my dad died 5 years ago during
thanksgiving break of my freshman year of
college. ever since then i feel like my
life has been slowly falling downhill. my
relationship with my mom and brother is
way too complicated to even attempt to
explain, but for all intensive purposes i
will say that it is very strained. i was
always the person in my life that believed
that someday things would get better but
they only seem to be getting worse. i try
so hard to be this center of gravity and
calm in my family, someone that can hold
everything together and be some sort of
stabilizer. no matter what i do, my life
isn't changing for the better. i feel
really lost and unbearably alone. i have a
handful of close friends that are really
wonderful in their own way but i don't
feel like i can talk to them completely
about the way i'm feeling. i hate making
people feel sympathetic for me. it's not
that i'm too big of a person for it, i
just don't want to be in that situation.
it's like my life is crumbling around me
and there's nothing i can do about it, no
matter what i do or what i tell myself. i
want to be positive but i can't shake the
feeling that i'm being punished. i'm
trying so hard not to feel this way but
there's nothing i can do to stop it. i
don't know what to do... or where to turn.
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marvel
Supporter
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 1099 Location: Toronto, Ontario (but only a private message away)
Thanks: 50
Thanked:8
Posted: 11-21-07 00:17am
Thanks for your story, k8nakis.
Don't try to be the stabilizer...
especially when you're feeling the way you
do. I tried for so long to be the
stabilizer in my family after I had some
terrible things happen, and it only led to
my own heartache. It's too much pressure
and can add to an already hard situation.
Let things happen as they will.. the best
and healthiest thing you can do for
yourself is learn to adapt and react to
the situations you are presented with in
life... especially this one.
I just have a question...
What do you think you're being punished
for?
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CarolDiane
Moderator
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2393 Location: ,
Thanks: 111
Thanked:156
Posted: 11-29-07 21:43pm
The only one that can make you life better
and livable is you. I think you need to
try and put the past behind you and as for
your mom and brother, they are probably
taking your dad's death as bad as you are.
They too need to come to closure. I it not
easy loosing a parent or a spouse. That
gap can never be replaced. But, you can
make your life a better one. I agree with
every marvel sais. Move on with your life.
I'm sure your dad would not want it this
way.
