Boyfriend Doesnt Seem Moved to Pay Rent :\ Posted: 11-20-07 17:46pm
Me and my boyfriend have been together for
13mnths. I had suggested once what he
would think if we moved in together. Mind
you I had said this jokingly but he took
it seriously. He said he didn't wanna
leave his family stranded. A few months
later I had to move cause of roomie
problems so when I got my apartment I
noticed he stayed there everyday for a
week, and then it got longer and longer,
We went to his house to pik up a suitcase.
I guess he spoke to his folks about him
moving but he didn't mention anything to
me.lol so we.ve been living together for 6
months now. He jus recently made a career
change and is working again. But when we
first moved in he wasn't financially
stable so me being sweet didn't ask him to
help wit the rent. He did help me with
groceries, laundry etc when he had extra
to spare.
But what's stressing me out now is that I
do all the work around the house, cook,
clean, take out the trash, laundry etc and
I don't even get a thank you for it. When
he comes home and the house is looking
awesome he won't even say I did a good job
or anything. And it bums me out cause
ontop of that I still have to pay all the
rent, plus I'm struggling to pay the
deposit and I'm paying my own bills
too.dang! Ontop of that whenever I see
something at the store I know he.ll like I
buy it for him, little gifts etc, I don't
even get flowers :'(
My question is, since I know he.s jus
starting a new job and hasn't even gotten
his first paychek yet, when would be a
good time to ask him if he could help wit
the rent? Maybe 3 months jus to let him
establish himself? I need all the advice I
can get! Please help
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Rosie H
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 1160 Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
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Posted: 11-20-07 18:05pm
Ask him now. You need to know where you
stand. You guys should come to an
aggrement as to how you will handle your
bills toegther. I repeat bills together.
He needs to help you out. I know how it
is cause my hubby has been out of work for
3 months because of an injury. I am
carrying all the wieght but he gives me
his checks and lets me spread the money
out. But before that we did everthing
50/50 since the day I moved in with him.
A relationship should be equal.
JUst have a talk with him, you have
everyright too.....And there is no exuse
for him not stepping up to the plate.
Except that he likes you taking care of
everything. he has gotten comfortable
with not having to do anything. If he
hasnt taken the iniciative himself he
probably never will. he just needs a
nudge from you to snap out of it.
It isnt fair for you to have to take care
of you and him.....Unless you are happy
with that of course.....
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ladyT02
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Sep 2007 Posts: 267 Location: ,
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Thanked:4
Posted: 11-20-07 18:30pm
No I'm not happy with it that's why I'm
complaining lol I shoulda probably asked
him sooner. Anybody else got any advice?
Guys? What do you think?
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Maddie34
Moderator
Joined: 06 Oct 2007 Posts: 1891 Location: ,
Thanks: 103
Thanked:22
Posted: 11-20-07 20:02pm
When my boyfriend brought up moving in
with me this summer the first thing I
asked was would you be willing to pay
rent. I figured it would push the whole
getting a new job thing along since he'd
have to move to a new town. He seemed to
think doing chores would be the
equivalent, but I'm an organized slob so
I'm not too impressed with that XD
I agree with Rosie, 50/50. Just bring it
up, if he's got a job then I don't see why
he would have a problem. If things have
been stressful and hard for you lately
then of course you should tell him your
concerns! Money, chores, everything... If
you're going to live together then these
things have to come up, and its better
sooner than later.
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Rosie H
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 1160 Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Thanks: 18
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Posted: 11-21-07 09:48am
Yes I agree. I have learned that the way
you say things changes everything....
When you talk to him try to talk to him as
a friend and try not to yell. I know you
are frustrated in all but try to remain
calm. Talk to him in a soft tone and talk
to him like you understand him. Tell him
exactly how this makes you feel and after
you have all your peace said, then ask him
what he is going to do about it.
I know its hard because you love him and I
know you dont want to cause problems, but
I think if you talk to him like this he
will hear you.
This is what I did with my hubby when we
have these conversations.
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Marianne0558
Supporter
Joined: 10 Sep 2007 Posts: 1789 Location: Charleston, SC USA
Thanks: 55
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Posted: 11-21-07 09:52am
He needs to quit mooching off you and pay
SOMETHING. A portion of the rent, a
portion of the electric bill, a portion of
the water bill... anything he uses.
That is not fair to you.
Hell, I want to live for free, can I move
in too?
You don't necessarily have to make him pay
half, just figure out what he is taking
home financially and divide the bills up
accordingly.
He needs to be appreciative too. Jerk.
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ladyT02
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Sep 2007 Posts: 267 Location: ,
Thanks: 10
Thanked:4
Posted: 11-21-07 21:21pm
He tries when he can. Since he.s got a
car, insurance, child support, he's goin
thru a court thing rite now, and his
personal bills what he used to make was
not enuf. But he made an effort to find a
better job so that speaks good of him. I
jus hope that his new job pays him enuf to
pay his stuff and start helping me out
too. Thanx guys!
