03:47am
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I've got a few questions that I'm hoping
to find answers for regarding oral sex in
my current relationship. I am a male that
has been with my current girlfriend for
just over 4 years now. I have always been
lured to oral sex for some reason.
My girlfriend has had a bad sexual
experience in her past which it did take
about 2 years before she was comfortable
to have sex vaginally with me. However we
had performed anal sex several times prior
to that.
Oral sex has always been a touchy subject
with her. At first she seemed like she was
heisitant to peform oral sex, but did it
and seemed to enjoy it at least a little
when she did do it (rarely).
Then about 6 months ago, she seemed a
little more determined to get into it and
was performing oral rather frequently, but
she was worried that she wasn't doing it
well enough to please me. I reassured her
that she was pleasing me. During this
time, I performed oral on her several
times as well with very few comfortability
issues...Now it seems as if she is
completely uncomfortable with it...
I'm ok with not getting oral, but I would
love for it to become part of our sex
life. What would have caused her to become
uninterested in it like that? Now she just
says that she's not comfortable for me to
have my head near her vagina like that.
The only issue we had during the time we
were performing oral was that she wasn't
able to do it for long before her jaws
would start hurting her.
Some advice on what I can do to help get
oral sex part of my sex life would be
great. I love her to death and would love
for us to be able to exchange the favor of
pleasuring each other in as many ways as
possible.
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TrollSlayer
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 6
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Posted: 11-23-07 15:01pm
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Anyone have any advice/answers for me?
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13932
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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TrollSlayer
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 6
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Posted: 11-24-07 14:58pm
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Done that. She says she just sometimes
isn't comfortable with it. But she was
semi-comfortable with it at one point in
time. I just feel as if there's more to it
than that for her.
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beepbeep176
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jul 2006
Posts: 249
Location: Port Charlotte, FL USA
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Posted: 11-24-07 15:05pm
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It doesn't sound like she's a very
sexually open person. You did say she had
some kind of negative expierence with
vaginal sex so I'm sure it has something
to do with that. It's strange that she was
letting you perform oral and you were
recieving oral and now she just doesn't
want to. Maybe her sex drive is getting
lower or something. Or maybe she just
needs reassurance that's she doing it
right. Sorry I couldn't be much help.
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Maddie34
Moderator
Joined: 06 Oct 2007
Posts: 1449
Location: ,
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Posted: 11-24-07 16:24pm
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Did she say why she's not
comfortable with it?
I didn't have a real good experience with
my ex and it really bothered me with my
current boyfriend. It took me a long time
to get comfortable doing it with him and
we had to have a lot of talks about it. He
didn't really get why I wasn't comfortable
until I told him everything and even now I
still need a lot of reassurance that I'm
doing everything right.
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TrollSlayer
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 6
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Posted: 11-24-07 21:39pm
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Well, her bad experience wasn't only
vaginally, I believe it was anal as
well....
The thing that confuses me is we had anal
sex first, then oral, then vaginal...now
it seems vaginal is all she is comfortable
with...not even anal anymore which used to
be something she really loved.
It doesn't seem to be the taste that she
doesn't like about oral sex, she's stated
that she likes it several times...it just
seems like oral sex is a topic she tries
to avoid if at all possible when I try
bringing it up.
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13932
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Posted: 11-24-07 21:42pm
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maybe she just isnt an oral sexx person?
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TrollSlayer
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 6
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Posted: 11-24-07 21:50pm
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Then why was she fine with it and was
enjoying it at one point and time, then
she just slowly faded away from it? That's
what I'm trying to figure out. Anything
she's ever said points to the fact that
she liked it other than the fact that she
says she isn't comfortable with it. Which
we've talked about ways to help her become
comfortable with oral sex. When talking,
she seems like its somethign she wants,
but doesn't seem too much like she wants
to work toward it.
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Happiness03
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Jul 2005
Posts: 333
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Posted: 11-25-07 15:52pm
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It may be something with her sex drive.
Sometimes mine goes all sorts of crazy. My
husband loves oral too. I used to do it
for him, but unfortunately it just wasn't
my cup of tea. I should have just told him
at the time. He kept pushing for it and
pushing for it, and then it was more of a
"chore" for me to do it. Now, I really
just don't care for it. He understands,
and just allows me to do it when I feel
like it. It is rare, I must say, but when
I feel like it, it is more pleasurable for
the both of us. That's the most important
thing of all.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 5546
Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 89
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Posted: 11-25-07 16:03pm
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Do you think it's possible that she thinks
she's smelly or icky? If so, try giving
her some subtle compliments about it... "I
love the scent of a woman... (with a
wink)" or something to boost her
confidence down there. Otherwise I'd just
talk to her, use the same words you wrote
to us and be completely honest. But do it
in a way that gives her an out so she
doesn't feel vulnerable or cornered. Know
what I mean?
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candymom419
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 7
Location: baton rouge, La U.S.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005
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Posted: 11-25-07 22:10pm
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Yeah, I always thought I was smelly, but
my ex solved that by being obnoxious and
always smelling his fingers afterwards.
I believe his comment one time was "I can
smell you and get horny all day long
now..."
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majorjustin06
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
Location: Huntington, WV United States
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Posted: 11-27-07 11:59am
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Ok, everyone, I am TrollSlayer...Obviously
there was an issue with my username so I
had to re-register. I have another twist
to my story here. And we have watched porn
together. Seems to make sex a little
spicier to have a porno playing.
But a few nights back, my g/f was attacked
by two guys and raped. She seems to be
very comfortable with me being around her,
but it still is in the back of her mind.
Something else wierd has came out of this.
It seems she has a split personality! That
or is possessed. Last night, while we were
sleeping, I had my arm across her and was
kissing her on the cheeks. She slowly
began to kiss me back and before I knew
it, she was forcefully holding me to her
wanting me to have sex with her and I knew
that before we had gone to sleep, she had
wanted to wait quite some time before
having sex. She was talking to me as if
she were awake, but she claimed to be
someone completely different. My
girlfriend's name is Janie and she was
claiming to be Kaitlyn, a girl that her
original body had died in a crash in CA 10
years ago.
All she would do was to say, "F**k me!"
She was getting very upset the longer I
went without doing the deed. I actually
asked her about the oral sex issue and it
seems that there was an issue with oral
sex in her original bad experience. I
verified this when my g/f woke up. While
she was asleep, she had a totally new
voice and everything as if she were
someone different.
This morning, it happened again, she
rolled over and said in a calm voice,
"How's my sex toy? Do you wanna f**k me
again?" Since we had a chance to talk
about this, I knew I wasn't having sex
with her. She strattled me and pinned my
arms down, I barely got out from
underneath her. It seemed her strength had
increased by at least 50%. I had realized
she was strong and quicker the night
before as well.
I had splashed water in her face to wake
her up this morning but it didn't seem to
work for a while. While all of this was
happening, several times, she would scream
my name and sounded as if it were a plea
for help. Janice had been skeptical of my
story last night, but she was scared to
death when she woke up from this thing
this morning. She told me she could
actually feel something else inside her.
She could hear me talking to her but
couldn't wake up. This 'Kaitlyn' seems
only focused on having sex with me and was
making comments of her plans for this 'new
body'. Which was to behead it. Kaitlyn
claims that she's been switching bodies
since her original body's death 10 years
ago.
I asked her when she came to possess the
body and she said the night of the raping,
my g/f needed someone there for her but
wouldn't come to me since I was a guy. She
saw the opportunity and took it. What am I
to do now? When my g/f turns into Kaitlyn,
I'm worried about her safety. I don't want
this personality to be suicidal and kill
my g/f.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005
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Posted: 11-27-07 12:28pm
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If your story is true then she needs to go
to psychologists immediately to deal with
the severe mental imbalance she has
developed. I do not believe in the spirit
world. This rape has clearly broken
something in her mind and she needs
serious medical and mental help.
I have no idea what you're talking about
with "original body". People only have one
body and one mind. Trauma such as rape can
cause the mind to become unbalanced and
fracture; but there is not two "people" in
her head; just her one mind that is
broken.
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majorjustin06
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
Location: Huntington, WV United States
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Posted: 11-27-07 17:02pm
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By original body, I was referring to what
the second personality was saying. As if
Kaitlyn were somehow able to transfer her
spirit between bodies. I don't really know
whether I believe in the spirit world or
not, but I'm open to the possibility. I
think it's more of a mental issue myself.
She's been to sleep two times without any
problems...
Hopefully this was somehow linked to a
dream she was having and it's all over
with.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 5546
Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 89
Thanked:31
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Posted: 11-27-07 17:07pm
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She just got raped a few nights ago?
Really? Are you lying to me?
The girl should be in therapy. The police
should've sent her to one right away.
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majorjustin06
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
Location: Huntington, WV United States
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Posted: 11-27-07 17:14pm
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No. She was staying at a friend's house
that night. It was about 3 or 4 am when
she was going to her car, which she had
parked in an alley behind the apartment
building. She was going to get the car,
bring it around front to pick up her
friend. As she was about to get in her
car, she was hit from behind. She says she
can't remember anything about them other
than one guy was white. The hit to the
head had caused her to be so dizzy. She
remembers her friend running to her with a
baseball bat to beat the guys away.
She never reported it to the police or
seeked medical attention or anything. I
found out about it later that evening when
she showed up at my work place. Her
clothes torn and everything still yet.
When showering, you could tell there was
dried blood in her hair because the water
was red.
I tried getting her to report anything she
could recall to the police so that her
information may help prevent the same guys
from doing this to another person.
Also, during this Kaitlyn deal, she claims
that Janice is gone, locked away. So this
other personality feels as if they are
taking over total control of the body
forever it seems.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 5546
Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 89
Thanked:31
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Posted: 11-27-07 17:21pm
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Well she obviously needs to see someone
asap.
It could be possible that the trauma of
the rape triggered a mental illness that
she was predisposed to or that the trauma
itself was just so terrible that she
hasn't emotionally recovered (this seems
likely) either way, she needs to see a
professional.
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majorjustin06
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
Location: Huntington, WV United States
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Posted: 11-27-07 17:30pm
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I know that and you know that but me
convincing her to seek help is the
problem. The first time she was raped, no
one helped her with it and she had turned
to drugs/suicidal ideas. Until she met me
and was able to open up to me, tell me
about everything. So it seems at the
moment that my help is all she wants. I'm
trying to convince her to see a
professional though. I'm a sophomore in
Psychology, but that doesn't mean I'm a
professional just yet.
I've recorded some of this audio on my
cell phone and played it back to her. She
feels that is possible that she had
feeling that she had pinned up from the
first time she was raped and that this
second raping has combined with those
feelings to manifest this new condition.
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